2020

Damn! 2020 is just around the corner!
In retrospect, this decade was extremely tumultuous for me.
It started off with me leaving Athens on my own to study Popular Music in England. It was quite challenging at first, as I didn't know anyone in UK, and it took time to get used to British accents and culture.
I was lucky to have amazing classmates in uni, with whom I created some awesome tunes. Then, I was blessed with my uni halls family, who became my ride or die and made uni an absolute blast for me. All the while having the support of my Greek friends, who have been -and still are- real troopers, never complaining or being impatient with me, considering I was -and still am- missing a lot of their important moments by being away. My time as a bachelor's student comprised of a lot of drama, fun, travelling, partying, raving, blurry moments, studying, performing and being creative.
After that, I came back to Greece for a year, and the reverse cultural shock was so intense, but again, I was graced with awesome people who supported me and who partied till we dropped with me!
My MA in Community Arts followed. What a roller coaster that was! Amidst having to move 5 times during my first year and struggling with the masters, again, I was supported by my wonderful London friends. I met so many cool people during that time, and my uni halls experience made me reminisce my bachelor's years. But this time I was more mature, and more determined to achieve my goal. However, that would have never happened if I didn't meet my amazing boyfriend. He was and remains an inspiration and a motivation to do better.
Meeting Clinton and having the privilege of being his partner has bettered me as a person and taught me to share, to be more considerate of others and more understanding, to forgive, to not hold grudges and to be more humble. He is like the sun, warm and bright, and I'm so grateful he's also my best friend.
Sometime after I completed my master's, I returned to Greece for over a year. It was my investment on myself. That year was enlightening. There were hard times, but self reflection is never easy. I cannot begin to describe how thankful I am to my partner for giving me the space to allow my growth, even if it was in a different country. Once more, my friends supported me unconditionally.
Then, I came back to London, and for the first time, I was an adult, with adult responsibilities and obligations. It would have been a pretty awful year if I didn't have Clinton, my London friends and some amazing coworkers. It ended up being more fun than I expected.
After my master's, I did a few jobs here and there, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I even did a short course in counselling, as I thought that could be something I may be interested in.
But truthfully, I have no clue. A whole decade where I studied and tried all sorts of different things didn't help me sort my ambitions out.
So, my hope and wish for the new year, and the new decade, is to guide me to find my path, and for me to start walking on that path.
To all of you,
Happy New Year! May all your wishes come true!

Γιατί δεν κάνουμε πια σεξ;

Βλέπω συχνά πυκνά άντρες, αντρικά περιοδικά, τηλεοπτικές σειρές και ταινίες, βιβλία, και τον κόσμο όλο να αναφέρονται στο ότι οι γυναίκες δε θέλουν σεξ μετά από κάποιον καιρό σε μία σχέση.
Μιλάμε για ετεροφυλόφιλες μονογαμικές σχέσεις.
Παράπονα τύπου: 'Όλο λέει ότι έχει πονοκέφαλο' και  'Παλιά το κάναμε κάθε μέρα, τώρα ούτε δυο φορές το μήνα' κλπ.
Μπορώ να πω ότι με εξοργίζει όλο αυτό, γιατί προφανώς για να μη θέλουμε να κάνουμε σεξ μαζί σας πλέον, υπάρχει κάποιος λόγος.
Ναι οκ, μετά την περίοδο honeymoon το πάθος λιγοστεύει και δεν υπάρχει τόσο αυτός ο ενθουσιασμός και ο πόθος (και αυτό μπορεί να ισχύει και για τους δύο).
Αλλά υπάρχουν κι άλλοι λόγοι που πολλοί άντρες αγνοούν ή δε θέλουν να παραδεχτούν.
Όταν αρχίζεις τα ρεψίδια και τα κλανίδια μπροστά μας, φτύνεις, ρουφάς τις μύξες σου και γενικά πλέον δεν προσπαθείς 'να μας εντυπωσιάσεις' όπως στις αρχές, εννοείται αρχίζει και αλλάζει η εικόνα που έχουμε για σένα.
Ναι δε λέω, είναι ωραίο να υπάρχει άνεση μέσα στη σχέση, αλλά όταν αρχίσετε να πηγαίνετε στην τουαλέτα μαζί, και να κατουράτε/χέζετε ο ένας μπροστά στον άλλο, μην περιμένεις ότι θα σε βλέπει ως τον σέξι τύπο που θα θέλει σαν κολασμένη.
Όταν δεν προσπαθείς καν να δημιουργήσεις ατμόσφαιρα και περιμένεις να καυλώσει μαγικά από μόνη της, ή όταν τα προκαταρκτικά κρατάνε 5 λεπτά το πολύ, γιατί να θέλει να κάνει σεξ μαζί σου;
Λίγη αυτογνωσία δε βλάπτει. Σταματήστε να μας αντιμετωπίζετε λες και 'δέσατε το γάιδαρό σας' μετά από κάποιον καιρό στη σχέση, και ειδικά μετά τη συγκατοίκηση.

