Transphobic Behaviour CBB

So, for anyone who doesn't know, there is a trans woman on the latest season of Celebrity Big Brother. And there are a lot of transphobic reactions against her on social media.

Left: India, Right: Ginuwine (all pictures belong to Celebrity Big Brother)

My understanding is that she was having a conversation with another CBB housemate, Ginuwine, where he admitted he isn't attracted to trans women.
She asked him if he'd be attracted to her if she wasn't trans, and he said maybe he would be.
India asked him to kiss her several times during that conversation, and even tried to force him to kiss her.

Now, the situation online is the following:
Many people are defending Ginuwine, saying he was sexually abused (!) by India. Many people are defending India, saying Ginuwine made transphobic remarks.

I believe the main issue here is that India is an extremely disliked character in the house, and people confuse their feelings towards her with having the right to misgendering her, or make transphobic remarks against her.
In the house alone, three or four people have misgendered her, and one of them, Ann, did it four times, one of them at least on purpose.

India is very outspoken, complains often, and is probably going through some personal issues which she projects on her housemates. She seems insecure and trying to navigate life as a trans woman.

The audience seems to be unable to separate their personal feelings towards her and her behaviour from the basic respect we owe to others. E.g. never misgendering them, never displaying lgbt+phobic behaviour, etc.

India exploded one night, after having tolerated too much from her housemates, feeling the others disrespected her because she is trans. She felt they didn't recognise her as a woman.

I am not trans, therefore I will do my best to explain a few things, using my knowledge as an ally, but I urge you to look for trans folks who spoke on the matter, as their input is more valuable than mine.

I personally defended India on twitter, and that resulted in me being bombarded with transphobia, trolling and hate. People calling me "crazy," "mentally unstable," "ignorant," urging me to study biology, threatening me, calling me names and generally being horrible.
I was so upset I was trembling. I cannot begin to fathom what India, and other trans people, must be feeling, seeing how the audience responded to her.

Now, what a lot of people are not getting is that your biological sex and your gender are two different things. Courtney Act kindly explained it on last night's episode.
Your biological sex is the genitalia you were born with. Your gender is your gender identity, how you feel. Your biological sex and your gender don't always agree. And that is when you are trans, genderqueer, agender, gender fluid etc.

Therefore, India may have been born with male genitalia, but that doesn't mean she ever was a man. She has always been a woman. Her gender identity is valid and should ALWAYS BE RESPECTED, whether you like her or not.
She would still be a woman even if she didn't undergo gender reassignment surgery.
You don't have to have any surgery for your gender identity to be valid. Your gender identity is valid by default. Moreover, your genitalia are no one's business, and no one should ever ask trans persons about that, unless they have established with them that it's ok.

A lot, and I mean a lot, of people who tweeted me, claimed Ginuwine isn't transphobic and it's his right to not want to be with trans women.

On one hand I do agree, no one should ever be forced to be with someone they don't want to be with. On the other hand though, he did display discriminatory behaviour. Because he said he might have been attracted to India if she wasn't trans; even though she'd be the exact same person.

I understand that when someone is straight, they are only attracted to women. I also understand that someone may only want to have sex with people with female genitalia.
But the thing is, India is a woman, and, she also has female genitalia.
Thus, if Ginuwine is only attracted to women, and to female genitalia, India being trans shouldn't be an issue.
Of course, Ginuwine has every right to not find her attractive as a person, or appearance wise. He doesn't have to be attracted to her. No question about that.
Nevertheless, his reasoning was discriminatory, and can be perceived as transphobic. If he had worded this differently, I doubt there would have been such backlash to his comments.

It goes without saying that India was wrong to try and force him for a kiss. And she has received tremendous backlash, especially from people who thought Ginuwine's critics were being racist, because he is a black man. A lot of people pointed out that if he tried to force a kiss to a white woman in the house, he'd have been called a molester.

And I cannot argue with that. Racism exists and it hurts all POC every day. And if Ginuwine had tried to force a kiss to a woman in the house, he'd be crucified. Not just for being a man, but also for being a black man.

Nonetheless, that doesn't excuse the audience misgendering India and/or displaying overall transphobic behaviour.

Ginuwine was wrong, and India was wrong.
Two wrongs will never make a right.

I prompt everyone to take this opportunity and educate themselves on trans issues, and not use India's trans identity as a weapon against her.
Furthermore, I suggest everyone to take this opportunity to educate themselves on racism, and not use Ginuwine's race as a weapon against him.

Let's start this year by being sympathetic, understanding, genuine (no pun intended) and kind. Let's all make an effort to educate ourselves on minority and marginalised communities' issues.
Let's be better people.

Peace and Love,
Lara

Pregnant People

I read responses to this: bma-warns-against-using-expectant-mothers-for-pregnant-women-as-it-may-offend-intersex-men

(calling pregnant persons 'pregnant persons' instead of expecting mothers, as many trans males, agender, gender neutral, gender fluid or intersex persons can get pregnant)

A lot of women were angry, saying they want to be called 'expecting mothers,' that they waited their whole lives to be mothers, that this takes away from their motherhood and many went as far as to make transphobic comments.

I personally have no interest in having children, being a mother etc.
However, as a person who identifies as a woman, I have one thing to tell them:
If you're so insecure about your femininity and motherhood, that you get offended by being called a 'person,' then that's on you.
Stop reflecting your insecurities and fragile femininity on others.

Anyway, you could request your nurses, midwives, doctor etc. to call you an expecting mom if you want.
So, chill the fuck out and let other people with female reproductive organs have their space and be respected as well.

Accept that not only women can get pregnant and give birth. There are many people who don't identify as female and have female reproductive organs. And you have no fucking right to dismiss them because you want 'motherhood exclusivity.'

Donald Trump

The mere existence of Donald Trump and the fact that people are supporting him and he may become the president of USA shows humanity has no fucking hope.

In 2016, in 2016, there are still racists, white supremacists, homo/poly/transphobes, fatphobes, bullies, rapists, abusers, serial killers, cannibals, misogynists, sexists, extreme right wing people, people who torture animals, pedophiles, ableists, mentalists...

Humanity has existed for hundreds of thousands of years and we still discriminate against each other (not to mention that there is still war, hunger, poverty).

I generally exist in a very protected environment since my friends and most of my acquaintances are decent people and none of the above.

But in the past couple of years I have been exposed to the true nature of humanity widely and forcefully, through the internet.

And the more active I am online, the more desperate I become.

The more I lose any last fragment of hope I may have had.

Because for humanity to be the way it is, to have been and still be the way it is, it means any sort of evolution doesn't change the core of the human psych and behaviour. Hate and discrimination.

No matter how evolved we are as a species, no matter how fast technical advances and science unravel the mysteries of the universe, we won't change.

Evil is ingrained in our souls. That is very apparent to me. Not sure if it's somehow passed in our dna. But it is there.

And all this leaves me questioning, is goodness a minority?

Are we, the ones who demand peace and equality a painful minority?

Because if we are, where does that live us in the sense of demanding those things?