2017

Every year I post an article around winter holiday season. An article on the current year that is coming to an end. And since it came to be a tradition on my blog, I will do it this year as well.

2017.
The worst year of my life.
I can't say that I ever had an all rounded positive year in my life thus far. There have always been extreme lows and downs even in my best years.
But 2017 was the first year that didn't entail any ups, any good times, any accomplishments, any moments I'd like to remember.
It's a year I wouldn't mind being erased from my memory altogether.

My physical and mental health were challenged to the extreme; I was in a very unhealthy living situation; a lot of my relationships with loved ones were challenged; I had to quit my job; I had to return to my home country and be cared for; I had to start all sorts of different medication with unpleasant side effects; I had to see many doctors and face harsh realities concerning my health; I had to come to terms with the fact that my decisions had an impact on others, sometimes extremely negative, even though I had no other option but to make those choices; and lastly, I had to accept that I could never be the person that I used to be again.

But apart from my personal struggles, this year, the world has gone to shit.
The situation in the Middle East keeps getting worse and people are losing their homes, their loved ones and their lives because of it; Trump is the worst thing that could have happened to USA; Israel keeps detaining and imprisoning Palestinian children; Russia keeps abusing lgbt+ persons; Brexit is the worst thing that could happen to UK since Thatcher; pollution and climate change are getting worse and worse and people still want to believe the Earth is flat and climate change isn't real; North Korea is becoming more dangerous and unstable by the day; the economy is utterly fucked and we've reached the ultimate "the rich become richer and the poor poorer" point in humanity's history; cybercrime has reached new levels; corruption keeps flourishing; far right and nazi groups are getting more and more power everywhere on the planet; natural catastrophes are fiercer and more destructive than ever; all sorts of terrorism is blooming, causing fear and being manipulated by the ones in power to install fear and discrimination in people's minds; rape culture, misogyny, sexism, lgbt+phobia, body shaming, racism, islamophobia etc. are thriving in real life and through social media; the quality of public healthcare is declining in most countries... I could go on and on and on, but then even 10000 pages wouldn't be enough.

Therefore, you can't blame me for wishing -and may I dare say hoping- for 2018 to be better, more positive, a year I -and we- will want to remember.

I understand the concept of time doesn't work like that though. Each year is a continuation of the previous one, time is linear. We have created years, months, days, minutes to make our lives easier. It's not as if each year is a circle, independent and separated from the previous years, and the years to come. However, I personally see time as a spiral, rather than a flat line, but this isn't the place to analyse my thoughts on the matter. Bottom line is, all years are connected.

Nevertheless, I can still chose to enter 2018 with new energy, new expectations, a new approach and a bit of hope.

Happy New Year everyone!

Happy Holidays & a Happy New Year

I’m here today to wish you all -who celebrate this season- Happy Holidays!

I wish you all health, happiness and love.

I hope you manage to eat good food, spend time with people you love and have a wonderful time overall.

Nevertheless, I know that for many this season is dark, gloomy and reminds them of that which they’d wish was already forgotten. To them I wish to self-care and take it easy during the holidays. Do you. If you feel like staying in, having some time off (off of social media, off of superficial communication, off of work etc.) you have the right to that. Don’t feel guilty.

May the new year bring us all that which we long for and need, and may 2017 be forever gone and all the sadness, pain and agony it brought begone with it. 

Ghosts from the past

Recently I discovered a person from my past is online stalking me -still, and has even befriended other people from my past.

That person was obsessed with me for years, and even when I made sure to distance myself from them, they kept on trying to meddle into my business.

I am puzzled by their unhealthy behaviour towards me, especially considering that one of the reasons I chose to get them out of my life was due to disrespecting my privacy.

I understand that many people don't know how to handle rejection, even when it's their fault entirely, but that doesn't justify their approach and actions.

Random Thoughts LXXI

The world we live in is an unfair, corrupted place where predators, psychopaths and narcissists have all the power, while the rest of us struggle to navigate our mere survival.

The truth about Billionaires

The fact that in this day and age people think you can become a billionaire by being nice baffles me. Are people that stupid? You don't reach that level of wealth -let alone maintain it- unless you do terrible things. You would have to underpay your stuff, overprice your products and services, exploit a lot of the people you work with, bend and break the law (e.g. bribe, blackmail, be involved in the deep web), destroy other people's lives etc. So when you admire billionaires, be aware that you're most probably also admiring criminals, narcissists and psychopaths. Because for someone to have the drive to reach a level of that much power and the resources to achieve it, they couldn't be anything else but the above mentioned.

Random Thoughts LXX

We all do stupid things.
We all make mistakes.
The past won't change.
But if we live the present in the past, neither will the future.

