2024. New year, same me: My thoughts on 'change.'

2024. 

I've seen a lot of posts writing "New year, new me" circulating social media. I've been thinking about people's need to change, or their need to announce their intention to change. If you feel there is a reason for you to change, it makes sense to try to motivate yourself to achieve the change. Maybe you're  reconsidering your approach to life; maybe you want to work on how you react to things; maybe you want to be a better person (whatever that may mean to you, e.g. becoming kinder/more self-aware/straightforward etc.). Whatever the reason might be, if you feel a change within is the solution to living a better, more fulfilling life, go for it. 

In my case, I'd say, it's "New year, same me," as I don't want to change who I am. I have worked – and I am still working – very hard on finding my true self and living authentically to her. Am I perfect? No. Have I reached self-actualization? Absolutely not. There's a lot more room for improvement and I got a very long way till I reach my 'full potential' as a human and a person. However, I don't want to become a new person. I am very happy with my core, my values, my ideologies, and the way I see the world. Does that make me suffer more than most, due to being 'very sensitive' or 'paying too much time and attention' to people's bad actions (whether targeting me or others)? Yes, 100%. But, the alternative doesn't interest me: apathy is a disease to me, and maliciousness is even worse. I don't want to 'change,' because I live my life respecting others, considering their needs, being empathetic and understanding to their circumstances (when applicable) and trying to do good, overall.

Do I think the world we live in must change, instead, as it is a cruel and toxic place to be? Yes, indeed. Solidarity, respect, empathy, education on social issues, human rights – to name a few – should be taken for granted, instead of many of us having to fight for them on a daily basis. Right? I guess, to me, that's right. Except, what I came to realise is that to some, that's not right. It's a matter of ethics and morals, which despite certain standards set and defined by laws and unwritten social rules, can be highly subjective. Therefore, there's not much I can do about others' ethics and morals, especially when the law or their environment allows them to hurt others without consequences. I can try to talk to them and/or disrupt their bad actions (when possible), but I can't be the one to punish them, or force them to change their ways. Change has to come from within or be enforced by the relevant systems, after all.

I'm going to leave you now, paraphrasing Arleen Lorrance's quote on change, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

2020

Damn! 2020 is just around the corner!
In retrospect, this decade was extremely tumultuous for me.
It started off with me leaving Athens on my own to study Popular Music in England. It was quite challenging at first, as I didn't know anyone in UK, and it took time to get used to British accents and culture.
I was lucky to have amazing classmates in uni, with whom I created some awesome tunes. Then, I was blessed with my uni halls family, who became my ride or die and made uni an absolute blast for me. All the while having the support of my Greek friends, who have been -and still are- real troopers, never complaining or being impatient with me, considering I was -and still am- missing a lot of their important moments by being away. My time as a bachelor's student comprised of a lot of drama, fun, travelling, partying, raving, blurry moments, studying, performing and being creative.
After that, I came back to Greece for a year, and the reverse cultural shock was so intense, but again, I was graced with awesome people who supported me and who partied till we dropped with me!
My MA in Community Arts followed. What a roller coaster that was! Amidst having to move 5 times during my first year and struggling with the masters, again, I was supported by my wonderful London friends. I met so many cool people during that time, and my uni halls experience made me reminisce my bachelor's years. But this time I was more mature, and more determined to achieve my goal. However, that would have never happened if I didn't meet my amazing boyfriend. He was and remains an inspiration and a motivation to do better.
Meeting Clinton and having the privilege of being his partner has bettered me as a person and taught me to share, to be more considerate of others and more understanding, to forgive, to not hold grudges and to be more humble. He is like the sun, warm and bright, and I'm so grateful he's also my best friend.
Sometime after I completed my master's, I returned to Greece for over a year. It was my investment on myself. That year was enlightening. There were hard times, but self reflection is never easy. I cannot begin to describe how thankful I am to my partner for giving me the space to allow my growth, even if it was in a different country. Once more, my friends supported me unconditionally.
Then, I came back to London, and for the first time, I was an adult, with adult responsibilities and obligations. It would have been a pretty awful year if I didn't have Clinton, my London friends and some amazing coworkers. It ended up being more fun than I expected.
After my master's, I did a few jobs here and there, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I even did a short course in counselling, as I thought that could be something I may be interested in.
But truthfully, I have no clue. A whole decade where I studied and tried all sorts of different things didn't help me sort my ambitions out.
So, my hope and wish for the new year, and the new decade, is to guide me to find my path, and for me to start walking on that path.
To all of you,
Happy New Year! May all your wishes come true!

