Panic Attacks

Before I begin, I'd like to clarify I'm not a medical professional, or medically trained in any way.
However, I do have basic knowledge and understanding of psychology due to my masters degree, and I have also spent more than 10 years of my life researching and learning about anxiety and depression.

Recently, I've noticed a few people in my close circles -including myself- have been suffering from severe anxiety, which many times led to panic and panic attacks.

I decided to write down a few suggestions on what you can do when something like that happens.

But first of all, why do we get panic attacks?
As I said, I'm no doctor, so bare with my simplistic explanation.

My understanding is that there is a part in our brains that identifies danger. That part has been in our brains since ancient times, and to this day reacts the same way it used to react back then.
Only difference is, back then, what you perceived as danger was a bear, a wolf, or something life-threatening.
What causes most people anxiety and panic today is relationships, family, work, studies etc. Non life-threatening situations.

So, what do you think happens when your brain reacts to non life-threatening situations as if they're life-threatening? You get a rush of adrenaline, which would be useful to you if you were to run from a bear, but is not useful to you if you have a work deadline to stick to. Instead, it causes you a few very unpleasant symptoms; symptoms which most patients mistake as life-threatening.

Some, but possibly not all, of the symptoms you may get during a panic attack:
-Shortness of breath/hyperventilating
-Chest pain/tightness
-Numb limbs
-Numb head
-Tingling
-Fear of death/cardiac arrest etc.
-Shaking
-Teeth grinding/jaw tightness/lock
-Dilated pupils
-Nausea
-Dizziness
-Palpitations
-Negative thoughts
-Panic
-Crying

And here comes the question: What can we do to stop panic attacks?

It takes 3 minutes from the time your brain sends danger signals to the time adrenaline is produced. It also takes 3 minutes from the time your brain realises it was a false signal to the time adrenaline stops being produced.
Theoretically, you can stop a panic attack within 3 minutes.

But to do that, you must be quite experienced and know how to control your thoughts and your breathing. It can be hard, but it's definitely doable.

Yes, there is hope.

As it is very hard to remember how to deal with panic as it happens, it is advisable to rehearse how to cope with it while calm, so that your brain and body can draw on that memory and experience whilst it's happening. Have a plan (same way people do fire drills, or earthquake exercises)!

Breathing:

Breathing is your weapon and ally against panic attacks. It's the one thing you can actually master control of before anything else.
And if you learn how to control your breathing, you will eventually get control of your panic.

When you panic, you breathe too fast and too much, which results in too much oxygen in your brain, which causes the numbness and tingly feelings you get.

Always breathe from your belly -not from your chest- during panic attacks. Breathe slow counting to 4, hold your breath counting to 4, and exhale slowly counting to 4. Repeat and try to slowly count to 6 instead of 4. If you could even reach 8 or 10 it'd be great, but don't push yourself too hard.

What that does is telling your brain you're relaxing and there's no danger. Because if there was a real danger, you wouldn't be doing relaxation techniques, you'd run for your life.

Controlling thoughts:

That's another thing you can do to stop panic attacks. It's a lot more advanced than controlling your breathing though.
Basically, our brains are lazy and love to associate things. So, when your whole life you think negatively, your brain always falls into that habit whatever may be happening to you. Moreover, it associates negativity with certain thoughts and feelings (e.g. discomfort, anxiety, people looking at you, or anything really). And that can be a painful trap during panic attacks.
"I'm having a heart attack" or "I'm dying" or "No one can help me" etc. etc. are all negative thoughts we're having during a panic attack, which lead us to have even more negative thoughts that feed our panic. Negative thoughts derive from fears.
We need to understand that fear isn't always reality. Certainly not during a panic attack.
Your fear is relevant to the constant negative thought pattern you've developed, combined with the adrenaline rush you're having during a panic attack.

Nevertheless, how is this information going to help you?

Well, you kind of have to force positive thoughts into your brain. "I'm ok" or "This is just a panic attack and it's not life-threatening" are positive thoughts that can help you.
Also, try to expose yourself to more positive material in general (e.g. cat videos, comedy, nature etc.).
'Reprogramming' your brain to have a positive thought process will create positive thought patterns which will make it harder for panic to take over.
Of course, that is a long process and you have to be persistent and militant to see long term results eventually.