Men in makeup

I don't get the discrimination against men in the beauty community. Is it homophobia? Even though not all men who wear makeup are gay. Is it insecurity? Fearing that men can be more feminine than women? Which they can be, and it's ok. Masculinity isn't inherently male and femininity isn't inherently female. These attributes don't belong to a specific gender. Regardless of the societal 'norms' that have been imposed on us. These are social constructs. You don't have to act a certain way because you have a penis, a vagina or whatever genitalia you have.

If you want to wear makeup and are interested in beauty, you do you! Your reproductive organs, your appearance, your age, your religion, your ethnicity etc. are all irrelevant. There's space for all of us, no need for exclusion or discrimination.

Random Thoughts LXIX

Is it weird that even though I'm Greek I feel extremely disconnected from Greek reality?I cannot relate to most Greek traditions, parts of Greek culture and Greek societal norms. Everytime I go back to Greece I feel like an alien.

What happens when a therapist is biased?

When I see psychologists, psychiatrists etc. reinforce harmful societal stereotypes and notions I feel disappointed, disgusted and enraged.

As a medical professional you ought to prioritize seeing your patients in order to support/help them and you must never allow your personal opinions to hinder your patients' healing process.

Using your position of power as a medical professional and your authority over your patient to poison their brain with discriminatory behaviour, hate or notions that will impact them negatively, diminishing their self-worth and devalue their identity is malpractice.

So, I would invite any therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists and psychoanalysts who are racists, misogynists, lgbtqai+phobes, sexists, religious fanatics and generally display or support discriminatory behaviour to burn their certificates and quite their practice.

They should not be allowed to be in contact with patients as they will do -and probably have done- more harm than good.

I know people whose lives were destroyed by bad therapists.
Patients are vulnerable, and thus, easy targets for medical professionals who either serve a certain agenda, or can't separate their personal views from their medical practice.

Black Friday 2017

Happy Black Friday y'all!
To all my friends who work in retail:
May the force be with you. I hope you manage to return home unscathed.
To everyone else:
Enjoy your shopping and please don't step on other people, don't shout at staff or anyone, be respectful, and have an idea of what you want to buy before you enter a store.
If you don't like large crowds I'd suggest doing your shopping online, but remain vigilant for scammers (e.g. dodgy emails and links, unsafe websites etc.).

Stay safe and have fun!

ps. For more details on how to stay safe, check my other article.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to anyone who celebrates it.

May we all take a moment to think about the things we have, and why we should be grateful for them.

And may we have more and more things to be grateful for each year.

☮️ 💜

The disparity of finding pleasure in aesthetics

Aesthetics. Or more specifically, the disparity of finding pleasure in aesthetics.

Do we have to abide by the 'laws' of the aesthetics we find pleasing or are attracted to?
Or is it possible to entertain a certain aesthetic and celebrate only parts of it?

I personally find immense pleasure in certain aesthetics. I enjoy occult, gothic, witchy, dark, alternative, body modification, victorian and edo era aesthetics -among others.
However, even though I find visual -and sometimes auditory- pleasure in those aesthetics, I may not always identify with the ideology, beliefs and faith associated with them.

After all, I can entertain parts of the aesthetics that intrigue me, without necessarily having to embrace the whole aesthetic. 

For instance, even though I'm extremely interested in witchcraft and the witchy aesthetic, I do not believe in magick and its manifestation. I may even attempt to practice witchcraft to experience or to achieve a better understanding of it. Nevertheless, I do not have faith in it.

Does the fact that I am attracted to occult symbols mean they have to mean something to me, or that I have to believe in what they stand for? Or am I allowed to give them my own meanings, or even enjoy them as images deprived of any meaning?

I have tattoos of occult symbols and plan to get a few occult and witchcraft themed tattoos as well. To me they mean a lot on a personal level, and especially as symbols of femininity and feminism. But not as much as symbols of magick and witchcraft.

Does that make me a hypocrite because I'm not a believer, because I don't have faith in magick?

Many would say yes. And that's fine.

But to me, having a specific interest doesn't demand faith. 

If Lemmy (the late lead singer of Motorhead) could collect Nazi memorabilia without being considered a Nazi or a fascist, if he was allowed to have an interested without having to be associated with its ideology, why can't I do the same?

And I think I can. Whether it's witchcraft, gothic aesthetics, the edo era or anything else, as long as I am respectful and have an understanding of the aesthetic, its history and what it entails, I believe I'm far from being a hypocrite. 

