Morning Thoughts

So the person who cleans our flat is having another tantrum today, banging the hoover on the floor, slamming doors and making as much noise as she possibly can. Many times when she's having a bad day she will make noise on purpose, knowing that some of us sleep, and/or she won't clean properly (actually, she never cleans properly). She's a great example of a person who wants to ruin someone else's day because she's not happy.
I've been observing for years, that many of the people I randomly encounter on the street/shops/public transport/etc. have the same mentality as her: "Since I hate my life or since I'm having a bad day, I will take it out on other people -even if they have nothing to do with my situation- or I will try to make other people miserable because no one should be happier than me."
This mentality and behaviour is one of the most harmful elements in human thought and behaviour in my opinion. Because it perpetuates misery and recycles negativity, hate and aggression. But this also stems from the inability of humans to recognise their true enemies. The person whom you took your anger out on the tube isn't your enemy. That person isn't responsible for your misery. You are responsible for your misery, and possibly the system, economy etc. So to target a random individual is harmful and irrational. I'm not saying that people can't piss you off. Of course, they can. And sometimes you do have to tell people off on the tube, in a shop etc. if they're doing something that disrespects you, hurts you or obstructs you from what you are doing. But that is very different to taking out other issues you have on random people.

This is an open letter to all the "feminists" and "activists" who have verbally abused me online:

To say that white people can never be part of a minority is extremely ignorant. Also whiteness isn't an absolute indicator of one's origins.
I'm sick and tired of people saying: "You're a straight cis white female, you have no right to talk about racism, gender etc". Guess what...
You don't know me. You have no right to make assumptions about me. You -falsely- presume what kind of person -you think- I am or what kind of experiences I have had.
Well, you guessed wrong.

The fact that in your eyes I'm a straight cis white female doesn't entitle you to mistreat me nor to shut me up.

What is whiteness? What does it represent?
Yes, I am pale as fuck. However, I come from Greece. Greece is a mediterranean/balkanian country with a variety of oriental influences. Did you know that I have been bullied for being pale because people didn't believe that I was a "real" Greek? Did you know that I received racism throughout my life for not being darker? No? Then stop making assumptions.
(When I complained to a 'feminist' page's moderators about the abuse I was receiving, they couldn't assist me because I don't come from a minority. But I'm a Greek woman living in London!)

What does being straight mean? What does it represent?
Yes, I have a boyfriend (that doesn't really tell you much about my sexual orientation btw). However, did you know that for the biggest part of my life everyone presumed I was a lesbian due to my appearance and behaviour and that I was on the receiving end of horrendous comments and behaviours?
Oh, you didn't know that? Then maybe you should stop making assumptions.

What does being cisgender mean? What does it represent?
Yes, I was born female, I look like a female and I -for the most part of it- identify as a female today. However, did you know that for a big part of my life I was suffering from gender dysphoria because I identified as gender neutral?
Oh, you didn't know that? Then maybe you should stop making assumptions then.

Moreover, apart from being straight, cis and white in your eyes, you should also see I am fat (as it's not very easy to hide that anyway).
Do you know how much fat phobia and fat shaming I had to put up with? Or maybe you choose to ignore this, you choose to ignore anything that can prove that I can suffer too, despite being a "straight cis white female".

Something that no one ever thinks about and no one mentions:
I have been suffering from mental illness since I was a child. Do you have any fucking clue what that means? The trauma, the confusion, the tremendous difficulties in surviving as a person who suffers from mental illness.
But I guess you presumed I'm mentally healthy because as a "straight cis white female" I have no right to suffer, right? Well, guess again.

I'm not saying that I haven't benefitted from white privilege. I'm not saying I haven't benefitted from passing as cis. I do acknowledge those facts. Nevertheless, to demean and devalue my whole life because of that, when you don't know what I had to go through is atrocious.
Especially when it's coming from so called "feminists" and "activists".
You don't know my story, so stop making assumptions about it.

Lastly, I shouldn't have to explain myself. I don't owe you my private information. I don't owe you my story to justify your respect.
You should respect me as I have respected you.

I have been on the receiving end of so much verbal abuse through pages that supposedly fight oppression that my mental health was put in jeopardy. I decided to step back from any hate filled page disguising to be about equality. Maybe some of you mistake equality for revenge.

Lara.

15 reasons why I hate summer

Seriously I hate summer for so many reasons. Here is a list:
1. I hate summer clothes and if I dress the way I want during the summer I'll die from the heat
2. I hate the sun and the light in general (especially summer sun)
3. I hate all those showing off their semi naked bodies
using warm weather as an excuse
4. I hate summer music and the fact that suddenly my fav djs take on the ibiza vibe even when it comes to dnb
5. I hate that my make up is melting and I look like an alien creature
6. I hate that I get sweaty and feel disgusting
7. I hate feeling the heat
8. I hate that in countries like Greece all services stop working during the summer (since everyone is on holidays)
9. I hate colours and for some reason during the summer everything looks extremely colourful
10. I hate tanning or turning red and I fucking wanna stay as pale as I can
11. I hate that the day lasts longer than the night does
12. I hate that plane tickets get ridiculously expensive
13. I hate that fruit, veggie, bread and other shit go bad way faster due to the heat 
14. I hate sweaty sex (aka summer sex)

And the thing
15. I hate the most is that everyone gets so fucking surprised I hate the fucking summer especially coz I'm Greek

On another note I hate beer, sweets and the beach too