Random Thoughts LXXX

Isn’t it fucked up that the world we live in is so shitty, we constantly seek forms of escapism?
Be it food, drugs, shopping, gambling, adrenaline rushes or anything else, many are in a constant search for distractions from the life they live.

Random Thoughts LXVII

I always feel like I'm getting more and more tired of life.
But then I look back on my posts and I see that I've been equally tired since a long time ago.
It just feels like it's all new or more intense, when it isn't.

I wonder, how flawed can my perception be in other matters?

For example, I already have an issue with my perception of time, and certain events. I sometimes even struggle to separate reality from fantasy.

But I've noticed that that happens to other people as well. Many of those people I know and/or love. Interestingly enough, most of them don't realise.

What if we all do it one way or another, having a flawed perception, one that cannot always be objective, distinguish reality, or follow linear concepts, but we aren't aware of it?
What does that mean for the world? The way it operates, the way societies form, and even more importantly, the way we seek and perceive the truth?

Damn, that escalated quickly to a philosophical debate -or maybe to a mere philosophical question...

You can't change the world

So, tonight, a stranger messaged me on a social media platform to give me advice.

Apparently he saw my comment under an article/post and he came into conclusions about how I live and how I should live my life.

His message looked something like this:
"I see you waste your time on things you can't change, letting them affect you and consume you. Why bother when you can't change the world? Just accept things are bad and move on. I apologise if my advice is unwanted, but I saw your comment somewhere and I took the liberty of messaging you."

I didn't respond to him, nor do I plan to.

Why?
You may ask.

Because his advice was unwanted and flawed.

1. I don't need anyone mansplaining how I should and shouldn't live my life.
2. He was a stranger, not a friend, not family, not a loved one. So his opinion on how I live my life doesn't matter.
3. But above all, he said that I should tolerate injustice (as I'm sure I know which comment he was referring to; it was a comment under a misogynistic meme). He said I should tolerate injustice, because I can't change the world.

Well...

Dear Stranger,
Watch me as I change the world.

I may not change it drastically, but I will change it -even a little bit.

Every person who reads my blog, every person who watches my videos, every person I have ever had a conversation with, I had an impact on. On some less, on some more. Nevertheless, the level of the impact is irrelevant, as what's important is the impact in itself.
Because that little seed I planted will slowly blossom to chain reactions that one day will cause a bigger change. Hopefully a positive one.

So, when you tell me that I can't change the world, I have one thing to say:

I already have.


Your trully,
L

The machine

So I was thinking the other day about the machine.
The machine being capitalism, combined with patriarchy, consumerism, and all those negative schools of thought that make the world we live in extremely uncomfortable for me.

But then I had an epiphany. We created the machine. We have created all those things that make this world be significantly shitty.
We, human race, created capitalism for example. And even though it was created with good (?) intentions it became corrupt, and evolved into a monster. 
And that monster took control.

The system is in control of the majority of people on this planet. Very few chose to obey the system because it benefits them or because they're scared. The rest are controlled. Mindless little sheep without consciousness, intellectual zombies. 

So, the machine has taken control. Since the system is part of the machine and it keeps it going. 

We created something to better our lives (supposedly) and we managed somehow to give it its own consciousness and power, which in the end resulted in us being under control.

It's ridiculous. 

However, the power of the machine is tremendous at this point. To the extend where it's extremely hard to escape being part of the machine. But then again, if you succumb to the machine and play by its rules, whilst trying to deceive the zombies that are controlled by the machine, you can be extremely successful. 

Of course that means you have no morals. But maybe you do, since morals are subjective. 

Who cares? When your survival is on the line, you do you. 

Or not? 

The eternal dilemma. You or the world? What matters the most?

Personal against global.

If I started studying philosophy maybe I'd have had an answer to my internal battle already. Maybe not.

Well, I just woke up so that's enough thinking for now. 

Good morning.

"Never Change"

"Never change"

I've heard this from many different people. Especially from people I've met for a brief period of time and we knew that we'd never see each other again.

Some people have applauded my kindness, generosity and empathy.
They insisted I need to always be myself and continue the legacy of good deeds I have started.

But recently I have had a change of mind.
For a long time I believed in prioritising others no matter how much it hurt my life.
Thankfully, a few years ago I realised that that was wrong and it made my life really hard. So then, I needed to decide which people deserved me prioritising them and to what extend. This has been a very hard process. Unfortunately it left me with a bitter aftertaste when I asked the question: "Would they do the same thing for you?" and more than often the response was "No."

