Those sleepless nights,
when you feel you've been so used to his presence,
that you don't think you can exist without him no more.
06/10/2013
16/08/2013
Do you love you?
I remember 5 years ago when I was hanging out in Patras' main square with a couple of friends a homeless guy came and sat with us.
He was a foreigner, too skinny, tall and he looked pretty dirty. He was holding a beer on one hand.
He started mumbling something about where he came from and his life in Greece.
The guys stood up and were ready to leave when he came close to me and said:
-I got one think to ask you if that's ok.
-Sure.
He looked at me in the eyes and asked:
-Do you love you?
I think I hesitated for a bit and then replied:
-Of course I do.
I still remember I felt so weird when he asked me. I still remember I wasn't sure of my reply.
And I'm so glad that today being the person I am if he asked again I'd reply the same thing without any hesitation at all.
I hope he's doing well, asking people the things they're scared to ask themselves.
:)
He was a foreigner, too skinny, tall and he looked pretty dirty. He was holding a beer on one hand.
He started mumbling something about where he came from and his life in Greece.
The guys stood up and were ready to leave when he came close to me and said:
-I got one think to ask you if that's ok.
-Sure.
He looked at me in the eyes and asked:
-Do you love you?
I think I hesitated for a bit and then replied:
-Of course I do.
I still remember I felt so weird when he asked me. I still remember I wasn't sure of my reply.
And I'm so glad that today being the person I am if he asked again I'd reply the same thing without any hesitation at all.
I hope he's doing well, asking people the things they're scared to ask themselves.
:)
09/05/2013
Looking-for-a-job Chronicles
I'd been offered so many weird positions/jobs that I thought I should make a list of them just to entertain myself.
So there you have it:
*** Needless to say I have declined each and every one of them***
So there you have it:
- old guy who's looking for a 'secretary'
- old guy who wanted an assistant to travel with him to other cities (to have sex with him)
- guy who wanted a cleaner (with sexy underwear or sexy costumes)
- guy who wanted a girl to have sex with (offering a shit load of money if she hadn't been paid for sex before and even more if she had kids)
- guys who wanted naked models
- guys who wanted to foot worship
- tram driver who wanted to take naked pictures of me (to advertise tattoos supposedly)
- guy who wanted to hire a callgirl
- guy looking for an oriental dancer (and he was also hitting on me)
- guy from Dubai randomly messaging me on facebook offering me to be his personal assistant (but more like a slave kind of thing . . .)
- guy who wanted my fb to see my pictures (he was also very rude), instead of an employee he was most probably looking for a girlfriend
*** Needless to say I have declined each and every one of them***
04/05/2013
46 days without meat and counting
Wow! I never thought I could make it this far! I'm very very surprised. I'm also very happy I quitted eating meat.
I still eat fish and seafood, but I will eventually stop eating those as well.
So how have these 46 days been for me?
Weird!
Sometimes I do feel tired and dizzy -but I don't know if this has to do with me not eating meat- so I'm taking neurobion (b2, b6, b12) and omega 3 vitamins. I guess I got to buy meat substitutes as well soon. I shall go veggie shopping this week and update this post!
I have been eating vegetables (daily), fish (1-2 times a week), seafood (once every 2 weeks at least), fruit (once every 10 days -I know I should eat more often, but I don't like fruit that much), rice (3-4 times a month), legumes (4-5 times a month), pasta (6-7 times a month) and I tried soya meat a couple of times as well (it was very nice!). Moreover I drink loads of water and even though I know I shouldn't I drink at least 500ml of lipton ice tea a day. I also reduced the amount of salt I was eating (it was salt with food, not food with salt) -however I had a little relapse these days, but I'm working on it!!!
Eating healthier, trying to control what you consume and what kind of products you use in general are huge steps into changing your lifestyle. You will feel better believe me. You could just try for 10 days and then decide what works better for you. However the way we're brought up eating artificial and junk food, breathing car fumes, living in polluted cities it's like we haven't been given the choice to lead a healthy lifestyle. So create the choice for yourself!
