Random Thoughts LXXXV - Art in late-stage capitalism

The art we consume nowadays is often produced by people who are not artists or creative themselves: people who didn't study art; people who didn't spend any time honing their skills or developing their craft... because they have none; people who don't care to educate themselves to develop their own aesthetic. They are people who have the money and/or the connections, but not necessarily artists. 

As a result, we're constantly fed art that was created with the purpose of maximizing profit. An artist craves to create. It is part of who they are. It is their life. It's not about making money. It's not about selling. Of course, they have to make a living, and they should be paid for their time, skill and materials. I understand. But, the initial reasoning behind becoming an artist is that you are an artist. That's the only way you can be. You have that innate need to express yourself via your creations. Sometimes, it's a compulsion even.

Since those who control the majority of the art we are exposed to are not innovative or creative, the art becomes part of fast food culture. No substance: quantity over quality. We must consume non stop. No time to reflect on the art, no time to analyse. No reason to: there is nothing to see beyond surface level. They don't care to challenge us. Their only concern is profit, and thus, they follow a safe formula to achieve it.

That approach skews our perception of what art and creativity can be. We didn't get the chance to develop our own personal aesthetic. Hence, we adopt whatever aesthetic we have been continuously exposed to as our own. We have been brainwashed to admire and accept bad quality art. It's all we know. Familiarity creates comfort. We end up asking for more of that which feels familiar. We are trapped in a sad cycle of being fed what we ask for, but then, we ask for what we have been already fed. And that applies to all forms of art, from literature to music, from film to painting etc...

The responsibility to break the cycle lies within ourselves, as we can't depend on those whose main motive is profit. The world we live in is a chaotic place; there is too much of everything. It can be difficult to navigate through the constant exposure to bad 'art.' It takes time, strong will and perseverance. Thankfully, the result is very well worth it. 

Nudity

Nudity is never vulgar. Nudity is art. Your brain may be vulgar, but a naked body will never be.

Sources of inspiration

I've been thinking lately of the things that inspire me.
Even though I can create -and have created- on demand, there are things that inspire my creativity to be expressed through different mediums.

When it comes to writing poems and lyrics, I usually get inspired by sadness, trauma, negative feelings and situations (either mine of other persons').

When it comes to writing stories I get inspired by any experience (mine or someone else's): negative, positive, funny, grim, mysterious...

When it comes to photography I get inspired by my surroundings or concepts I envision.

When it comes to drawing I usually just let my subconscious guide me.

When it comes to music I get inspired by my lyrics, as I write lyrics first and create music after.

When it comes to makeup I get inspired by other people's work, nature or specific themes, and of course, anything spooky and gothic.

But isn't that interesting? We use different mediums, a different language if you like, to express different thoughts and sources of inspiration.

I'm an artist

I've been thinking lately about my career and its future.

I've got a BA in Music and an MA in Community Arts. It goes without saying that it's impossible to find a job in those fields unless you got really good connections -which I don't- or are a member of some sort of union -which I'm not and I cannot afford to be.

Thing is, I've always been told in my life that art can never be my main income. I've always been told it can only be a hobby and the very few who manage to make good money out of it and/or make a decent living are the exceptions.

So, what am I supposed to do?
Everytime I've tried a 'normal' job so far, I've felt extremely uncomfortable and a few times it even had an impact on my health.
You see, I thrive in creative environments and I wither in non creative, boring ones.

Ask me to come up with ideas, concepts, lyrics, stories, melodies, scripts, directive advice, designs, images, vocals (and anything artistic) and I will do so in no time.
I don't have to squeeze my brain to be creative, as creativity is my natural instinct, perception and way of thinking.

However, put me in a non creative job, and even though I can excel in it, I'll be depressed and stressed af. (hint: which is what's going on atm)

It's so fucking unfair that there aren't many opportunities for artists and creative people to make a living working within the arts unless they have connections. Some of us are introverts and cannot physically be 'sociable.' Also, when you make it compulsory for people to be part of unions to work in the arts you're excluding those of us who don't have the money and resources to do so.

I got two fucking degrees in the arts and so far I have not been able to find a job where I can put my degrees and creativity in use. And it's beyond frustrating. I'm going to be 30 in a year and a half, and I still don't know what I'm doing with my life.

