Angry & Tired

I've been very angry lately.

Angry and tired.

Angry because I see so much unfairness around me. People benefit from others' sadness and exploitation. And they don't even care.
They don't give a fuck.

And tired because I am one of those who care.
I am one of those who do give a fuck.
And so, I suffer.

I suffer due to my own issues (which I'm not going to refer to on this post, as they're way too many), but I also suffer due to others' issues and how the unfairness of this world is affecting them.

I'm also tired of how unfairness influences my life, my health, my career, my relationships.

Many people say money can't bring you happiness. Well, what it can bring you is very close to that: power. And power gives you the opportunity to say 'fuck all' and do as you please, live as you please, freed from the restrictions and limitations of a 'normal/average' life.

Heartbreak

How do you continue living after heartbreak?

What are the steps to move on?

Many people have asked me the above questions over the years.

Most of the time I told them to try and distract themselves and that with time they'd be able to move on.

But some even though they tried to follow my advice couldn't move on after years.

So now, when people ask me... I tell them to just try to take care of themselves.
I tell them to see a therapist. I tell them to try and focus on surviving each day.

Because that's the most honest and realistic advice I could give.

Rant: Needs & Wants

All my life I've prioritised the needs and wants of the people I loved.

That has caused me much grief and misery over the years. But I thought I had to do the 'right' thing, to be the bigger person. Even when it'd cause me to suffer.

Recently, for once, I asked a person I love to consider my needs and wants before theirs.

It didn't happen. Once again, my needs and wants were ignored.

So, I'm angry. I'm infuriated. I'm enraged.

And you know what? Fuck them.

Fuck every person who has been inconsiderate to me when I've always tried to be there for them, when I've always done my best to give them what they want and make them happy.

Fuck that.

To deserve me at my best, you have to be able to handle me and support me at my worst. The same way I've supported you and handled your situations.

You can't have it all. You can't only want the positive and shy away from the negative moments of a person's life. A person you supposedly, a person you allegedly love.
Be it friendship, a love relationship, or even a child-parent relationship.

Real life investment

You invest on someone and you expect everything is going to go alright.
You expect things won't change.

But then, people change, and things change along with them.

And then, you're alone. Because your investment failed and was a waste of time.

And you're left with a broken heart and a void you'll never be able to fill.

Sex vs Love

For some people sex and love go hand in hand.
For some other it's one or the other.

While many may have both, together, separately or different combinations with different people.

What happens though when you're with a partner with whom you don't agree with on the importance of either or the relationship of sex and love?

How can a couple overcome such a big difference, one that may actually result in one, or both, partners to be unhappy?

Do you open the relationship so that both partners can fulfill their needs elsewhere, do you end the relationship, do you keep the relationship as is or do you try to find a middle ground for both?

When the dream turns to a nightmare

And then you realise you lived in a lie all along.

Words meant nothing the moment hardships came along.

You were not enough.

You were not wanted.