Update: 23/3/2014 It's been one year and a week and I feel great! I do eat fish sometimes though :) Research and believe me you will realise meat isn't needed in our lives ^_^ As a vegan bodybuilder said "put life in you not death." However, everyone is free to make their own choices.
Update: 4/2/2017 It's been almost for years that I quit eating meat and over 3 years that I quit eating fish, and a year since I started trying to be more eco-friendly.
Feeling good!
I still eat fish and seafood, but I will eventually stop eating those as well.
So how have these 46 days been for me?
Weird!
Sometimes I do feel tired and dizzy -but I don't know if this has to do with me not eating meat- so I'm taking neurobion (b2, b6, b12) and omega 3 vitamins. I guess I got to buy meat substitutes as well soon. I shall go veggie shopping this week and update this post!
I have been eating vegetables (daily), fish (1-2 times a week), seafood (once every 2 weeks at least), fruit (once every 10 days -I know I should eat more often, but I don't like fruit that much), rice (3-4 times a month), legumes (4-5 times a month), pasta (6-7 times a month) and I tried soya meat a couple of times as well (it was very nice!). Moreover I drink loads of water and even though I know I shouldn't I drink at least 500ml of lipton ice tea a day. I also reduced the amount of salt I was eating (it was salt with food, not food with salt) -however I had a little relapse these days, but I'm working on it!!!
Eating healthier, trying to control what you consume and what kind of products you use in general are huge steps into changing your lifestyle. You will feel better believe me. You could just try for 10 days and then decide what works better for you. However the way we're brought up eating artificial and junk food, breathing car fumes, living in polluted cities it's like we haven't been given the choice to lead a healthy lifestyle. So create the choice for yourself!
Update: 23/3/2014 It's been one year and a week and I feel great! I do eat fish sometimes though :) Research and believe me you will realise meat isn't needed in our lives ^_^ As a vegan bodybuilder said "put life in you not death." However, everyone is free to make their own choices.
Update: 4/2/2017 It's been almost for years that I quit eating meat and over 3 years that I quit eating fish, and a year since I started trying to be more eco-friendly.
Feeling good!
Peace
.jpg){kind=link}
04/04/2013
Depressed in Athens. . .
when there is nothing to live for
and there is nothing to die for
you're just drifting between existence and nothingness.
and there is nothing to die for
you're just drifting between existence and nothingness.
Just a fracture of today's thoughts . . . (II)
"Time is passing by
Looking through my window
Leafs are turning brown
I am now a widow
Lost my heart and soul
To this tough reality
Trying to write a song
Doom, despair, fatality"
03/04/2013
Just a fracture of today's thoughts . . .
"Nightmares, creatures of the night and she.
There is no other place to be.
Running towards a hope of exit
But she can’t find it.
Blurry, lack of motivation
Wrong interpretation"
25/03/2013
Seven days without meat and counting. . .
I don't know something has changed lately. I have changed.
It's not the documentaries, the articles, the campaigns that convinced me.
It's just my brain telling me I was so stupid, cruel and ignorant all these years.
Now I realised why PETA and people who support animal rights post all these cruel videos.
The reason is people don't get it otherwise!
They need to see pure violence and bloodbaths to understand what's going on.
As a hemophobic I keep my distance from the sight of blood.
However I suggest you watch the documentaries and posts of vegans and supporters of animal rights.
You will realise you are the problem.
We are the problem; and millions of animals suffer cruel deaths and torture because of us every day.
There is high demand. If there was no demand, animals would be free. And we would be humans.
I consider utterly hypocritical saying you love animals, and then eating them. Unless you got the balls to kill the animal with your own hands, paying respect to the life you took to eat, do not eat meat.