(image source:https://weheartit.com/entry/165358841)

Sexual harassment & rape allegations on the news

With all of which has been happening lately in regards to past sexual harassment and rape revelations I would like to take this moment to connect with all of you who are survivors and are now suffering from PTSD -which is resurfacing due to the news:

•You have the right to turn the news off. You have the right to disconnect from the Internet for sometime. You are not a bad person for doing so. Self-care and self-love is tremendously important in your journey to heal.
Be selfish, you deserve it!

•You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. No one is entitled to request your PTSD status, your general or specific mental health status and why the news may be upsetting.
The fact that so many women are raped and harassed daily should be upsetting to everyone anyway!

•If your PTSD is getting bad or out of control, please, seek support. Either professional or from your loved ones. There are even online resources where you can receive support for free.

•Lastly, it is ok to block people and disassociate yourself from them if their behaviour, words or actions are a trigger to you. You do not have to tolerate anything/anyone that/who is harmful to your mental or physical health.

Stay safe & take care!
💗

Black Dahlia Tattoo in Athens

In 2013 I went to one of these 'Piercing Events' they had and I paid 20 euros for a microdermal.
Funnily enough, the piercer told me he didn't have the right size jewelry for my piercing, but what he had would do (other people heard him say it too).
The result was that due to the jewelry being too short the piercing was healing the wrong way. I actually had to pull it out by myself, as the piercer was not there any of the times I called to ask for help with that piercing.
4 years later, I still have the scar.
I've been pierced over 40+ times, had all sorts of piercings, so I know how to take care of my piercings. So I kindly ask you to refrain from blaming this on me.
I have friends who had piercings done there and never had an issue and love the place, but I also have friends whose experiences were negative.

I would personally never step my foot in there again, and if I ever saw that piercer I'd give him a piece of my mind.

Secrets

Everyone has them.

Some share them with others, some keep them to themselves.

But there's no harm in having secrets, as long as these secrets don't harm someone else.

Your own secrets are yours to keep, and it's no one's business to dig up and reveal them, or force you to expose them.

But bare in mind that once you share them, you have no control over what others will do with them.

'Am I not supposed to trust anyone?' you may ask.

Of course. You have the right to trust anyone you want.

But as The Pierces' song says: "Two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead."

Κουφοντίνας

Έχει γίνει του πορνό στο Twitter επειδή πήρε 2ήμερη άδεια ο Κουφοντίνας, επειδή ένας από αυτούς που τον υποδέχτηκαν έξω από τη φυλακή ήταν ο γιος του προέδρου της Βουλής, επειδή .... μπλα μπλα μπλα

Ναι, δολοφόνησε 11 ανθρώπους. Ναι, ήταν μέλος τρομοκρατικής οργάνωσης. Όχι, ο φόνος δεν πρέπει να επιβραβεύεται.

Αλλά, η 17 Νοέμβρη δε στοχοποιούσε αθώους πολίτες. Στοχοποιούσε διεφθαρμένους πολιτικούς και μαφιόζους. Πολλές φορές μια θετική αλλαγή είναι βουτηγμένη στο αίμα. Ειδικά εφόσον η δικαιοσύνη υποστήριζε το 'δίκιο' των λίγων, και όχι το δίκιο των πολιτών, ήταν αναμενόμενο ότι κάποιοι πολίτες θα επαναστατούσαν.
Καμία ειρηνική και αναίμακτη επανάσταση δεν είχε αποτελέσματα.

Προφανώς μαζί με τους ενόχους θα υπήρξαν παράπλευρες απώλειες.
Δεν επικροτώ τη δολοφονία ούτε την τρομοκρατία.

Αλλά αν η 17 Νοέμβρη είναι τρομοκρατική οργάνωση, κι όλοι αυτοί που τρώνε τόσα χρόνια τα λεφτά του Ελληνικού λαού, όλοι οι διεφθαρμένοι πολιτικοί, οι μαφιόζοι, οι εμπλεκόμενοι σε σκάνδαλα, όλοι αυτοί είναι επίσης τρομοκράτες.

Εγώ εύχομαι στον κύριο Κουφοντίνα να απολαύσει αυτές τις 2 μέρες άδειας που του δώθηκε, αλλά περισσότερο να απολαύσει ότι όλοι οι διεφθαρμένοι θα τρέμουν και θα τρώνε τα λύσσακά τους αυτές τις 2 μέρες. 

Angry & Tired

I've been very angry lately.

Angry and tired.

Angry because I see so much unfairness around me. People benefit from others' sadness and exploitation. And they don't even care.
They don't give a fuck.

And tired because I am one of those who care.
I am one of those who do give a fuck.
And so, I suffer.

