Random Thoughts XXVIII

It's sad you know.

When this world forces you to burry your humanity.

It's really sad.

Random Thoughts XXVII

I started wearing black when I was fifteen.
"It is a phase, she's a teenager", people used to say.
They also associated my style with the music I was listening to.
It was the transition from commercial pop/rock to metal music and darker sounds in general.
I started getting more piercings, wanting to get tattoos, wearing spikes, dying my hair black, putting dark make up on...
At first people called me a metal head. Then, when I started wearing long skirts and doing a more feminine make up they called me a goth.
I have never really considered myself as gothic. Yes, I do like all things dark and depressive and I have been wearing black for more than 10 years consistently, but does that mean I'm a goth?
I have always been drawn to dark themes/images/sounds, gloominess, depression and I'm fascinated by the occult. But still, there many other things I like as well.
At times I like listening to pop/r'n'b and commercial music as well. I like edm music too. I love dnb and couldn't live without raving. I like meditating, I like being happy and I also like cute stuff (excluding the colour pink which I hate). I couldn't live without partying and sharing happy moments with my friends. And I could go on and on. My life and tastes are characterised by antithesis.
Do I qualify as a goth just because of one part of who I am? But then again, who is only one thing?
I am a woman, a female, a human, a feminist, a student, a friend, a lover, a daughter, a poet, a writer, a lyricist, a vocalist, an artist, a thinker, a creator etc. So maybe I am a goth, too.
When people try to label me I feel extremely uncomfortable. Their labels can't define me, I'm too perplexed for that. I'm not an object that you can just label. Lara isn't just one thing. Lara is Lara. As you are you. And they are they.

Confessions of a Rotten Heart (6)

I like that I smell badly. I haven't showered in days.
I like that I look like a mess. I didn't care what I was gonna wear or how I was gonna look like.
I like that my eyes are red from crying and my lips swollen from biting them.
I like that I look so miserable that if I saw me on the street I would pity me.
I like that I'm listening to darkwave while crying for him.
I like it that my pain is so obvious and apparent that it can't be ignored.

Random Thoughts XXVI

You wouldn't last in my brain for one second.

Confessions of a Rotten Heart (5)

I was under the impression that my friends didn't judge me. Well, I was wrong.
I was under the illusion that due to my understanding and non judgemental nature my friends, the people I chose, handpicked to be around me, would treat me likewise.
But guess what happens with expectations...
They fuck you up.

Random Thoughts XXV

Grey is the new black

15 reasons why I hate summer

Seriously I hate summer for so many reasons. Here is a list:
1. I hate summer clothes and if I dress the way I want during the summer I'll die from the heat
2. I hate the sun and the light in general (especially summer sun)
3. I hate all those showing off their semi naked bodies
using warm weather as an excuse
4. I hate summer music and the fact that suddenly my fav djs take on the ibiza vibe even when it comes to dnb
5. I hate that my make up is melting and I look like an alien creature
6. I hate that I get sweaty and feel disgusting
7. I hate feeling the heat
8. I hate that in countries like Greece all services stop working during the summer (since everyone is on holidays)
9. I hate colours and for some reason during the summer everything looks extremely colourful
10. I hate tanning or turning red and I fucking wanna stay as pale as I can
11. I hate that the day lasts longer than the night does
12. I hate that plane tickets get ridiculously expensive
13. I hate that fruit, veggie, bread and other shit go bad way faster due to the heat 
14. I hate sweaty sex (aka summer sex)

And the thing
15. I hate the most is that everyone gets so fucking surprised I hate the fucking summer especially coz I'm Greek

On another note I hate beer, sweets and the beach too

Random Thoughts XXIV

It's so cowardice and unfair to not give closure to someone.
If you want someone out of your life at least have the fucking balls to tell them instead of ignoring them.
Stop hoping they'll give up on you. If they care they won't. So at least have the decency to let them move on.

I'd much rather have to face a harsh truth than a sweet lie

Random Thoughts XXIII

Marriage is the biggest human perversion based on possessiveness, insecurity, mistrust and controlling.

However, marriage is a huge industry providing numerous people with jobs, and it expands to all religions and beliefs.

The wedding day is a misconception of happiness, life purpose and general reality -unless you're filthy rich, so your reality is a misconception anyway.

Little girls grow up being told one day the prince will marry them, and they are gonna wear dreamy dresses and be princesses themselves.

Get real people. A fucking dress and a party -where for once it's ok for you to demand being the centre of attention- are not gonna make your overall life any better.

Random Thoughts XXII

Brutal wake up call.  

But will you have the balls to pick up the phone?

Confessions of a Rotten Heart (4)

It’s just that I’ve always been the one to support;

the one being there or others.

So when it’s me being in the receiving end,

I just can’t accept that role.

You know, I’m trembling right now.

My vision is a bit blurry,

So I had to take my glasses off.

It’s harder than usual to breathe.

I’m listening to all the songs I shouldn’t listen to.

I’m diving into darkness;

the void, despair and agony.

I kinda missed it.

Why do people let the monster inside them feed off their misery?

It’s enticing. Such an intense feeling can be extremely alluring.

So instead of being empty, you’d rather suffer.

Depression is a way of expression.

No Body Shame Campaign

People should stop judging others by their size. It's none of your business man. If you don't like it look the other way.

Also ffs women be nice to each other!
Most of the pressure towards women being skinny comes from other women, not men!!!!!

I have been asked many times how can I be so confident, being a curvier girl and all.
It's because:
1. I don't care what others think
2. I don't compare myself to others, everyone is special, different and unique
3. I know people are not perfect and don't try to be perfect or fit in any stereotypes
4. I think everyone can be sexy and also do believe curves can be sexy too
5. I only wear what makes me feel good and never compromise to a stylistic choice that won't suit my aesthetics just because of my body type
6. I know anyone who tries to bully me, attack me or judge me for my weight is probably a mean person with no life, low self esteem, and personal issues -coz why would you try to make someone feel bad otherwise?
7. I fucking love myself and would clone me and fuck me if I could

So please, never ever ever feel ashamed! No matter how much you weight, how tall you are, your skin colour, whether you have scars or other marks on your body... NEVER feel like there's something wrong with the way you look!

Check this incredible site:

No Body Shame Campaign

Real Life Zombies

Today I once again faced the realisation that some people are not humans. They are not even people. They are just despicable creatures, brainless forms of miserable life and no reason of existence.

Be careful when you see them for you can mistake them for mere stupid people. They are not just stupid. They are destructive and miserable. Evil people who can be energy vampires sucking the life out of you.

They will try to provoke you. They will try to insult you. They will try to evoke any reaction they can get.

Give them ignorance. Do not recognise their pitiful existence. Do not feed the monster lying within with your own energy.
Do not let them disturb your balance nor stir your inner peace.

~Serenity~  

Random Thoughts XXI

And then you realised that you can't fill that void inside you no matter how hard you try to trick yourself into doing so.
Pretentious actions, virtual attractions...
It all ends the same.