Going to fast food restaurants has destroyed us all. We are going to a place where selling dead bodies of tortured animals is legal. We eat them. I can't believe I hadn't realised this all these years!
I need good karma in my life and positive energy. Consuming meat coming from a tortured soul isn't good energy for sure. Have you ever wondered about the quality of life of the animals you eat?
Why do we let a mere desire -as I consider liking the taste of meat to be- to control our lives?
People say 'I like it". Well, pedophiles like raping little children is that right? NO. So, why can't we control ourselves and behave? Are humans so weak?
I got so many questions about being vegan and vegeterian! Where can you buy food? Is it true that you need meat to survive? Is it natural for humans to be carnivores (because everyone's argument for eating meat is that our teeth are designed for it)? Do you need supplements or vitamins once you stop eating meat? Is it true that the toxines found in meat are the cause of bowel Cancer? I will start researching soon, and I hope to be strong and stay away from meat for ever or for as long as possible.
It's not the documentaries, the articles, the campaigns that convinced me.
It's just my brain telling me I was so stupid, cruel and ignorant all these years.
Now I realised why PETA and people who support animal rights post all these cruel videos.
The reason is people don't get it otherwise!
They need to see pure violence and bloodbaths to understand what's going on.
As a hemophobic I keep my distance from the sight of blood.
However I suggest you watch the documentaries and posts of vegans and supporters of animal rights.
You will realise you are the problem.
We are the problem; and millions of animals suffer cruel deaths and torture because of us every day.
There is high demand. If there was no demand, animals would be free. And we would be humans.
I consider utterly hypocritical saying you love animals, and then eating them. Unless you got the balls to kill the animal with your own hands, paying respect to the life you took to eat, do not eat meat.
Going to fast food restaurants has destroyed us all. We are going to a place where selling dead bodies of tortured animals is legal. We eat them. I can't believe I hadn't realised this all these years!
I need good karma in my life and positive energy. Consuming meat coming from a tortured soul isn't good energy for sure. Have you ever wondered about the quality of life of the animals you eat?
Why do we let a mere desire -as I consider liking the taste of meat to be- to control our lives?
People say 'I like it". Well, pedophiles like raping little children is that right? NO. So, why can't we control ourselves and behave? Are humans so weak?
I got so many questions about being vegan and vegeterian! Where can you buy food? Is it true that you need meat to survive? Is it natural for humans to be carnivores (because everyone's argument for eating meat is that our teeth are designed for it)? Do you need supplements or vitamins once you stop eating meat? Is it true that the toxines found in meat are the cause of bowel Cancer? I will start researching soon, and I hope to be strong and stay away from meat for ever or for as long as possible.
24/01/2013
University Life Last Diary
It's raining outside and I can smell the rain.
Vanilla smoke all over the place.
I wanted to write for such a long time, but I couldn't bring myself to.
I wanted to write about happiness, success, accomplishment, good byes, growing up and getting out there; to the real world. No more 'sheltering'.
Uni is over.
I graduated last year. I remember my graduation ceremony.
I was so pissed off that day. I didn't wanna go. I thought it was gonna suck ass! Waste of money, time etc.
I was so glad I was wrong for once (yes it happened :P )! Kim, Rich, Lauren and Joeun made this experience so special to me! It was nice spending time with good people with whom I collaborated throughout my academic journey. It was nice to see tutors and students out of the 'uni context' if you know what I mean -still wish Fiorenzo was there as well :) . Drinking champaign and eating muffins for free was nice too! :D
The last time I wrote about uni, about London I was disappointed, stressed. I had so many deadlines at the time. Now that 6 whole months have passed after my graduation, now that I have lived in London for four months without deadlines just chilling, partying, and enjoying my free time I can say one thing.
I fucking love this place! Will I live here for ever? Who knows I have no clue where I want to live for ever. Is there even such a thing? For ever? I know I want to spend some more time in London for sure though.