All those years I have helped numerous people. With important and unimportant stuff. During hard and easier periods of my life. I had gone above and beyond to help certain people.
Very rarely did I hear "Thank you" from those people. Very rarely was there any type of reward, any type of gratitude or recognition, any type of "returning the favour." Now I know what you'll all think. When you help someone you don't do it to get something back. Some of you may even say that karma, the universe, god or whatever will return the favour to you. I don't believe in karma or god, and I've seen for myself that giving, transmitting positive energy and all that, doesn't come back to you. That's all bullshit told so people don't lose hope and jump off a cliff.
Life is unfair. Evil people succeed. Those without morals are at the top of the pyramid, and the rest of us are financial slaves, struggling to survive.

I have come to the conclusion that humans are inherently evil and immoral. But then, if that is the norm, wouldn't being evil and immoral be moral? Maybe. I'm no philosopher, nor do I want to be one, so that's something for you to argue and figure out.
But my personal opinion is that humans like to be superior than their fellow humans. They love controlling others and even have sadistic tendencies.

Also, humans are creatures of habit. If you're nice to them, they get used to it. Then they take it for granted and don't appreciate it. Whereas if you're always bad to them and you're nice once in a blue moon, they appreciate it more. Yes, the human brain is distorted. Or maybe it isn't.

For a long time I have also being doing "the right thing" even when it actually hurts me personally. But I always considered the greater good or being ethical more important than my personal gain, comfort etc. Did anything good come to me out of that ethical behaviour? No. Nothing at all.

I look around me and I see talentless people, people with no real passion, being billionaires -or trillionaires. And I see geniuses, artists, people with a vision, struggling to survive.

Now, I am an artist, I used to have a vision, and I'm inherently good. My instinct is to do good. However, I can't be successful if I continue to be the way I am. Because in the capitalist world we live in, kindness and goodness are never rewarded. Visions, unless they bring financial profit, aren't appreciated. Artistry, unless it brings financial profit, isn't appreciated.

I want to be a successful person. I have lived my life as a poor person, and I can assure you it ain't fun. It's not fun to always have to think about money. It's not fun when you can't even afford to go to the doctor, let alone go clothes shopping or enjoy any luxury. It's not fun to work your ass off and not get paid for your work, whereas your employer makes shitloads of money off your work (and still underpays you).

And here comes the dilemma: Do I change, do I become evil to seek success or do I continue to suffer in poverty?

I can't be evil. That is just the way I am. I can be vicious if someone treats me unfairly though. I can be vengeful. And society has treated me very poorly. So over the past couple of years I have started changing. Very slowly, but I am changing. That's what society does to you. That's what capitalism does to you. That's what other humans do to you.

In a world where everything is about money, where kindness and goodness aren't appreciated and sometimes are even looked down upon, your only option is to toughen up and play the game.
Because the game isn't going to change anytime soon. So it's either becoming part of the problem to ensure a comfortable survival or living a miserable life holding on to your hope that this world is going to change.

And I... I actually have zero hope.

Random Thoughts XXXX

I'm extremely conflicted.

On one hand, I strongly believe there is absolutely no hope for humanity.

On the other hand, due to my character I can't stop fighting for equality and fairness.

It's hard to give up sometimes.

But what happens when -whatever you do- things don't change?

Core Beliefs

It's very hard indeed to challenge your core beliefs.

It can be tremendously painful to see that your core beliefs may be based on deception, weakness, brainwashing, lies etc...

However, if you want to be free, if you want to be your own person, if you want to avoid deception and exploitation, you need to challenge your core beliefs at all costs.

Random Thoughts XXXIII

So people need law to tell them what is wrong because without the fear of punishment people -supposedly- would just steal and kill etc (let's not mention that in today's society law is a mechanism that enforces capitalism, let's just refer to the old core of law before corruption consumed the human soul).

People also "need" religion telling them to be nice (exclude homo/trans/polyphobia, misogyny, sexism etc) because without the fear of going to hell or the fear of their soul not being saved or whatever, they'd just be assholes to each other.

I oppose both concepts.
I don't need anyone to tell me that I shouldn't kill, steal or hurt another creature.
I don't need someone to threaten me to be nice and decent.
I don't believe in law and I don't believe in religion. I do what I believe is right, always respecting myself and others.

And I call that common sense.

So, if you don't have common sense, and you need either law or religion to force you to be a decent human being, what does that make you?