Random Thoughts LXIX

Is it weird that even though I'm Greek I feel extremely disconnected from Greek reality?I cannot relate to most Greek traditions, parts of Greek culture and Greek societal norms. Everytime I go back to Greece I feel like an alien.

I know your true face

In the past few days I keep stumbling upon pictures and posts featuring a certain person from the Greek alternative/queer community.

That person -and certain people they associate with- hurt very good friends of mine, and have even tried to hurt me, too.
I don't want people like that in my life of course, hence why, I cut off all ties years ago.
That person and other people that person has relations with are extremely spiteful, petty and mean. Like the 'Mean Girls' -but the alternative/queer version of that.

People like that are one of the reasons why I'm discouraged from ever attempting to be part of the Greek queer community and I just stand beside it as an ally, always keeping some sort of distance.
Unfortunately, too many negative incidents with people who are 'popular' in those circles have taken place, to allow me to feel comfortable in them.

Anyhow, I'd urge all of you to stop being dazzled by others' appearance and style. Look into their souls. Listen to their words. Observe their actions.

If someone keeps trashtalking about others in front of you, they most likely trashtalk about you behind your back as well.
And when trashtalking often entails remarks on one's body, race, sexuality etc. it's discrimination.

The fact that one may be part of one marginalised social group, doesn't mean they can't be discriminatory towards other marginalised social groups.

Unfortunately, the old saying 'Don't do to others what you don't want to be done to you' doesn't really hold any meaning for many people.

Rude hairdresser at Greek salon

I've been wanting to get back to pink/blue and generally unusual hair lately.
However, I know my hair is healthy and want to keep it that way.

So, I've been calling hair salons in Athens to see if they offer what I'm asking for: Olaplex treatments, cruelty free hair dyes and colourful hairdos.

I had a horrific experience with one of them.

I called Salonnuts on a Friday. The guy who picked the phone told me they're too busy and to call on a Monday.
I called on a Monday and I tried to explain what I was looking for.

The guy who picked the phone was so rude to me that I was in shock.
He told me very abruptly he's "not doing colourful hair" and "that's very last year."
He said I should have asked him to do that in 2017 not nearly 2018 (!!!).
I explained I'm not doing it for fashion, but I've had colourful hair for 11 years now.
His rude attitude didn't stop there. He also told me he'd never have a client leave his establishment with colourful hair.
Funnily enough, if you check their Instagram, he has done colourful hair on customers before.
During the phone call he didn't even let me speak properly, he kept on interrupting me and he had a bad tone.

I'm extremely shaken by his behaviour and rudeness. I was sincerely considering going to his establishment to get my hair done, since I read so many positive reviews.

Now I know the reviews were most probably fake, left by friends and family.

Greek society - Murder

A morbid yet unfortunately representative example of Greek society (especially smaller towns and islands):

A 37 year old woman, mother of three children was murdered by her husband.
He was planning the crime for a long time, hence why he made certain changes to his farm (moving big rocks etc) to accommodate the body.
Reportedly, the woman started taking kickboxing lessons two years ago (maybe because she was suspicious or already receiving physical abuse?).
She had told her close friends she felt trapped in her marriage and wanted to divorce her husband and move to another city with her children. Apparently he was the jealous type, and one night when he thought that his wife received text from an ex he strangled her. She actually had a broken leg so she couldn't really fight back. He lied to the children, her parents and the police until the end. When the police found the body buried in his farm he started running for it. The police think there is a possibility her father in law helped his son hide the body.

That is Greek society. Trapping women in harmful relationships that result in their death (either physical or emotional). Because even if this woman survived she would still not feel she had anyone in her environment who could save her or help her escape from her husband. And the husband brainwashed from patriarchy, he felt entitled to kill her.

How scary is that. Someone thinking they have the right to take your life because you no longer want to be with them.

I find it extremely hypocritical that the locals are so shocked, talking about how unfair the murder was.
You are the ones perpetuating misogyny, believing females should be in the kitchen raising the kids, taking care of the house...
You are the ones telling women to put up with abuse and domestic violence.
Yet, you pretend to be saddened by the death of this woman. Guess what. You have her blood on your hands as well.
For every murder, for every suicide, for every rape, for every street harassment, for every inequality...
You Greek society. You and your anachronistic hypocritical conservatism are to blame.

