Random Thoughts LXXXVIII

How many more winters will I get to see?

I’m looking outside the window. I can see the garden showered with spring’s sunlight. What a beautiful day. Winter is now gone. Till next year. The passage from winter to spring was so quiet and discreet, I almost missed it.

And now, that leaves me wondering how many more winters I have left. How many winter-to-spring passages I will have the privilege of witnessing until I exist no more. How many years are left before I become an idea of who I was, a memory. 

Random Thoughts LXXXVII

Those lacking empathy shouldn't be leaders, because if you lack empathy, where are you leading us to?

Thinking about leadership, and how we (as in, humanity) are going through dark times of very obvious autocracy taking over worldwide, I can't help but wonder, is there anything we can do to get a taste of democracy? To create societies where equity, respect, empathy, education and solidarity can be the norm, instead of an idealistic utopia?

Random Thoughts LXXXVI

I think one of the worst things that can be done to someone is not being believed. 

And even worse, not being believed by loved ones.

Random Thoughts LXXXIII

Depression is 

forcing yourself to take a shower; yet, lacking the energy to lift the shower head to wash yourself. You stare at it crying, the overwhelming existential fatigue making even the smallest movement feel akin to climbing a mountain.

Anxiety is 

a relentless assault on your mind, dissecting and scrutinizing every perceived ‘flaw’ and imperfection within yourself and your life. You can’t stop falling down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts. Your body becomes a vessel of suffering.

Random Thoughts LXXXI

Το κάθε ένα άτομο ας κάνει αυτό που μπορεί για να αντέξει τον αβάσταχτο πόνο της ματαιότητας της ύπαρξης...

Random Thoughts LXXX

Isn’t it fucked up that the world we live in is so shitty, we constantly seek forms of escapism?
Be it food, drugs, shopping, gambling, adrenaline rushes or anything else, many are in a constant search for distractions from the life they live.

Random Thoughts LXXVIII

Self-love is not linear; things may happen to us which can make it tremendously challenging to practice it.
In those times, self-preservation is enough and it is valid.
Take care x

Random Thoughts LXXVII

When you share with people, be mindful they will project their own issues, ideologies and traumas on you.
This is worth considering before you choose whom to trust your personal information with.

Random Thoughts LXXVI

Three things I learned before I turned 33:

1. No one is special

2. Life inherently sucks

3. We're all going to die anyway 

Random Thoughts LΧΧV

In case you needed to hear it today: You don’t have to become your parents’ dreams and ambitions.

Περιμένοντας το νυχτερινό τρόλεϊ στο Σύνταγμα

Το Σύνταγμα μετά τα μεσάνυχτα μεταλλάσσεται σε μία εναλλακτική καρικατούρα της πραγματικότητας.

Βλέπεις από μεσήλικες πλανόδιους μουσικούς με ροζ τούφες και σκουλαρίκια, μέχρι τρελλούς που επιτίθενται κατά συρροή σε ταρίφες ή συνδιαλέγονται με το κενό, στυλάτους άστεγους, και μέσα σ'όλα αυτά τουρίστες που δεν έχουν ιδέα τι γίνεται γύρω τους.
Κι έτσι όπως παρατηρείς το αλλόκοτο σκηνικό που ξετυλίγεται γύρω σου, κάνεις φιλίες και χαβαλέ με άλλους παρατηρητές της νύχτας.

υγ. Ποιητική αηδία.

Random Thoughts LXXIV

Why are we so desperately and hopelessly attracted to dark personalities and emotionally damaged people?
Why do we find someone's inner perversions, and darkness so charming?

Random Thoughts LXXIII

It's tragic to realise that life's so shit everyone is trapped in escapism.
No one seems to be happy with the way life is, unless they use something to take their minds off of it. 

Random Thoughts LXXII

It’s not a coincidence how many movements and ideologies that benefit humanity (feminism, veganism, ethical consumerism, body positivity etc.) are presented as one-dimensional and catholic. Nor is it a coincidence how activists of any kind are generalised, presented through exaggerated caricatures.

It’s because positive change is feared -and more than often doesn’t benefit the ones in power- and thus, mocked or presented through a prism of malicious intentions.

Random Thoughts LXXI

The world we live in is an unfair, corrupted place where predators, psychopaths and narcissists have all the power, while the rest of us struggle to navigate our mere survival.

Random Thoughts LXX

We all do stupid things.
We all make mistakes.
The past won't change.
But if we live the present in the past, neither will the future.

Random Thoughts LXIX

Is it weird that even though I'm Greek I feel extremely disconnected from Greek reality?I cannot relate to most Greek traditions, parts of Greek culture and Greek societal norms. Everytime I go back to Greece I feel like an alien.

Random Thoughts LXVIII

Feeling quite blue today...

I don't know, it seems that every time I take a few steps forward towards improving my life -and my health- something happens that pushes me back.

It took such a long time -due to my ill health- to finish my masters degree. After struggling and fighting for so long, I made it.
Then, I managed to find a place to live and I got myself a job. Isn't that what adults are supposed to do anyways?
The housing situation especially affected my health -severely. The job was fine -most of the time- even though I was underpaid.
But in the end, all sorts of horrific things came to my life at the same time -as always timing is extremely fucked up in my life-, awaking some old buried phantoms of the past as well.

It's not easy to fight everything at once and all the time. And it's even harder when most people don't know your struggles and suffering and have certain expectations from you, or misconceptions of you.

Which is why this past year I decided to drop the weight of others' expectations completely. For once in my life I am being selfish.

I've tried to do that many times in the past, but I had failed.

This time, I had no other choice. My survival instincts kicked in and I prioritised myself.
Because I had to.

Random Thoughts LXVII

I always feel like I'm getting more and more tired of life.
But then I look back on my posts and I see that I've been equally tired since a long time ago.
It just feels like it's all new or more intense, when it isn't.

I wonder, how flawed can my perception be in other matters?

For example, I already have an issue with my perception of time, and certain events. I sometimes even struggle to separate reality from fantasy.

But I've noticed that that happens to other people as well. Many of those people I know and/or love. Interestingly enough, most of them don't realise.

What if we all do it one way or another, having a flawed perception, one that cannot always be objective, distinguish reality, or follow linear concepts, but we aren't aware of it?
What does that mean for the world? The way it operates, the way societies form, and even more importantly, the way we seek and perceive the truth?

Damn, that escalated quickly to a philosophical debate -or maybe to a mere philosophical question...

Random Thoughts

All this time I've been numbering my 'Random Thoughts' posts with latin numerals.
Only thing is, I actually fucked it up as i never checked what the numerals were for anything above 10.
I thought you could just keep using those, but no.
After forty they change. And so I am left with two options: Ether go back and edit each title or use the correct numerals from now on.

As you can probably guess, I'm not going back to over 60 posts to correct the numerals on the title.
But I will try to keep using the right numerals from now on.

Why did I even use those damned latin numerals in the first place?
I guess I was trying to be fancy...(?)