A grounding exercise:

There are numerous grounding exercises you can do to distract yourself when your anxiety starts building up. One of them is the following:

Look around you.
Find 5 items that catch your attention.
Then, try to identify 4 sounds that catch your attention.
Then, 3 scents, then, 2 items you can touch, and lastly, 1 item you can taste.

Lifestyle and Healthy choices:

Remember, we are what we digest. If you're eating a lot of unhealthy stuff, don't get enough vitamins, consume too much caffeine and energy drinks, don't be surprised when you get palpitations and anxiety.
A healthy mind resides in a healthy body.
Exercise, yoga, mindfulness, meditation: All can be extremely helpful to your mental health, especially if combined with a healthy diet.
Drink plenty of water and make sure you eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
If you're feeling low on energy and you get palpitations and/or anxiety, check your B12 levels, your thyroid function, iron and anything else that helps your body function that you may be lacking.
More than often people who suffer from anxiety have certain deficiencies.

Therapy, CBT, Counselling, Hypnotherapy 

See a therapist/psychotherapist/hypnotherapist, counselor... Don't be hesitant to seek assistance. If you broke your leg you'd go see the doctor, so if your soul and mind are suffering, you should do the same.
There are different types of therapy, and it's up to the patient to research and find the one they feel can help them the most.
Don't get discouraged if you are going through financial difficulties. There are always free options for you to get support.

Environment and Atmosphere 

It's very important to live in a pleasant and calm environment. That will help you heal and recover. Aromatherapy, music, specific decorations, crystals, plants... These are all things that can help you build a safe space where you can feel better.
You need to focus on yourself and your mental health. If you feel the need to remove certain people from your life or if you feel the need to remove yourself from unhealthy situations and relationships, do it.
Those who love you and care about you will understand. Those who don't understand don't really matter.

Research

Mind, 1 in 4, Mind our Minds and Samaritans are a few organisations/websites where you can find information and help.
There are also numerous fora and blogs where you can ask for information and even discuss mental health.

Useful Links:

• http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/stop-panic-attacks/
• http://nlppati.com/articles/end-panic-attacks.shtml
• http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/coping-with-panic-attacks.aspx
• http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/panic-attacks/

Useful Videos:

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9jmO6xwFfs
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoYnqvadurg
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA05sgCeQ1E
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZqHRCBx9qk
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B6YsOonAJw

There are thousands of videos you can find on youtube and articles you can find if you google 'how to deal with panic attacks' or 'how to overcome panic' etc.
Feel free to research and focus on the videos and articles that can help make a positive change on your life.

Extreme housemate horror story

During my last week in uni halls, and after looking for a place for about 2 months, I was very desperate. I needed to lower my standards and just find anything, otherwise, I would be homeless.

I went to a viewing that week, and I was offered a place in the house. I was a bit worried as there was no contract -which means zero security for me- but I had no other choice at that point.

After I moved in, I found out we would be 6 people instead of 5 -which was what I had been told before. One of the housemates, let's call him X, was away during the viewing, so they forgot to mention he lived there too.

I also found out that I had been lied to about who lived in my room before me and the situation of how the previous tenant left.

Less than 3 weeks that I lived there, one housemate's girlfriend moved in as well. And so, without being asked or informed of that fact, I ended up living in a house with 7 people instead of 5.

I quickly realised that X's girlfriend, let's call her G, was quite rude and always had an expression on her face as if she was annoyed by most of us.

I generally tried my best to be super polite to everyone, cleaned after myself, cleaned after other people, paid on time, contributed to bills, notified if I had guests etc.

During my 2nd week in the house, the pre-previous tenant asked me for her stuff from the room. I had never met her and I explained I threw everything away. She sarcastically wished me to 'enjoy the house.'

Right then and there, I knew something was off.