Tattoo discrimination in UK?

So today, for the first time in ten years, I received a rude comment about my tattoos in UK.

A female came out of nowhere next to my face on the bus to say that my middle finger tattoo is satanic (pentagram). It took me some time to understand what she said because she had a thick Eastern European accent, but she repeated herself.

I was taken aback, because how the fuck did she even manage to see it from where she was originally sitting?
And also, who the fuck does that?

I responded that it's not satanic and then got off the bus. She kept on saying that's how she knows the symbol, as part of satanic imagery. As we were walking away from the bus I was telling my partner 'who the fuck does that!' -in regards to the rude woman, and then she approached me again, to say I should have had a cross (!) tattooed instead.

I told her that since I'm an Atheist there's no point in me getting a cross tattoo and kept on walking noticeably irritated.

Usually, I respond quite aggressively to these kind of unsolicited comments, but it's always in Greece this happens to me, so I was shocked to have someone make such an anachronistic and rude comment in London.
Even more surprising was that the woman was no more than 40/45, so a young person.

I get my tattoos for me, they're not public property to be commented on. People need to mind their own business.

Sex isn't meant to be painful for women.

Sex isn't meant to be painful for women.
If something makes you feel uncomfortable or in pain, and the person you're having sex with doesn't care, that person is an asshole, and possibly a rapist.

Stop telling women that sex is supposed to be painful for them.
Stop telling women that they exist to fulfil men's desires and sexual appetite. 
Stop telling women to 'suck it up' and 'just do it.'

Women owe you nothing. They don't owe you pleasure, sex or anything else.

Abortions bans. USA.

Following the news of the inhumane and monstrous abortion bans in USA, my heart is heavy.
Prioritising a fetus, a parasite (because when an organism is depended on a host it's a parasite) over a developed human, is unthinkable.
And since persons who can carry children have uteruses, it is inherently misogynistic to ban safe and accessible abortions.
Your religion or political beliefs do NOT give you the right to control other people's bodies, to force them to put their health and even lives in danger to give birth by force.

And if any of you are anti-abortion, please do me a favour and stay away from me, as I will not associate myself with those who support policing other people's bodies.

New house, new weirdness

Did you miss my housemate rants?

Well, now you're gonna get handyman rants (aka guy who is trusted by the landlord with all house related things and lives upstairs, who also has keys to our flat and rooms without our permission, who wants to dictate how we recycle and makes us keep our rubbish in our garden, who also has left his scooter in our kitchen for a month etc) on top of those.

Update 1:
So, last night after Clinton and I fell asleep we heard someone knocking loudly on our window. Apparently the handyman locked himself out, and instead of calling or texting his housemates (one of which is actually his best mate), he deemed it appropriate to wake Clinton and I up.
Not only did he not apologise properly when I told him he woke us up, he was also laughing.
Then he proceeded to go upstairs to break into his room and was banging and slamming to get in.
Needless to say I got so pissed off and restless I couldn't sleep until almost 2am. And now I have to go to work feeling like a zombie.

Update 2:
The housemates.