So, fuck you.

Do you love you?

I remember 5 years ago when I was hanging out in Patras' main square with a couple of friends a homeless guy came and sat with us.
He was a foreigner, too skinny, tall and he looked pretty dirty. He was holding a beer on one hand.
He started mumbling something about where he came from and his life in Greece.
The guys stood up and were ready to leave when he came close to me and said:
-I got one think to ask you if that's ok.
-Sure.
He looked at me in the eyes and asked:

-Do you love you?
I think I hesitated for a bit and then replied:
-Of course I do.
I still remember I felt so weird when he asked me. I still remember I wasn't sure of my reply.

And I'm so glad that today being the person I am if he asked again I'd reply the same thing without any hesitation at all.

I hope he's doing well, asking people the things they're scared to ask themselves.

:)

Ελευθερία έκφρασης

Πολλές φορές μεγαλώνοντας αναρωτήθηκα γιατί κάποια άτομα με τα οποία δεν είχα καμία σχέση προσπαθούσαν να μου αποδείξουν ότι οι στυλιστικές επιλογές μου ήταν λάθος. Πόσες φορές μου έχουν πει "Μα γιατί έχεις σκουλαρίκια και τατουάζ μια χαρά θα ήσουν χωρίς αυτά!"
Αυτά τα άτομα προφανώς και δε συνειδητοποιούν ότι το θέμα δεν τα αφορά· δε συνηδειτοποιούν ότι ο κάθε ένας/μία έχει δικαίωμα να κάνει ό,τι τον/την εκφράζει στο σώμα του/της.
Πέρα του ότι είναι απίστευτα αγενής ο τρόπος με τον οποίο οι περισσότεροι σε 'συμβουλεύουν'.
Συνάμα δεν μπορούσα να καταλάβω γιατί στέκονταν στην εμφάνιση και οι 'συμβουλές' τους δεν είχαν να κάνουν με τη συμπεριφορά ή την προσωπικότητά μου.
Δεν μπορούσα να καταλάβω γιατί ενώ εγώ σέβομαι το ότι είναι διαφορετικοί από εμένα δεν τους κατακρίνω, ενώ εκείνοι κατακρίνουν εμένα.

Και ύστερα κατάλαβα. Θεωρούσαν το πώς είμαι 'μη φυσιολογικό', 'μη αποδεκτό' επειδή δεν έβλεπαν άτομα σαν κι εμένα στην τηλεόραση (τη θρησκεία του Νεοέλληνα).
Θυμάμαι πριν 4 χρόνια που μια φίλη μου που σπούδαζε στην Πάτρα είχε ξυρίσει το μισό της κεφάλι μια γιαγιά της είχε πει "Αυτό το χε κάνει κι η Βίσση!"
Είναι λυπηρό.
Είναι απαράδεκτο επίσης, ειδικά για τους νέους ανθρώπους να περιορίζουν την αντίληψή τους.
Γιατί πολύ απλά αυτό το μικρό κουτάκι το οποίο αντιπροσωπεύει τις αντιλήψεις τους δεν είναι το φυσιολογικό. Είναι αυτό που κάποιοι βάφτισαν φυσιολογικό για το συμφέρον τους. Για να ευνουχίσουν τη σκέψη, την ελεύθερη επιλογή. Ώστε να σε αναγκάσουν να μπεις στο μικρό κουτάκι τους για να μη γίνεσαι αποδέκτης/τρια bullying.

Αν αντί να ασχολούμαστε με το τι φοράει ο διπλανός, με το αν έχει τατουάζ ή σκουλαρίκια καθόμασταν να διαβάσουμε τι συμβαίνει στον κόσμο· αρχίζαμε να αναπτύσσουμε κριτική σκέψη και να βελτιωνόμαστε σαν άνθρωποι ο πλανήτης αυτός θα ήταν ένα πολύ καλύτερο μέρος για να ζεις.

University Life Diary I

I created this blog a couple of years ago to share my experiences, views and randomness with anyone that was interested in reading them.

Lately I've been feeling intense pressure from Uni. I've been studying non stop. I've been sleep deprived. I've lost weight because I didn't eat at all.

I was expecting the Christmas break with all my might hoping to get some rest and spend sometime with my family and friends in Greece. 

