03/11/2014

Random Thoughts XXVII

I started wearing black when I was fifteen.
"It is a phase, she's a teenager", people used to say.
They also associated my style with the music I was listening to.
It was the transition from commercial pop/rock to metal music and darker sounds in general.
I started getting more piercings, wanting to get tattoos, wearing spikes, dying my hair black, putting dark make up on...
At first people called me a metal head. Then, when I started wearing long skirts and doing a more feminine make up they called me a goth.
I have never really considered myself as gothic. Yes, I do like all things dark and depressive and I have been wearing black for more than 10 years consistently, but does that mean I'm a goth?
I have always been drawn to dark themes/images/sounds, gloominess, depression and I'm fascinated by the occult. But still, there many other things I like as well.
At times I like listening to pop/r'n'b and commercial music as well. I like edm music too. I love dnb and couldn't live without raving. I like meditating, I like being happy and I also like cute stuff (excluding the colour pink which I hate). I couldn't live without partying and sharing happy moments with my friends. And I could go on and on. My life and tastes are characterised by antithesis.
Do I qualify as a goth just because of one part of who I am? But then again, who is only one thing?
I am a woman, a female, a human, a feminist, a student, a friend, a lover, a daughter, a poet, a writer, a lyricist, a vocalist, an artist, a thinker, a creator etc. So maybe I am a goth, too.
When people try to label me I feel extremely uncomfortable. Their labels can't define me, I'm too perplexed for that. I'm not an object that you can just label. Lara isn't just one thing. Lara is Lara. As you are you. And they are they.


2 comments:

  1. thanks for sharing - yeah, people like to categorize you in their point of view. They have the knowledge and support from media (TV, Internet) were you can learn that people wearing black are always goth people ....
    Just ask them from where they got the information and than ask them what kind of people they are (most answer is "normal" or "they do not know")
    keep on writing articles ....

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