Disrespectful, not washing our stuff after they use it (we made the mistake to allow them to use our kitchen utensils), not cleaning after themselves, the guy of the couple never cleaning at all, leaving a mess in the sink, on the hob, in the oven and in the bathroom, especially after taking a shower. They also keep fighting and the girl is crying, which is very uncomfortable and upsetting.

Update 3:
So, apart from having to deal with the landlord's handyman being the rubbish police (aka forcing us to keep our rubbish in our backyard and constantly complaining about the rubbish), he now became the internet police as well!
The prick changed the router and the settings so Internet is restricted! And he blocked us from having access to the settings!
I am so fucking pissed off!
I had to use all my Greek mobile data and got charged 2 euros as well.
We paid the asshole £8 per room for wifi, even though the landlord has said it would be £2-3 per month, and we can't even use the Internet!

Update 4:
So, it's 12.30am, I need to wake up in 7 hours, but one of our housemates just came back from work and she's in the kitchen (our kitchen doesn't have a door) speaking loudly on the phone.
Sometimes I wonder, are people fucking inconsiderate or plain stupid?

Update 5:
The handyman knocked on the door the other day, and invited himself in basically. When I asked him if he gave any of the housemates 24-hour notice before he came over he said "Why should I?" I responded that our contract mentions that if he wants to visit he has to give 24-hour notice, as the contract states. He was adamant that that does not apply to him. He said he would have to give us 24-hour notice to come inside our rooms (!) not the house.
I am infuriated he is so entitled and constantly disrespects us.

Update 6:
When your housemates think you're stupid, but they're even more stupid than how stupid they think you are:
Yesterday, Clinton was in our room when he heard a smashing noise (similar to a plate falling on the floor) and our housemates talking.
He goes to the kitchen after a while and they're brooming. The girl looks at him with guilt written all over her face.
They say nothing.
Then, Clinton notices that they've actually thrown the bowl they dropped on the floor in the rubbish bin.
So, you think we are stupid and we won't notice you broke our bowl, even though you got caught semi-red handed, and then you proceed to throw it in the rubbish bin in the kitchen?
As if we won't see it?
And you don't even fucking apologise or replace the bowl?
Seriously man, what the fuck. We've been so nice to them, let them use all of our cutlery and they destroyed more than a few of our things, without ever acknowledging or apologising for it.

Update 7:
The couple brought the girl's child from Romania to the house. They said she was going to stay for a week. A week turned into 2-3 weeks, then a month. We asked them what is going on, why is the girl still in the house and they got very offended. They said it was none of our business and the girl was going to stay in the house until September (2+ months).
We later found out they were secretly applying for benefits and trying to get the girl to go to school in the area. So they didn't plan on sending her back in September. They were lying in our faces.
In the end, their attempts failed, they didn't get the benefits and the girl returned to her grandma in her home country. 

Update 8: 
Amidst all that, the landlord told us he was going to put the house on the market. A month or so passes and he gives us 1+ month notice. 
During that time agency people came into the house without notice or permission.
Then, the landlord tries to rip us off and not return our deposit, even though we could report him because he didn't do the Deposit Scheme.
We got our money after 2+ months, and after pestering him. 
He claimed he got an electricity bill of 4k, and tried to blame it on us. 

Update 9:
We are finally out of there.

The ugly truth about working in retail - My story

I haven't been posting here a lot these past few months, and the reason was that I got myself a full time job in retail. And that not only left me with no time, but also exhausted me physically, and sometimes even mentally.

I can't say too much about what I did or where I worked (you see, now they even include posting on social media in your contract), but I can tell you how fucked up the way this industry works is.

The Job

Around October time I decided it was time to come back to England. The first week of my return my partner told me he found out about a temp job offered at his workplace. I didn't think much of it, and attended an interview he had arranged for me. I got the job on the spot. My supervisor told me I was clearly overqualified for the position.
Originally, my job was quite straightforward and simple, very repetitive low level position. With time, and due to my abilities, the tasks I had to complete multiplied greatly, to the point of me training and assisting colleagues with their own jobs.
I started working there amidst a big shift in the company and the implementation of new systems and rules around its operation, and thus, a transitional period that found employees who had been there long before me struggling.
Me coming with fresh eyes and unaware of the past, along with my qualifications, meant I could adapt very quickly, which led to my job role entailing way more than I had been told at first, without an increase in my salary.

