The disparity of finding pleasure in aesthetics

Aesthetics. Or more specifically, the disparity of finding pleasure in aesthetics.

Do we have to abide by the 'laws' of the aesthetics we find pleasing or are attracted to?
Or is it possible to entertain a certain aesthetic and celebrate only parts of it?

I personally find immense pleasure in certain aesthetics. I enjoy occult, gothic, witchy, dark, alternative, body modification, victorian and edo era aesthetics -among others.
However, even though I find visual -and sometimes auditory- pleasure in those aesthetics, I may not always identify with the ideology, beliefs and faith associated with them.

After all, I can entertain parts of the aesthetics that intrigue me, without necessarily having to embrace the whole aesthetic. 

For instance, even though I'm extremely interested in witchcraft and the witchy aesthetic, I do not believe in magick and its manifestation. I may even attempt to practice witchcraft to experience or to achieve a better understanding of it. Nevertheless, I do not have faith in it.

Does the fact that I am attracted to occult symbols mean they have to mean something to me, or that I have to believe in what they stand for? Or am I allowed to give them my own meanings, or even enjoy them as images deprived of any meaning?

I have tattoos of occult symbols and plan to get a few occult and witchcraft themed tattoos as well. To me they mean a lot on a personal level, and especially as symbols of femininity and feminism. But not as much as symbols of magick and witchcraft.

Does that make me a hypocrite because I'm not a believer, because I don't have faith in magick?

Many would say yes. And that's fine.

But to me, having a specific interest doesn't demand faith. 

If Lemmy (the late lead singer of Motorhead) could collect Nazi memorabilia without being considered a Nazi or a fascist, if he was allowed to have an interested without having to be associated with its ideology, why can't I do the same?

And I think I can. Whether it's witchcraft, gothic aesthetics, the edo era or anything else, as long as I am respectful and have an understanding of the aesthetic, its history and what it entails, I believe I'm far from being a hypocrite. 

(image source:https://weheartit.com/entry/165358841)

"I believe in you": A supportive message or a source of anxiety?

"I believe in you."

The pressure of this phrase has been weighing on my shoulders since I was a little kid.

I know you'll think "Pressure? It's such a positive phrase!"

But really, is it?

What "I believe in you" implies is more like "I believe you can make it so, I'm expecting you to make it."

Therefore what it really shows is others' expectations of you to succeed. 

In addition to that that expectation usually connotes others' unwillingness to help you, since they have already predetermined you can make it on your own.

Expectations can be problematic; especially when coming from others towards the results of your efforts on any aspect. 

Expectations can be highly stressful and block you from doing things your own way and/or for your own sake.

Expectations force you to try to please those who "believe in you."

You feel you have to return to those people because they gave you that phrase, "I believe in you."

When people "believe in you", they are less inclined to assist you, presuming "you already got this."

Or maybe it's an excuse so they won't have to ask whether you need help or support.

Because if they ask, they're committing to provide any kind of support you may seek after. 

So please, before you say "I believe in you", question your motives and thoughts. Do not throw this phrase around without thinking beforehand.

Because to some it may be a great source of power and inspiration, but to some others it can be the beginning of endless anxiety and depression.