On my 3rd week, I got verbally attacked by G. She called me over the top, exaggerating, a bad fit for the house and a racist. She kept saying she doesn't feel comfortable in her own house (implying it's my fault), ignoring the fact this wasn't her house, but our house -supposedly. And of course she never cared that I didn't call this place my home, and didn't feel comfortable in it, because of her and X.
She admitted she had a bad day at work and took it out on me. I was calm and polite, explained what she did was wrong, and accepted her apology.
The conversation had started with the fact that there was drama in the house because some people were stealing food. And because I supported the person whose food was being stolen, let's call him A, she didn't like that.

She also didn't like that I'm not like the girl who lived in my room before. I later found out that girl was a very quiet person, who never complained because she was scared of G and X.

During the same month, X made some horrendous sexist 'jokes,' which resulted in the new housemate, let's call her E, crying. I supported her and told X off. He verbally attacked me, and left our group conversation on a chat app -where everything took place.
I was actually surprised E's boyfriend, who was also a housemate, let's call him K, didn't stand up for her.

I had stopped speaking to G and I was very happy about that. Not having to deal with her and X made my life in the house easier, almost pleasant.

Then, one day, as I was making my lunch using a pot from the communal lot, she said she wanted her pot. I explained this pot was in the communal lot. She said she doesn't mind people using it, but when she asks for it she wants it. I got pissed off of course and emptied my food into another pot, and then washed her pot and gave it to her.
She didn't like my reaction and started a whole dramatic situation.
I, again, was the bigger person and tried to defuse the situation. I also asked her what her problem was with me so we could resolve it. She claimed she had no issue.

During the same month (November), another housemate was rude to me on the group chat, when I complained about the horrible internet connection we had. Even though he actually had his own router in his room, which he only revealed after I complained. I knew from day one as I had followed the cables and saw they went into his room, but it just shows... Let's call him C. C is one of those people who wants to be left alone, and as long as he's doing alright, he gives no fucks about anyone else. He's also very grumpy and at times unreasonably rude to people.

During the same month, I was actually attacked by almost the whole house for complaining about how expensive our internet connection was, when we could pay half if we changed companies and packages.

Day by day I realised I was by myself. I had no contract. The landlord didn't care about anything but rent. I was alone.

E was kinda nice to me a few times. But she became closer to G and started changing her behaviour towards me.

The only one who consistently supported me was A. A is lgbt+ and we had gotten closer on those grounds, as I was the only ally in the house.

G and X are very homophobic and K was homophobic in secret.

The more I tried to not speak with G the more she provoked me.

Some of the things she said in front of me or to me:
-She doesn't like British people and feels she can't make friends in UK (I wonder why)
-She doesn't like people with piercings and tattoos (I got both)
-She doesn't like people who get plastic surgery (but said if she could afford it she would get it)
-She thinks people with disabilities shouldn't get as much help as 'normal' people (I worked with uni students with disabilities)
-She thinks gay people are unnatural (I am an ally)
-She thinks trans people who have committed suicide are stupid (I am an ally)
-She told me if she was fat she'd die (I am fat)
-She thinks I'm a student since I worked at a university at the time and according to her my job wasn't a real job
-She has said wearing makeup to work is stupid (when I was off to work and was wearing makeup). A few days later I caught her wearing makeup to work as well
Go figure.

Just before the holiday break, G and X had a huge fight. They were banging things, slamming doors and shouting. I had the misfortune of being their neighbour, so I could see my furniture that was touching the wall shaking from all the banging. I think X actually beat G up. And I didn't think it's the first time. All this happened around and after midnight. G left the house, and then came back and slept on the couch.
Even though they woke me up, I didn't complain.

2 days later, I was in my room singing around 8pm. It's Saturday. She texted me to say I was too loud. I told her that when she and her boyfriend made noise after midnight I didn't complain. She used excuses.
Then I contacted E, in hope of getting some support (since E and her boyfriend, K, make noise all the time after 11pm, playing music, singing etc.). She said my singing was 'wobbly.' Now bear in mind I have helped E practice her singing. She did apologise in the end, but still...

