Mysticismlover is changing

Dear readers,

We have been together for a long time, for over 15 years now.

We have laughed together, we have cried together... You have offered companionship; you have offered solidarity; you have let me know this blog was seen and appreciated. And for that, I am always grateful.

As the world has become a rather dark and scary place, I found myself censoring what I posted online. I had to use specific terminology to not get banned from certain platforms. I started making videos and photos private, or deleting them entirely, to avoid my posts being used for AI training, and to prevent my image being stored on facial recognition databases. I'm probably too late, but I am trying my best. 

I have been in the process of de-Googling my life, and being more aware regarding online (and offline) privacy. Sadly, when you have been online for as long as I have, it's impossible to fully protect yourself and escape the machine. My online journey started in times that were more innocent, and I was rather naïve, not grasping the severity and implications of having an online presence. 

I'm not sure any of us could have predicted where things were headed at, even though 1984 and Brave New World did warn us. But who would have thought dystopic novels would have foretold the future? 

Having to censor myself and hide truly hurt me. They hurt me as a person, and as an artist. I want to be able to create and share without restrictions. I want to be able to create and share without fear. Alas, that is impossible right now. 

If you follow me on any of my other Mysticismlover social media platforms, you may have noticed the change. A lot of content is gone, or is now friends-only/followers-only. All my Mysticismlover social media, apart from accounts on creative platforms have been set to private. Either I don't post anymore, or I only post on platforms where I know most of my followers. I am afraid it will get worse. I will continue removing content or ensuring it is only available to people whom I personally know. It's a long and draining process, but it is important for my safety. However, I will always allow some content to publicly exist online. 

I'm not proud of this change, and it is something I am constantly self-reflecting upon. I am looking into options for sharing content in ways that don't compromise my safety and privacy. In the meantime, I will either remain silent, post relatively 'safe' content or for friends/followers-only, and focus on my professional creative projects. 

Mysticismlover is my online identity. One I have cultivated for a very long time. It holds memories, both good and bad, and has shaped me and my offline life in ways I would have never expected it to. So, having to restrict that identity is something I'm doing with a heavy heart. 

I'm still here; I'm still critically thinking and analysing what's going on; I'm still creating. Even if my online presence is shifting, my offline presence is not. I'm still Mysticismlover. 

Thank you.
<3

Mysticismlover does Wordpress

I recently found out that I am being targeted on other social media platforms besides Youtube.
I'm not going to mention the whole Youtube fiasco again, it's done. My channel is gone.
However, someone is trying to eliminate my online presence for some reason.

Thus, leaving me no option but to try to get on as many social media platforms as possible, to ensure that my work doesn't get erased and my online voice silenced.

And because Google has proven to me that it's not trustworthy at all, I decided to also publish a lot of my blog posts on Wordpress.

You won't find a lot of the personal stuff I post here in there, as this blog is my sanctuary, and I enjoy that it's more cosy and less exposed. You will also not find product reviews and Hauls there, as I think my blog is more appropriate for those.
But you will find snippets of my art there and it also functions as a backup, just in case this blog gets deleted by Google.

Random Thoughts XXXXXXVΙ

The older I get, the more I realise how important love is.
To receive it, to give it, to transmit it.

Six Months

Six months of repression
Suppression,  no measure of prevention

Illness, stillness, subversion
No chance of recuperation 

Physical oppression
No escaping deterioration

Inertia, exertion
No hope for restoration

Random Thoughts XXXXXIX

Is there any purpose?

Is there any hope?

Each of us is only here for a tiny amount of time.

During that time most suffer continuously whilst not leaving their mark on the world.

They exist unknown. They leave unknown. It was like they never were.

But even if they were, for how long? Even if they live through a legacy, for how long?

There is no eternity.

Unknown.

Ignorance is bliss

The ones that possess intelligence and consciousness will always suffer.

Tormented by their realisations and thoughts, they will never be able to eliminate stress and despair from their lives.

"I believe in you": A supportive message or a source of anxiety?

"I believe in you."

The pressure of this phrase has been weighing on my shoulders since I was a little kid.

