Uroboros

The same thing

Repeating and re-repeating until something changes,

But nothing changes;

Stagnant, it all remains the same

Painfully obvious and against us

(01-2022. Inspired by scroll 1 (1996) by Carolee Schneeman)

Sources of inspiration

I've been thinking lately of the things that inspire me.
Even though I can create -and have created- on demand, there are things that inspire my creativity to be expressed through different mediums.

When it comes to writing poems and lyrics, I usually get inspired by sadness, trauma, negative feelings and situations (either mine of other persons').

When it comes to writing stories I get inspired by any experience (mine or someone else's): negative, positive, funny, grim, mysterious...

When it comes to photography I get inspired by my surroundings or concepts I envision.

When it comes to drawing I usually just let my subconscious guide me.

When it comes to music I get inspired by my lyrics, as I write lyrics first and create music after.

When it comes to makeup I get inspired by other people's work, nature or specific themes, and of course, anything spooky and gothic.

But isn't that interesting? We use different mediums, a different language if you like, to express different thoughts and sources of inspiration.

"I believe in you": A supportive message or a source of anxiety?

"I believe in you."

The pressure of this phrase has been weighing on my shoulders since I was a little kid.

I know you'll think "Pressure? It's such a positive phrase!"

But really, is it?

What "I believe in you" implies is more like "I believe you can make it so, I'm expecting you to make it."

Therefore what it really shows is others' expectations of you to succeed. 

In addition to that that expectation usually connotes others' unwillingness to help you, since they have already predetermined you can make it on your own.

Expectations can be problematic; especially when coming from others towards the results of your efforts on any aspect. 

Expectations can be highly stressful and block you from doing things your own way and/or for your own sake.

Expectations force you to try to please those who "believe in you."

You feel you have to return to those people because they gave you that phrase, "I believe in you."

When people "believe in you", they are less inclined to assist you, presuming "you already got this."

Or maybe it's an excuse so they won't have to ask whether you need help or support.

Because if they ask, they're committing to provide any kind of support you may seek after. 

So please, before you say "I believe in you", question your motives and thoughts. Do not throw this phrase around without thinking beforehand.

Because to some it may be a great source of power and inspiration, but to some others it can be the beginning of endless anxiety and depression.