2017

Every year I post an article around winter holiday season. An article on the current year that is coming to an end. And since it came to be a tradition on my blog, I will do it this year as well.

2017.
The worst year of my life.
I can't say that I ever had an all rounded positive year in my life thus far. There have always been extreme lows and downs even in my best years.
But 2017 was the first year that didn't entail any ups, any good times, any accomplishments, any moments I'd like to remember.
It's a year I wouldn't mind being erased from my memory altogether.

My physical and mental health were challenged to the extreme; I was in a very unhealthy living situation; a lot of my relationships with loved ones were challenged; I had to quit my job; I had to return to my home country and be cared for; I had to start all sorts of different medication with unpleasant side effects; I had to see many doctors and face harsh realities concerning my health; I had to come to terms with the fact that my decisions had an impact on others, sometimes extremely negative, even though I had no other option but to make those choices; and lastly, I had to accept that I could never be the person that I used to be again.

But apart from my personal struggles, this year, the world has gone to shit.
The situation in the Middle East keeps getting worse and people are losing their homes, their loved ones and their lives because of it; Trump is the worst thing that could have happened to USA; Israel keeps detaining and imprisoning Palestinian children; Russia keeps abusing lgbt+ persons; Brexit is the worst thing that could happen to UK since Thatcher; pollution and climate change are getting worse and worse and people still want to believe the Earth is flat and climate change isn't real; North Korea is becoming more dangerous and unstable by the day; the economy is utterly fucked and we've reached the ultimate "the rich become richer and the poor poorer" point in humanity's history; cybercrime has reached new levels; corruption keeps flourishing; far right and nazi groups are getting more and more power everywhere on the planet; natural catastrophes are fiercer and more destructive than ever; all sorts of terrorism is blooming, causing fear and being manipulated by the ones in power to install fear and discrimination in people's minds; rape culture, misogyny, sexism, lgbt+phobia, body shaming, racism, islamophobia etc. are thriving in real life and through social media; the quality of public healthcare is declining in most countries... I could go on and on and on, but then even 10000 pages wouldn't be enough.

Therefore, you can't blame me for wishing -and may I dare say hoping- for 2018 to be better, more positive, a year I -and we- will want to remember.

I understand the concept of time doesn't work like that though. Each year is a continuation of the previous one, time is linear. We have created years, months, days, minutes to make our lives easier. It's not as if each year is a circle, independent and separated from the previous years, and the years to come. However, I personally see time as a spiral, rather than a flat line, but this isn't the place to analyse my thoughts on the matter. Bottom line is, all years are connected.

Nevertheless, I can still chose to enter 2018 with new energy, new expectations, a new approach and a bit of hope.

Happy New Year everyone!

2016 - be gone!

So, now that 2016 is coming to an end, I stumbled upon a couple of posts from famous people saying things along those lines:
1. "Oh, this was a horrible year, but nothing great comes from an 'easy' life, so take the lessons with you blah blah blah..."

Well, fuck that. A lot of great things come to people with easy lives. Check the Kardashians, check Paris Hilton, check that stupid Poker player who is a millionaire, check all of those viral internet sensations who did stupid shit that landed them deals with big companies, check that dude who just narrates whilst playing video games. All have 'easy' lives, all are successful millionaires.

ps. Yep this is materialistic af, but I'd rather be a millionaire and a materialist, than be a poor mofo. Sorry, not sorry.

2. "Life is what you make of it."

That's some bullshit entitled and privileged people came up with. Say that to the people in Syria who have lost their homes and families; say that to people with leukemia; say that to people who have been raped; say that to people who lost their homes due to floods/tsunamis/earthquakes; say that to people who have no drinking water/food/shelter. It's all nice and easy when you have no serious troubles in your life and can be a 'couch philosopher'.

Yeah, I know these are both positive quotes and I'm being all negative and all, but I'd rather be 'negative' and realistic, than delusional. Reality is harsh. Life is unfair.