I know you'll think "Pressure? It's such a positive phrase!"

But really, is it?

What "I believe in you" implies is more like "I believe you can make it so, I'm expecting you to make it."

Therefore what it really shows is others' expectations of you to succeed. 

In addition to that that expectation usually connotes others' unwillingness to help you, since they have already predetermined you can make it on your own.

Expectations can be problematic; especially when coming from others towards the results of your efforts on any aspect. 

Expectations can be highly stressful and block you from doing things your own way and/or for your own sake.

Expectations force you to try to please those who "believe in you."

You feel you have to return to those people because they gave you that phrase, "I believe in you."

When people "believe in you", they are less inclined to assist you, presuming "you already got this."

Or maybe it's an excuse so they won't have to ask whether you need help or support.

Because if they ask, they're committing to provide any kind of support you may seek after. 

So please, before you say "I believe in you", question your motives and thoughts. Do not throw this phrase around without thinking beforehand.

Because to some it may be a great source of power and inspiration, but to some others it can be the beginning of endless anxiety and depression.

Random Thoughts XXVIII

It's sad you know.

When this world forces you to burry your humanity.

It's really sad.

Random Thoughts XXVI

You wouldn't last in my brain for one second.

Random Thoughts XXV

Grey is the new black

Random Thoughts XVII

Those sleepless nights,

when you feel you've been so used to his presence,

that you don't think you can exist without him no more.

Just a fracture of today's thoughts . . . (II)

"Time is passing by

Looking through my window

Leafs are turning brown

I am now a widow

Lost my heart and soul

To this tough reality

Trying to write a song

Doom, despair, fatality"

Just a fracture of today's thoughts . . .

"Nightmares, creatures of the night and she.
There is no other place to be.
Running towards a hope of exit 
But she can’t find it.
Blurry, lack of motivation

Wrong interpretation"

Autumn, leafs and poetry

I want him pale, so pale. . . like a dead body, like me.
I want him blond. . . maybe ash or fire blonde. . . like me.
I want him blue or green or gray eyed. . .like a creature. . .like me.
I want him obscure or even peculiar. . .weird and grotesque. . .like me.
I want him mysterious and mystical. . .unreadable and enigmatic. . .like me.
I want him fair and just. . .honest and sincere. . .like me.
I want him kinky and twisted. . .like an ill-minded controversy. . .like me.
I want him strong and dynamic. . .like a confident person should be. . .like me.
I want him open-minded and explorative. . .like a researcher. . .like me.
I want him dirty and pure. . .innocent and sinful. . .like me.
I want him artistic and logical. . .rational and real. . .like me.
I want him just and corrupt. . .cynical and impeccable. . .like me.
and the list could go on and on. forever. . .

Summer, sweat and poetry

It's the last time I will see you sleeping next to me,
the last time I will hear you breathing next to me.
I have to memorize every inch of your body so that I will never forget.
But how could I forget. . . 
I have and will probably never touch you, 
but I was watching you sleeping, 
I heard you breathing,
I felt your heart beating. . .
That is enough for me

Art -Photographs -Lomography

Random Thoughts XV

"To become and remain famous you owe to your audience to create an illusion.
They have to believe you're better, you're perfect.
To become and remain an artist you owe to yourself to be yourself."

Random Thoughts XIV

If I don't have a problem
then this world is the problem
and I can't handle that
so please tell me the problem is mine

Random Thoughts VII

Loving yourself is not a luxury. 

It is a necessity.

Παλιές εμπνεύσεις

Δεν ήμουν
Δεν είμαι
Δε θα είμαι . . .
Και στην τελική
Δε γουστάρω να είμαι !

-

I wasn't
I'm not
I won't be
And to be honest . . .
I don't want to be !


θυμάμαι ήμουν 16-17 χρονών όταν είχα γράψει αυτή την ατάκα πάνω στην τσάντα μου. . . μεγάλες στιγμές και εμπνεύσεις . . .

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I recall I was 16-17 years old when I wrote this quote on my school backpack . . . important moments and inspiration . . .