You know what: I'm not a 'normal' person and I can't be a 'productive' and 'useful' member of society (the way most people perceive those).

I'm a fucking artist. And I cannot but only be that which I am.

Fuck it.

The first 11 days of the end of the world

A Creative Writing tutor said us, writers, shouldn't share too much on social media. We should limit our online presence, for fear of how what we write can affect our futures.

And even though I, too, recognise that as a blogger and youtuber, as an instagrammer and a person with relatively strong social media presence, I run the risk of revealing too much, I cannot help myself.

Because I have a natural urge to create art and share it with the world. Now, I may have also shared personal moments, but it was always was the greater good, so that others who may experience similar situations, do not feel alone.

Or I may have shared my views on politics, and the reality we live in.

But as an artist, as a creator, isn't that what I am supposed to do?
Artists are special -and magical- creatures, people who can create from scratch, in addition to being inspired by what happens around them.

And especially in times like these, when political instability and irrational governing threatens the very core of our humanity, it is my duty, as an artist -and a human- to create, to act, to speak up.

I am an emotional person. A person who can empathise. When others feel pain, I can feel their pain, I can understand their position.

So, to see that which has taken place in the past 11 days... I am devastated.

At first came shock. Then, denial. Then, acceptance. Now, depression.

At 28 years old, I have no hope for the future.
I strongly believe the world is so fucked up, that it cannot be fixed in one, two -or even five- generations.

It took a very long time for things to become the way they are now, and that cannot be undone so easily. If I wasn't weary of copyright, I would share a few poems I wrote these days, but oh well. Maybe in the future.

We live in financial slavery, in ill capitalism, in cultural imperialism, in environmental crisis, in severe inequality...

The world we live in is controlled by an elite. And that elite will do anything and everything to stay at the top of the pyramide.

Not sure we stand a chance against them, despite the fact that we are a majority.

And that is because there is another factor that plays a role in this: the ego.
Which can also cause stupidity and people to be stuck up in their ways and blinded.

Good luck to all of us my friends.

Good luck to the underprivileged, good luck to the ones belonging to marginalised social groups, good luck to the ones who aren't brainwashed zombies and suffer due to the knowledge...

And good luck to us surviving by the rule of the ignorants, who -very unfortunately, make decisions for the rest of us...

London & Art: Failing creativity

Today I googled myself, and by myself, I mean my online self.
Yes. Don't judge. I just wanted to see what kind of pictures I have uploaded. Sometimes we get carried away after all.

When I ensured nothing shameful has been shared with the world, or at least nothing shameful appears on google search, an old blog entry caught my eye.

As I started reading I thought I'd feel nostalgic, but if I actually felt anything, that was annoyance.

The blog entry was about me loving London, London life, reminiscing my uni (bachelors) years etc.
I was going on about friends, parties, and having a great time in London. Mind you, the post was written in 2012.

Now, four years later, I just graduated from my masters degree, which took three long years to complete, and I got a job (for which I am severely underpaid).
I also have close to zero social life. Firstly, due to many of the friends mentioned on that old blog entry moving to other places, secondly due to drifting away from people (as you do the older you get), and lastly, due to my shit finances.

In the seven years I've been in UK, not even one day has gone by without me stressing over money. And that takes a toll on you. That, combined with the masters degree experience, which was extremely traumatic and draining -not to mention the Brexit news- left me extremely... tired.

Rent prices and overall cost of life skyrocketed, which left me struggling for survival. In the past three years, I cannot say that I have lived in London. I can only say that I have survived London.

Many of my acquaintances and friends in Greece believe that because I'm in London, I'm living the life.
Well, let me tell you: I'd rather be somewhere else and live comfortably. Because in London, unless you make over 30k a year (after taxes) you can't live. You can only survive. And at the moment, I'm not making a third of that. I'm struggling to pay my rent, I'm struggling to pay for food.

I have two degrees, and I can't find a job that pays well enough, so that I can live with dignity.
Because, as someone pointed out on youtube, art degrees are 'laughable' and useless. So, apparently, I should have studied something I don't like, just so I can live with dignity. But then, would that be living with dignity? If I did a job I hated?
The same person who called art degrees 'laughable' suggested I should have checked the Forbes list of the best paying jobs before I started my studies. To her, it's stupid that I chose to study subjects that aren't on that list.