I have come to truly love this city. It's peculiar, mysterious, gothic, gloomy, huge, confusing and utterly beautiful. Would I feel the same if I hadn't my 'London family' by my side? Definitely not.
I'm so thankful for the friends I've made these past three years. Would I feel the same if I wasn't raving in London? Definitely not. Drum and bass and generally the rave culture is a big part of my life. I didn't expect it to be, nevertheless it started defining a big part of who I am; as an artist, a researcher and a person.
I lived in my uni Halls during my studies. Same room for three consecutive academic years. The legendary, the epic, room E127!!! I believe all of my friends, and the people that have spent time in my room, felt the love, the warmth and acceptance that I, and this room had to offer. I'm being nostalgic, but how can I not be? I met my family in this room, we had big fights, parties, drama, studying sessions, cooking sessions, random shit and so many other things -I can't really say- taking place in that room. The videos and pictures I got can fill at least 2 dvds (if anyone hacks my computer we're screwed!). So many memories indeed! Good and bad of course. I'm keeping all the good stuff though, and just mature from the bad ones. So glad my last day in Halls was spent with Johnny Python, beautiful Louise, lovely Bishawn and my brother from another mother and father, Patrik <3 -Patrik you bitch I'll never forget the awful hangover I had cuz of you hoe!
Our campus is such an amazing place. Mesmerizing and exquisit in its beauty. Imagine waking up hangovered (since you live in the Halls no reason to go out to partey), listening to the birds, seeing the squirrels climbing on the tree next to your window. I could go on and on forever about the chilling times, the extreme situations, the wild partying, exploring the forest, walking by the lake. . . The good thing about the campus was that you had nature in one hand and all the college activities on the other hand. It was a bit isolated from the outer world and that could be frustrating sometimes, but still nothing compares to the countless opportunities we had to do stuff most students would've only dreamt of.
Of course we had security guards to make our lives more difficult! They tried to refrain us from making noise, partying (many thanks to my floor mates and especially lovely Phoebe for being understanding and partying with me :P ), burning the library (Yankee that one is on you!), spray painting our rooms (Ewan \m/ ), collecting 100 bottles of alcohol (guilty, but it was a work of art!), hosting people for too long (Leo, Davide, Patrik and JJ seriously most people thought you lived there!), having wild sex (Lans and. . . :P ). . . Security guards even questioned me having Jack (the air mattress) and Sucker (my inflatable dog) in my room! No matter what we had a special relationship with them. They were kind of like parents for all the crazy youth residing in Halls. RIP to one of them, peculiar, mysterious and lovely John. You will be remembered and missed.
I went to Amsterdam twice while I was in London and I can't even begin to explain the experience. . . So I won't xD
There are so so many things I would like to do and say. I still haven't been to the obelisk (yeah I lived there for 3 years and never went to the obelisk :P). I shall pay a visit on March since I'm going back for 18 days. That will surely become another story on my blog as I'm going Belgium and most probably Amsterdam as well!
I'm also so glad and thankful to sexy divas Eva and Leo for hosting me and Johnny (plague is my 2nd fav room in London :D) for one month, amazing Xankee, Vicky, Katerina, Robin and Yankee for hosting me for more than one month(!) and miss Jade (our youngest member of the group) for hosting me as well! I've been very lucky and privileged to have been hosted by you guys and I'll never be able to thank you enough!
Oh! It started raining again. I can also hear a dog barking, some corns *beep beep*!! But it's like 8 am and too noisy already! Why am I awake? Come on you know I'm not going to sleep yet!
I don't know what else to write about I've been a bit too emotional on this blog entry. I think it's enough!
I just want to say good bye and thank you to my room (yes yes to a room!) E127. I owe you so much. I hope if anyone else lives in that room (since they closed down the halls) they love this room and feel all the positive energy it contains.