And it wasn't just me. A lot of people were required to do a lot more than they were paid for, but I will talk about that in a second.

The People

When I first started, everyone in my team was really sweet and kind to me. They were all so helpful and willing to respond to any of my queries. A few of my colleagues warned me against certain people on the first day though, and that left a very sour taste in my mouth.
With time I discovered a lot of the sweetness and kindness were an act. People wanted to make a good first impression. But as time passed I found myself involved in petty drama that I couldn't even fathom. Certain people didn't like my mediterranean temperament, or the music I listen to, or criticised the way I did my job (even though my superiors praised me constantly), or even what and how much I had for lunch.
A few of my colleagues even complained about me to my supervisor. Even colleagues I thought I was 'work-friends' with. My voice was too loud, I didn't remain quiet when someone talked down on me, and sometimes I used the word 'fuck.' And even though some of my colleagues could be loud as well, or sweared too, maybe it was the fact that I was not intimidated by anyone, ever, that irked them the most.
Thankfully, there were also kind and reasonable people working with me, and it was thanks to them, I had an overall positive experience.

The Company

From what I had heard, the company used to be a very positive environment to work at, and took good care of its staff. However, after it was acquired by a larger corporation, and then, after a new CEO was appointed, things started going downhill.
Mass redundancies, a plethora of job role changes, zero employee consideration, less worker rights, new rules, more rules, more technicalities, and a lot less logic or cohesion.
One of the most frustrating things was that the vast majority of higher ups had absolutely no clue of how the business operated. They supposedly knew how to manage us all (and shout commands and demands), but they did not know what our jobs entailed, or how, practically, things got done.
Therefore, us 'lower level' staff had to constantly explain certain processes and even demonstrate, for them to be content and leave us alone.
Moreover, due to all the redundancies, current staff had to take on the roles of the people made redundant, without a salary increase or a bonus, which meant you got paid the same, but had to do a lot more. And that seemed to be a pattern within the company.
I am not going to go into how disorganised and unreasonable the way the company operates was, as I'm sure that is a common denominator in many companies.

The Threat

One day, my supervisor told me to go to my manager's office. There, there was my manager and another person. They told me there was this great opportunity for me, the Head of Operations had handpicked me and created a position just for me. It would be great for me, provide me with experience and knowledge in so many other things, and help me to evolve professionally.
I was very flattered, but also felt something was a bit off. My manager was really pushing for me to take this job. I was given less than 24 hours to give a response, but then had no one approach me to request my response.
I wrote down a list of questions in regards to the position, and two days later my manager arranged for a meeting for us to discuss the details. Bottom line was that this position, which was newly created (and I would be the first person to ever have it if I accepted), entailed a lot more roles and tasks than the position I was currently holding, yet the salary was the same. They also wanted to keep my contract and my job role the same, and if after my temp contract expired they wanted to offer me a permanent position, only then the job role would change on the contract, but the salary would remain the same. On top of that they would expect me to work on weekends, which was something I didn't have to do before.
As you may expect, I very kindly declined the position. There was no reason for me to take a job with more responsibilities and change departments for such little money. Two days after I declined the position my manager wanted to talk to me. We had a private conversation and I was basically told that if I didn't accept this new position, my contract would not be renewed as we had agreed upon. My contract was supposed to be extended for 3 more months. I very calmly explained that that was blackmail and I would not succumb to threats. Both my supervisor and my manager had told me for months that my contract would be extended. HR was aware of that fact as well. Funny thing was, most of our HR staff had been made redundant, and the HR person who had been in charge of my case did not work for the company anymore.
So, even though I explicitly told my manager if my contract wasn't renewed I would take action and seek justice, I knew that would be extremely hard to do, as it would be my word against a whole company.


...To be continued...