During the last weekend of 2016, X returned to the house from his holidays, without G. He had a huge party without asking anyone (it was in the house rules that if you have a party you have to ask).
Actually, G had told me once, when I asked why I am the only one who notifies when she has guests, that it's because: "We know everyone else." When I said I didn't know any of her guests, she remained silent.
Anyway, X and his friends got drunk, smashed things, slammed doors until 11pm.
C, who was in the house, and always complains when people slam the doors accidentally during the day, didn't say a thing.

Next day X brought more friends over to have a barbeque. Again, he didn't notify us. Thankfully, I was leaving the house for the weekend.

Then, I returned for the first time in 2017. I had gone to the supermarket, so I opened the fridge to put my food on my shelf. Someone had moved my stuff and had put a pot with meat on my shelf. They all knew I'm vegetarian.
I messaged the group with a picture of the pot and said I'm going to put it on the kitchen working space.
An hour or so later, I was in my room and heard X slamming doors, the cupboards, and trying to intimidate me with noise -as he did very often. He was also shouting on his phone.
I went downstairs, I said happy new year and then tried to explain what happened with the pot. He started shouting in my face: "You don't touch my stuff!" I tried to explain that I said I'd move the pot on the group. He then went on to shout that he wasn't on the group.
Again, calmly, I asked him why he is shouting, and tried to explain this was my shelf, and he was the one who moved my stuff to put his meat dish. He shouted "End of conversation" in my face as if he wanted to physically attack me.

Next day I found out he used my cutting board as well, which is on my cupboard. We're not supposed to use stuff that is on personal cupboards.

A few other 'fun facts:'
G told E that she didn't like British politeness and people saying sorry.
G is almost 10 years younger than X, and they have been together since she was 16 years old.
G was married to X, divorced him and then got back with him.
X was trying to be the 'alpha male' of the house, and he often shouted to the people who belong to minorities (e.g. me and A), thinking he's macho this way.
Both X and G believe this was their house, they felt like they were the king and queen, and the rest of us peasants. I wondered why they didn't rent the whole house by themselves since they felt this way...
X had displayed rude and demeaning behaviour to other housemates as well, in the form of 'jokes.' And if someone tried to hold him accountable for his bullshit he claimed that was "his sense of humour".


Around Christmas, X and G broke up. They still lived in the same room.

A few weeks later, E took one of my lunch boxes from my private cupboard for two days, and only told me after she had taken it. Obviously I was pissed off and explained that was not ok. She said she thought she could 'get away with it' because it was her...

Then, X left the house finally, but E started stealing my stuff continuously. C had his stuff stolen as well, so he moved everything he had in the kitchen to his room.
Unfortunately, my room was too small, so it's hard for me to do the same. I moved all my stuff from the shower to my room though, as my toothpaste kept on getting stolen -by E.

E, G and K kept making noise all the time, slamming doors in the middle of the night, having friends over without asking the rest of us, having parties and making living in the house unbearable.

I finally managed to give everyone 1 month's notice that I'd be leaving the house, and K got on my case because he wanted me to keep paying rent, even if they didn't have a new tenant after 1 month. Our agreement didn't say anything about that. E of course had to get involved as well. She turned into the new G, complaining constantly, even though she didn't abide by the house rules.
She told me off for reacting to K's absurd statement. I reacted in my room, as I was talking to my boyfriend, and she complained I was too loud and they heard I called them names.
Her and K played music all the time, came back drugged at 4am and woke me up (they made a habbit of taking drugs in the house), and I had never complained.

My health kept deteriorating whilst I lived in the house, and instead of leaving me alone they kept on pushing me.

A couple of weeks prior to my move G knocked on my door asking for change. After all that she had done to me, she casually knocked on my door and expected me to give her change. Of course I didn't give her anything. Then, at 1am I went to the loo, and on my way out she opened the door of her room (it's next to the loo) and smiled at me saying she didn't mean to scare me. I muttered 'For fucks sake' and shut my door. Her smile was creepier and scarier than a dark downtown alley after 2am.

Finally, a few days before my move G tried to "make amends with me" aka force me to like her... But it doesn't matter...

I'm out of that horrible place!