I wish to everyone embarking on a journey to study/work/live in a foreign country to be lucky and find people who get them, respect them and love them. Leaving your country isn't an easy thing to do. Believe me my 1st year in Uni would have been hell if my awesome friend Eva -who I met in Halls- hadn't helped me out. It all depends on your attitude towards life. Strength. Be brave and even if you feel down sometimes allow your friends to lift part of your burden. It's a lesson I learnt during 2012.
This has been a very odd article(?)/confession(?). I'll go watch some American cheesy tv series like Dr. Phil or Snooky and JWoww. j/k
One Love.
L.
Vanilla smoke all over the place.
I wanted to write for such a long time, but I couldn't bring myself to.
I wanted to write about happiness, success, accomplishment, good byes, growing up and getting out there; to the real world. No more 'sheltering'.
Uni is over.
I graduated last year. I remember my graduation ceremony.
I was so pissed off that day. I didn't wanna go. I thought it was gonna suck ass! Waste of money, time etc.
I was so glad I was wrong for once (yes it happened :P )! Kim, Rich, Lauren and Joeun made this experience so special to me! It was nice spending time with good people with whom I collaborated throughout my academic journey. It was nice to see tutors and students out of the 'uni context' if you know what I mean -still wish Fiorenzo was there as well :) . Drinking champaign and eating muffins for free was nice too! :D
The last time I wrote about uni, about London I was disappointed, stressed. I had so many deadlines at the time. Now that 6 whole months have passed after my graduation, now that I have lived in London for four months without deadlines just chilling, partying, and enjoying my free time I can say one thing.
I fucking love this place! Will I live here for ever? Who knows I have no clue where I want to live for ever. Is there even such a thing? For ever? I know I want to spend some more time in London for sure though.
I have come to truly love this city. It's peculiar, mysterious, gothic, gloomy, huge, confusing and utterly beautiful. Would I feel the same if I hadn't my 'London family' by my side? Definitely not.
I'm so thankful for the friends I've made these past three years. Would I feel the same if I wasn't raving in London? Definitely not. Drum and bass and generally the rave culture is a big part of my life. I didn't expect it to be, nevertheless it started defining a big part of who I am; as an artist, a researcher and a person.
Our campus is such an amazing place. Mesmerizing and exquisit in its beauty. Imagine waking up hangovered (since you live in the Halls no reason to go out to partey), listening to the birds, seeing the squirrels climbing on the tree next to your window. I could go on and on forever about the chilling times, the extreme situations, the wild partying, exploring the forest, walking by the lake. . . The good thing about the campus was that you had nature in one hand and all the college activities on the other hand. It was a bit isolated from the outer world and that could be frustrating sometimes, but still nothing compares to the countless opportunities we had to do stuff most students would've only dreamt of.
Of course we had security guards to make our lives more difficult! They tried to refrain us from making noise, partying (many thanks to my floor mates and especially lovely Phoebe for being understanding and partying with me :P ), burning the library (Yankee that one is on you!), spray painting our rooms (Ewan \m/ ), collecting 100 bottles of alcohol (guilty, but it was a work of art!), hosting people for too long (Leo, Davide, Patrik and JJ seriously most people thought you lived there!), having wild sex (Lans and. . . :P ). . . Security guards even questioned me having Jack (the air mattress) and Sucker (my inflatable dog) in my room! No matter what we had a special relationship with them. They were kind of like parents for all the crazy youth residing in Halls. RIP to one of them, peculiar, mysterious and lovely John. You will be remembered and missed.
I went to Amsterdam twice while I was in London and I can't even begin to explain the experience. . . So I won't xD
There are so so many things I would like to do and say. I still haven't been to the obelisk (yeah I lived there for 3 years and never went to the obelisk :P). I shall pay a visit on March since I'm going back for 18 days. That will surely become another story on my blog as I'm going Belgium and most probably Amsterdam as well!
Oh! It started raining again. I can also hear a dog barking, some corns *beep beep*!! But it's like 8 am and too noisy already! Why am I awake? Come on you know I'm not going to sleep yet!