But you see, unfortunately, I am an artist. Every part of my body has been dedicated to art since I can remember myself.
I was four years old when I started singing. I was fascinated. I would sing arias by the window. I didn't even know what opera was at the time. I just knew how to make those sounds, that I later found out to be arias.

Then, I learned how to write. My whole world changed. I immediately started keeping a diary. I started writing stories. In the meantime, I was reading books all the time. I started reading comics as well.

I realised I also liked drawing a lot. I always drew, as all little kids do. I could be good at it, if I put the time and effort. But, I loved writing and singing a little more. And since writing was something I could do anywhere, anytime, I focused on that.

When I was eight-years-old I started learning English. I immediately started writing in English. I was fascinated by how well English worked with lyrics and poems. Even though, I still wrote in Greek, both novels and poems/lyrics, I started writing in English a lot more. Today, I rarely write in Greek. Nevertheless, when I do, it is something I enjoy and cherish. I feel that different languages work better in expressing different things.

In my late teens, I was in a band. That didn't go greatly, but it urged me to push myself to study music. I dropped out of my Greek uni to come to London and study music. I wrote lyrics frantically. I sang, I recorded myself. I was happy. The singer and lyricist within me was satisfied.
But I didn't manage to make connections, as I am an introvert and suffer from performance anxiety. I didn't manage to make it big.
Therefore, music didn't work for me.

I started loving photography around the same time I was in a band. You see, the internet made it possible to share your pictures, and to see others' pictures. That was inspiring to me. It gave me ideas. It urged me to share my pictures with the world. Even if it was pictures taken from my phone. I created a Deviant Art page. It's not popular at all.
My love for photography -which I got from my mother- didn't lead anywhere either.

My masters degree helped me gain knowledge in the arts (theatre, music and drama among others) and management, in correlation to marginalised social groups (e.g. prisoners, persons with disabilities etc.) and how to plan, deliver and organise relevant workshops/projects.
However, as I lack people's skills, which are essential to work on this field, I didn't manage to get a job on that field.

Now I'm a notetaker for uni students with disabilities. Despite the fact that I enjoy the job, and I learn so many things for free, this isn't a post grad job. It's a I'm-still-doing-my-bacherlor-degree job. Which means I'm extremely underpaid considering my qualifications -and the fact that I work for an agency means they get a lot of my money.

So all of these years of studying, all of these years of creating... and nothing came out of them.

I have hundreds of pieces of writing that I've written over the years. I also have hundreds of drawings. And I used to have a lot of recordings of me singing, but many of those I decided not to keep. But I do have a few finished songs, recorded for uni, and a couple of performances. I have thousands of pictures I have taken.

In vain.

It's sad. It's really sad. But you may ask: How is this relevant to London, wouldn't it be the same if you were in Greece?

Maybe, maybe not. But at least in Greece I would be more comfortable financially.

However, the thing is, London is known for its art scene. It's known to be the USA of Europe. Meaning, it is the land of opportunity, and aspiring artists from all sorts of backgrounds and art forms come here to make it.

Or it was supposed to be. Or it used to be. But it's not anymore.

Take it from someone who has lived in London for almost seven years now:
London isn't an easy place to be. And with all the instability that the Brexit brought, the prices rising even more, it's turning into a very ugly place; a place that isn't very friendly to foreigners and poor people.

I can't even remember why I started this blog entry anymore. So, I'll stop here, hoping that one day, maybe, just maybe, I will be given the opportunity to live with dignity, as an artist, in this world.


-

Random Thoughts XV

"To become and remain famous you owe to your audience to create an illusion.
They have to believe you're better, you're perfect.
To become and remain an artist you owe to yourself to be yourself."

Random Thoughts XII

Music, Writing, Singing, Playing, Words, Literature, Poetry, Colors, Painting, Drawing, Sketching, Make-up, Tattoos, Filming, Directing, Photographing etc

 are forms of expression. Therefore ART.
And you know what?
ART is everything!
:)