Being a student in London -especially when you're a foreigner- isn't an easy task. Not only shall you speak English well enough to support your academic studies but you shall also be aware of the 'etiquette' British people follow in their everyday lives.

When I left Greece for the first time, when I left Athens for the first time to chase my dream in music I thought London was the place to be. I -as most foreigners do- considered London to be a paradise of all sorts. London is a marvelous city. It's Europe's metropolitan centre. You can find anything you can imagine there. There are so many choices, so many different people. You can visit exquisite museums, parks and monuments. 

Nevertheless when you live in London for more than a year you'll realise shortly that this is the 'glossy' side of London. Rent is too high, studying fees are too high, living expenses are beyond high and traveling expenses are ridiculously high. You'll probably wonder in which criteria this conclusion is based on. I am Greek, therefore I compared Greek prices to British prices. Yes, I know this is stupid as British people get paid more than Greek people do. I, though, pay my university fees, living and traveling expenses with money coming from Greece. So for me, London is too expensive. Actually most non British university students consider UK, especially London, a very expensive place.

Londoners are quite uptight, gloomy and you will see many are addicted to alcohol. That was totally different from the mediterranean attitude and way of life I was used to. The weather has a lot to do with it. It's either raining/snowing or being foggy and cloudy. I remember during my first year in London when some people in the halls said 'It's so sunny outside!'. I looked out of my window to see the sun. Yes, you could see the sun, but there were also clouds around it. In Greece when it's sunny it's Sunny.

The most striking difference to me is the food. I think British people eat anything without really caring for the taste, the quality. As far as I am concerned this is blasphemy. :P Food is to be enjoyed. I love cooking and of course eating my mom's food! I love Greek taverns where you can go with your friends and family, talk for hours while eating without any rush. It's even better when the tavern is near the shore and you can see, hear and smell the sea.

I knew comparing two completely different countries wouldn't lead anywhere so I soon stopped. 

The problem was that I still couldn't imagine myself residing in London for ever. Well, I can't imagine myself reside anywhere for ever, but I couldn't even imagine living in London for ten years.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what London, what UK has given to the world. Especially when it comes to music. So many genres originated there or got their signature sound there.

I understand better now why even though I think London is a cool place, I wouldn't want to live there for a long time. It can be a bit 'too much' sometimes.

Why am I studying in London then? Because UK universities force you to study a lot. Because their equipment is fucking brilliant! When you study in UK don't expect to have amazing tutors that will guide you through your studies. A couple of your tutors will be alright, most of them will suck ass, but one or two will be superb. However you have to guide yourself through uni. You have to sweat if you want to get good grades. You're paying so you better put that money to some good use.

Plus when in London you are the first one to find out everything that's happening in the music industry -compared to the rest of Europe at least.

I have to admit that thanks to London my music horizons expanded beyond imagination! I challenged myself a lot and surpassed many of my limits. I doubt that could ever happen if I was studying music anywhere in Greece.

London gives you creative freedom; not limitless, but plenty.

The reason why I started writing this article is a panic attack I got this morning when I realised how much studying I got to do.
Well, I already knew deep inside. It's not that I haven't been studying during the Christmas break. It's just that my room in Halls is the only place in the world right now I can concentrate on a whim. When I sit on my black leather chair, in front of my black and white desk, in my black and red room in Athens I just can't concentrate.
I'm reading the same thing for hours without understanding what I'm reading. A playful sun ray catches my attention as it's coming through my shutters. I can hear neighbours shouting to each other from their balconies. Their chatting, gossiping, flirting. . . I know my dad is listening to his little old radio, smoking half a cigarette and drinking a tiny glass of his own red wine. And I know my mom is working on the ground floor -she's an aesthetician. When I'm studying in my uni halls room, I know it's either rainy or cold outside. I know my neighbours are either studying or drinking.

I know many foreigners that study in London and have no friends. They just go there to study. They don't go out or have fun. I feel really lucky I met the people that are my 'London family'. They're Italian, Spanish, Brazilian, Jamaican, Cypriot, Greek, Indian. . . I think the reason why I'm having a good time in London is them. Otherwise I would be a miserable misanthropist locked in my room all day.

Thank you guys!

Love, Peace,

and Coke Zero,

Lara