The kids and the dark spiral

I hear screams coming from outside.

It's the school kids so I don't pay attention (they scream and shout for no reason all the time).

A few minutes pass and I hear screams and a commotion.

I look outside my window only to see a kid bleeding, being separated from someone he was fighting with. They almost got hit by a car as well.

The girls of the group kept on screaming while some of the boys left, and some others were with the kid who was bleeding.

They kept on screaming and shouting, and most of them seemed to enjoy the drama that was caused.

Not even one adult tried to separate the kids who were fighting, not even one adult tried to see if the boy was ok. Mind you the road was really busy at the time, so there were plenty of people around.

Most of the kids didn't try to help resolve the situation either.

Watching these young kids on a daily basis, overhearing their conversations, observing their attitude, it makes me really sad.

So much hatred, aggression, hate from such a young age.

So much unnecessary loudness and screaming, which is probably compensating for the things they really wanna say, for wanting to truly be heard. Or maybe because they have no other tools to communicate.

So much time wasted on things that are irrelevant and unimportant. Time they'll never get back.

I wonder what are their parents doing; whether they're ensuring their kids grow in a loving environment or are they too busy with work, survival and problems to care?

These kids are going to grow up thinking that what they're doing now is ok. Shouting, being violent, fighting... They're going to think that shouting is the only way of communication and violence is the only way to resolve your problems.

They're not going to be given the opportunity to explore peace and serenity in their lives. How beneficial civil interaction and communication can be, and how issues can be resolved calmly, without people having to get hurt.

And at times like this, when I see the younger generations going down that dark spiral that the previous generations created, I feel hopeless.

Unexpected

I'm always glad that I can write.

I can write about the things I don't want to forget, I can write about the things that happen to me or the process through which the prism of my thoughts filters my reality.

It's never an easy thing to go through a comedown (feel free to interpret the word on your own way). Sometimes it's harder to overcome one than others.

On my way home I was truly sad that I'd have to return to reality. My xmas holidays have been dreamy so far, but I'd have to take uni seriously from now on; I'd have to face the return of the housemates I'm not really fond of; I'd have to reduce my social life to a minimum -to my mates' dismay; I'd have to forget about the emotional void devouring my soul; I'd have to accept several things were going to change in different aspects of my life without me having any control over them...

I was drowning. Even before I got on the bus home I felt like shit -to put it simply. Even though I was surrounded by people whom I adore and I know they care and love me, even when these people tried to cheer me up, there was a dark cloud all around my head. And as I always do in these situations -when I'm having a comedown/bipolar moment/panik attack or anything of the sort- I chose to leave and be by myself for fear of hurting someone of these people or making them worry.

The funny thing about expectations is that they're a joke. I expected I'd be feeling shit, cry on my way home -or at home- and sink into depression. However two totally irrelevant incidents took place in front of my eyes that left me smiling on the rest of my way home in the past hour.

As I was on the tube trying to blank out the family sitting next to and opposite to me something strange caught my eye. The sister (around 5 years old) hugged lovingly her brother (around 2 years old) who was  on the baby troller thingy. The mom yelled: "Aw how touching! Look at that! Some sibling love over there!". And the little girl approached her brother again and hugged him once more. Then they both started giggling and they looked so happy. It was so simple for them. Anyone who knows me a bit knows I hate children. Therefore I was not impressed by the children's age, but by their quality to find happiness in such weird ways.

After a couple of minutes I had to take another tube line to get me home. As I was waiting for the train I noticed a tall handsome guy who was dancing discreetly while whispering the lyrics of the song he was listening to. I realised a couple of  people were giving him evil stares even though he didn't make any noise or weird movements. After I got off the train I saw he lived on the same street as I do. He was singing quite loudly a cheesy Spice Girls song on his way home. He looked so happy, so content and so utterly brave doing so. I was mesmerized by his smile. A pure proof of enjoyment.

Why did I even notice these two incidents? Why did I even care?

Because I realised I was blinded for a moment. I let negativity and darkness cover my light. I let the shadow of self doubt and anxiety to erase -even momentarily- all the good moments and people in my life. It's so easy to forget you know. Life itself can be a trap sometimes. A trap to push you onto a routine of boredom, anxiety, sadness and misery.

Peace,
Lara



p.s. I got to thank my Goddess, Leo, for putting up with my emotional roller coaster today and making me smile <3

Freedom of choice!

Who gives parents the right to decide on their children’s beliefs and religion? NO ONE! Let your children grow up and do their own research before they choose. Let them choose for themselves!
Freedom of choice is a HUMAN RIGHT!

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