Diarrhoea

My first poem for 2018! (can't we all relate after we ate like elephants during the holiday season?)

Diarrhoea diarrhoea
My anus fears ya
My anus fears ya
Damned to meet you
Got to greet you?
Don't wanna feel you
Gotta escape you

Diarrhoea diarrhoea
I cannot take you
I hate you, I hate you
Intestines protesting
Bowel movement protecting
Sphincter exhaustion
Shitty explosion

Halloween Song

Happy Halloween! 🔮⚰👻🎃

Here's part of my song 'Halloween Song' to celebrate:

"I think there is a ghost in my room

During the night it wanders

Dancing shadows creepy sounds are on the loose

I can see outside my window shining spiders

In my room there is a spot that feels too cold

Even when the heating works full power

What I’ll tell you might seem bold

But sometimes I feel I’m not alone

Even when in my room there is no other

Creepy, freaky little sounds

Make my heart pound even faster

I’m a helpless little mouse

Waiting for my own disaster"

And here's a LINK to the video of me performing it a long time ago!

Funny fat girls

I see a lot of fellow fat ladies thinking they have to be funny; they have to perform all the time to blend in. And so they force themselves to do so. It seems there is this notion that since we're fat, our only option to be attractive in any way is to be funny. Nope. You don't have to feel the need to 'perform' and be 'funny' because of your weight. You are a valuable, and sexy and attractive person regardless.

There is no need to feed into a stereotype "she's not hot, but she's funny." You can be fat and hot, and if you're funny that's great as well, but you don't have to force yourself to make jokes and entertain people. And for the love of me, you don't have to make fat jokes aimed at yourself to show people you're funny; to prove you can 'fit in.' I've seen many times fat gals making fun of themselves, to the point where I wanted to cry at all the mean things there were saying. You don't have to make fun of yourselves to be cool. You don't have to use horrible and traumatising language aimed at yourself to be accepted. And if the people around you make you feel like you have to do those things, then you need to kick those people out of your life. Lastly, please, don't let movies be your example about how you should dress and behave as a fat person. Media's portrayal of fat people is inaccurate and harmful. They play into toxic cliches and stereotypes that either ostracise fat people or don't give them space to be themselves to exist in society.

Looking-for-a-job Chronicles

I'd been offered so many weird positions/jobs that I thought I should make a list of them just to entertain myself.

So there you have it:

• old guy who's looking for a 'secretary' 
• old guy who wanted an assistant to travel with him to other cities (to have sex with him)
• guy who wanted a cleaner (with sexy underwear or sexy costumes)
• guy who wanted a girl to have sex with (offering a shit load of money if she hadn't been paid for sex before and even more if she had kids)
• guys who wanted naked models
• guys who wanted to foot worship 
• tram driver who wanted to take naked pictures of me (to advertise tattoos supposedly)
• guy who wanted to hire a callgirl
• guy looking for an oriental dancer (and he was also hitting on me)
• guy from Dubai randomly messaging me on facebook offering me to be his personal assistant (but more like a slave kind of thing . . .)
• guy who wanted my fb to see my pictures (he was also very rude), instead of an employee he was most probably looking for a girlfriend

*** Needless to say I have declined each and every one of them***