Colleague's infuriating entitlement

When people feel uncomfortable they usually turn into spoiled children. Or even worse, aggressive adults.

It takes someone who self-reflects and constantly works on themselves to face and move past their discomfort.

But that someone is not my colleague.

Yesterday, there was a conversation at work about a colleague who goes hunting. The conversation was instigated by an older lady (who loves drama). She knew I would respond, not only because I am a vegetarian, but also, because I love animals.

And I did respond, jokingly. I made comical exaggerated loud declarations against hunting, laughing. I mentioned the cognitive dissonance that is loving animals, but also not only eating them, but hunting them. Indeed, I am against hunting, but I recognised work isn't the place to talk about it seriously.

At the time, I was laughing, my co-workers were laughing... But our team leader stepped in to say that talking about dietary preferences is taboo and we shouldn't talk about it. I explained that I was joking, and of course, I accept everyone's dietary preferences regardless of whether I agree with them or not.
I didn't make anything of it, and no one showed to be uncomfortable or offended.

Now, the colleague I was joking with (or so I thought) is a person that has confided in me, a person who I have good banter with, teasing each other; but he also makes inappropriate jokes, and more than often misogynistic, homophobic, and overall, politically incorrect remarks. During these 'jokes,' I have politely -or using humour- tried to show him he needs to stop. Meaning, we were on that level of familiarity.

Today, sometime after I arrived at work, my team leader had a meeting with all of us, asking us to respect each other's preferences, and not bully each other. Extremely surprised, I asked if he was referring to me and my colleague, and looked at my colleague and asked him 'You know we were joking yesterday, right?' My colleague looked away, and right then I knew something was wrong.

My team leader spoke to me in private to inform me my colleague filed a complaint, because he felt the previous day the volume of my voice was offensive.
Mind you, I am a mediterranean woman, and that means I speak loudly, especially when I'm joking. And all my colleagues know and have experienced that multiple times.

I was not only in shock, but I was also infuriated. My colleague, a 59 year old man, snitched me to our team leader, and didn't even try to speak with me or express his discomfort before talking to my superior. The betrayal. He pretended to not have any issue with me, and then, immediately after he left work, he texted the team leader to complain, and even threatened to contact our manager. The hypocrisy. I'm lucky the team leader is a reasonable person or else I would be in serious trouble.

The irony and unfairness of it all...
The colleague who makes politically incorrect 'jokes' was offended by the volume of my voice, when I'm the one of two people in that department who actually care about social issues and being mindful of others.

I have been told that my colleague has shouted at women at work, called them idiots e.t.c. Yet, he was offended by the 'volume' of my voice.

How privileged can you be, and how entitled, that you feel 'threatened' by a mere joke that makes you feel uncomfortable -even though no one's insulting you-, when you're constantly offending every marginalised social group without a second thought?

How immature can you be to create drama at your workplace, for what?

Another colleague mentioned that I may have spoken some truth, which made him feel uncomfortable, and so he felt he had to attack me in some way. By putting me in a position where he shows his power, by punishing me for challenging his core beliefs and possibly making him feel guilty for his actions.

As if it's anyone else's fault but his if he cannot live his life in harmony between his beliefs and his actions.
Isn't it nice to be able to pin all your mistakes on others, and deflect, turning your guilt into toxic behaviour that hurts others?

A co-worker I'm close with pointed out it was the fact that a female raised her voice at him (or so he thought) that infuriated him.

Who knows...

All I know is I'm keeping my distance and blocking being engulfed in this kind of negative energy.

2018

Άλλη μια χρονιά τελειώνει, ένα νέο ξεκίνημα αρχίζει.

Φέτος δε θα γράψω ολόκληρο κατεβατό για το χρόνο που έφυγε.

Το 2018 ήταν κάτι παραπάνω από υποφερτό. Ειδικά σε σχέση με το 2016 και το 2017.

Οπότε για το 2019 ελπίζω να είναι εξίσου υποφερτό, ή και λίγο καλύτερο.

Καλή χρονιά σε όλ@ς μας!