I don't know what else to write about I've been a bit too emotional on this blog entry. I think it's enough!
I just want to say good bye and thank you to my room (yes yes to a room!) E127. I owe you so much. I hope if anyone else lives in that room (since they closed down the halls) they love this room and feel all the positive energy it contains.
I wish to everyone embarking on a journey to study/work/live in a foreign country to be lucky and find people who get them, respect them and love them. Leaving your country isn't an easy thing to do. Believe me my 1st year in Uni would have been hell if my awesome friend Eva -who I met in Halls- hadn't helped me out. It all depends on your attitude towards life. Strength. Be brave and even if you feel down sometimes allow your friends to lift part of your burden. It's a lesson I learnt during 2012.
This has been a very odd article(?)/confession(?). I'll go watch some American cheesy tv series like Dr. Phil or Snooky and JWoww. j/k
One Love.
L.
06/01/2013
Questions, reasons, replies . . .
or is it the agony of the tortured soul; of the one in love seeking a response, succumbing to hatred to get over love despite the futility of doing so, that unites us all?
08/10/2012
Autumn, leafs and poetry
I want him pale, so pale. . . like a dead body, like me.
I want him blond. . . maybe ash or fire blonde. . . like me.
I want him blue or green or gray eyed. . .like a creature. . .like me.
I want him obscure or even peculiar. . .weird and grotesque. . .like me.
I want him mysterious and mystical. . .unreadable and enigmatic. . .like me.
I want him fair and just. . .honest and sincere. . .like me.
I want him kinky and twisted. . .like an ill-minded controversy. . .like me.
I want him strong and dynamic. . .like a confident person should be. . .like me.
I want him open-minded and explorative. . .like a researcher. . .like me.
I want him dirty and pure. . .innocent and sinful. . .like me.
I want him artistic and logical. . .rational and real. . .like me.
I want him just and corrupt. . .cynical and impeccable. . .like me.
and the list could go on and on. forever. . .
12/09/2012
Υπάρχει ελπίδα;
Μας ελέγχουν, μας παρακολουθούν, ευνουχίζουν τη σκέψη μας, μας βάζουν τσιπ -το οποίο δεν γνωρίζουμε από τι αποτελείται και τι ακριβώς μπορεί να μας κάνει, απαγορεύουν την έκτρωση. . .
Αφήνουμε να μας καταπατούν την ιδιωτική ζωή, να μας αλλάζουν το σώμα και να μας στερούν βασικά ανθρώπινα δικαιώματα.
Πού πήγε το δικαίωμα της επιλογής; Η δημοκρατία; Η ελευθερία;
Υπήρξαν ποτέ; Θα υπάρξουν ποτέ;
24/07/2012
Summer, sweat and poetry
It's the last time I will see you sleeping next to me,
the last time I will hear you breathing next to me.
I have to memorize every inch of your body so that I will never forget.
But how could I forget. . .
I have and will probably never touch you,
but I was watching you sleeping,
I heard you breathing,
I felt your heart beating. . .
That is enough for me
11/07/2012
Skins
I started watching Skins around 2008 . . .
It blew my mind! I've never watched any 'teen' series that raw, that honest before. I couldn't stop watching.
On that moment -after finishing the first two seasons- I made up my mind. I wanted to visit England. I wanted to see if what Skins depicted as reality was 'the' reality.
It's 2012.
I've lived for 2 and a half years in London. I graduated this month.
Everything you saw on Skins . . .
. . . is true.
It blew my mind! I've never watched any 'teen' series that raw, that honest before. I couldn't stop watching.
On that moment -after finishing the first two seasons- I made up my mind. I wanted to visit England. I wanted to see if what Skins depicted as reality was 'the' reality.
It's 2012.
I've lived for 2 and a half years in London. I graduated this month.
Everything you saw on Skins . . .
. . . is true.
20/06/2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)