I suffer due to my own issues (which I'm not going to refer to on this post, as they're way too many), but I also suffer due to others' issues and how the unfairness of this world is affecting them.

I'm also tired of how unfairness influences my life, my health, my career, my relationships.

Many people say money can't bring you happiness. Well, what it can bring you is very close to that: power. And power gives you the opportunity to say 'fuck all' and do as you please, live as you please, freed from the restrictions and limitations of a 'normal/average' life.

I know your true face

In the past few days I keep stumbling upon pictures and posts featuring a certain person from the Greek alternative/queer community.

That person -and certain people they associate with- hurt very good friends of mine, and have even tried to hurt me, too.
I don't want people like that in my life of course, hence why, I cut off all ties years ago.
That person and other people that person has relations with are extremely spiteful, petty and mean. Like the 'Mean Girls' -but the alternative/queer version of that.

People like that are one of the reasons why I'm discouraged from ever attempting to be part of the Greek queer community and I just stand beside it as an ally, always keeping some sort of distance.
Unfortunately, too many negative incidents with people who are 'popular' in those circles have taken place, to allow me to feel comfortable in them.

Anyhow, I'd urge all of you to stop being dazzled by others' appearance and style. Look into their souls. Listen to their words. Observe their actions.

If someone keeps trashtalking about others in front of you, they most likely trashtalk about you behind your back as well.
And when trashtalking often entails remarks on one's body, race, sexuality etc. it's discrimination.

The fact that one may be part of one marginalised social group, doesn't mean they can't be discriminatory towards other marginalised social groups.

Unfortunately, the old saying 'Don't do to others what you don't want to be done to you' doesn't really hold any meaning for many people.

Random Thoughts LXVIII

Feeling quite blue today...

I don't know, it seems that every time I take a few steps forward towards improving my life -and my health- something happens that pushes me back.

It took such a long time -due to my ill health- to finish my masters degree. After struggling and fighting for so long, I made it.
Then, I managed to find a place to live and I got myself a job. Isn't that what adults are supposed to do anyways?
The housing situation especially affected my health -severely. The job was fine -most of the time- even though I was underpaid.
But in the end, all sorts of horrific things came to my life at the same time -as always timing is extremely fucked up in my life-, awaking some old buried phantoms of the past as well.

It's not easy to fight everything at once and all the time. And it's even harder when most people don't know your struggles and suffering and have certain expectations from you, or misconceptions of you.

Which is why this past year I decided to drop the weight of others' expectations completely. For once in my life I am being selfish.

I've tried to do that many times in the past, but I had failed.

This time, I had no other choice. My survival instincts kicked in and I prioritised myself.
Because I had to.

Random Thoughts LXVII

I always feel like I'm getting more and more tired of life.
But then I look back on my posts and I see that I've been equally tired since a long time ago.
It just feels like it's all new or more intense, when it isn't.

I wonder, how flawed can my perception be in other matters?

For example, I already have an issue with my perception of time, and certain events. I sometimes even struggle to separate reality from fantasy.

But I've noticed that that happens to other people as well. Many of those people I know and/or love. Interestingly enough, most of them don't realise.

What if we all do it one way or another, having a flawed perception, one that cannot always be objective, distinguish reality, or follow linear concepts, but we aren't aware of it?
What does that mean for the world? The way it operates, the way societies form, and even more importantly, the way we seek and perceive the truth?

Damn, that escalated quickly to a philosophical debate -or maybe to a mere philosophical question...

Random Thoughts

All this time I've been numbering my 'Random Thoughts' posts with latin numerals.
Only thing is, I actually fucked it up as i never checked what the numerals were for anything above 10.
I thought you could just keep using those, but no.
After forty they change. And so I am left with two options: Ether go back and edit each title or use the correct numerals from now on.

As you can probably guess, I'm not going back to over 60 posts to correct the numerals on the title.
But I will try to keep using the right numerals from now on.

Why did I even use those damned latin numerals in the first place?
I guess I was trying to be fancy...(?)

Why be subscribed to both my blog and wordpress?

Well, I don't blame you for asking.

I recently decided to create Wordpress as a back-up to my blog.
However, the more I use Wordpress the more I feel the need to use it for a different purpose.
And so, I decided to use Wordpress to share snippets of my work, whereas, I will use my blog as what it's supposed to be, my personal blog.

On Wordpress you will find parts of my poems, lyrics, stories, thoughts etc., and even a few articles.

On my blog you'll find my unfiltered opinion on the news, my thoughts, rants, my personal stories, lists, hauls, beauty related posts, reviews etc.

Basically, my blog is the unfiltered and pretty personal medium I use to express myself, whereas my wordpress is more 'professional.'
Of course there will be some crossovers between the two, and you may find certain articles or art shared via both platforms.

I hope you enjoy both!

xx

Halloween Song

Happy Halloween! 🔮⚰👻🎃

Here's part of my song 'Halloween Song' to celebrate:

"I think there is a ghost in my room

During the night it wanders

Dancing shadows creepy sounds are on the loose

I can see outside my window shining spiders

In my room there is a spot that feels too cold

Even when the heating works full power

What I’ll tell you might seem bold

But sometimes I feel I’m not alone

Even when in my room there is no other

Creepy, freaky little sounds

Make my heart pound even faster

I’m a helpless little mouse

Waiting for my own disaster"

And here's a LINK to the video of me performing it a long time ago!

Neverland

Since it was my birthday the other day, I decided to gift you a snippet of a poem I wrote about a month ago.

For the past few years I get pre-birthday melancholy during the month of my birthday, October (which is funny considering it's also my favourite month and I love Halloween, but hey! I'm a walking contradiction).

And so, here it is -partly:

'Neverland'

"Life’s already sad and boring; you’re not even thirty-one

Now you have to be so careful, and to bring food to the table

Pay those bills, have a career, and no option to give up

Always pretending you know what you’re doing, heart shut

Rude awakening leaves you wishing you were Peter Pan

Always young, forever young, eternal youth in Neverland"

Mysticismlover does Wordpress

I recently found out that I am being targeted on other social media platforms besides Youtube.
I'm not going to mention the whole Youtube fiasco again, it's done. My channel is gone.
However, someone is trying to eliminate my online presence for some reason.

Thus, leaving me no option but to try to get on as many social media platforms as possible, to ensure that my work doesn't get erased and my online voice silenced.

And because Google has proven to me that it's not trustworthy at all, I decided to also publish a lot of my blog posts on Wordpress.

You won't find a lot of the personal stuff I post here in there, as this blog is my sanctuary, and I enjoy that it's more cosy and less exposed. You will also not find product reviews and Hauls there, as I think my blog is more appropriate for those.
But you will find snippets of my art there and it also functions as a backup, just in case this blog gets deleted by Google.

Pregnant Persons Vol. 2

Sometime ago I wrote an article about the Health Sector referring to pregnant persons as "pregnant people" instead of "pregnant women." You can find it here.

Today, I read an article standing against the use of "pregnant people" to refer to anyone who is pregnant. Read it here.

And here follows my response to that article:

I don't see how using the term "pregnant people" to be inclusive of trans men, non binary, intersex and genderqueer persons "shifts the focus away from gender as a means by which female bodies are controlled and problematises bodies themselves."
We all know that to become pregnant you need a female reproductive system.
We also know that the majority of persons on this planet who have female reproductive systems are cis females.

The author claims "I sincerely doubt that anyone thinks people with wombs have the word “FEMALE” imprinted in their bones," which I find ignorant to say the least. Unfortunately, many people out there have no idea what the difference between sex and gender is, and don't even recognise trans, queer, intersex and non binary folks' existence. Transphobia/queerphobia exists and it's dangerous.

She also says "It’s a way of using language to create the illusion of dismantling a hierarchy when what you really end up doing is ignoring it." How is the hierarchy ignored by being inclusive of trans men, queer, intersex and non binary persons? We know that persons with non female reproductive systems usually make decisions affecting persons with female reproductive systems. That doesn't get erased because we use the term "pregnant persons." 

Towards the end she states that "In order to address this we need to talk about women as a class. Gender-neutral terms limit our ability to do this." Does she forget that trans men belong to a marginalised social group? That even though they may benefit from male privilege in their everyday life -if they are 'passable'- they face horrific discrimination from medical professionals and in other fields? And what about gender queer, non binary and intersex folks who are marginalised as well, and also suffer from discrimination in almost every aspect of their lives? These people often have their whole existence devalued and not recognised by the state. Many times their health is compromised because the Health Sector won't even try to accommodate their needs. What about them as a class? They actually face more discrimination than women, and have a higher possibility of being raped or murdered. "Pregnant persons" whether referring to women, trans men, queer, non binary or intersex persons still refers to classes which are not at the top of the pyramid, which are not -often- given a place in decision making on their own reproductive health. 

If the author's aim is to see this issue through the prism of sociology, if "The pregnant body is not an isolated, solipsistically self-defining object. It exists in time, within a specific social, historical and political context," she also has to recognise the nature and synthesis of today's society. 
This is the era of lgbtqai+ revolution, it's the time when we try to be more inclusive, more accepting, and more aware. It's the era when feminism is intersectional and no longer restricted to what happens to cis females.