Today marks my last day as a university student, or a student in general.
My university student card expires on this day.
Mixed feelings. Bittersweet. Redemption, relief, anxiety, sadness, melancholy...
I started going to primary school in Greece when I was six years old. I remember how excited I was to learn the alphabet, the tool of the writer. I immediately started keeping a diary and then writing stories, and later poems and lyrics. Primary school was easy and fun, and then not so much fun when the school shut down and I had to transfer to a bigger one. Then senior school was ok, I was reading a lot of literature at the time, and I started learning about all sorts of different subjects at school. High school was when I started questioning the knowledge passed on by the teachers and books, and when my ability to think critically really evolved and started shaping the person I am today. Then, came prep school to get to uni. Next year, off I went to uni in Greece. Two years of learning things I wasn't sure I was interested in. I decided to go to the UK to study music. To push myself to do that which I have always loved. My time as a music student was eye opening. I learned, I lived, I experienced, I grew, I lost myself and I found me again. After that I took a gap year to decide what I should do next. Then, off I went to my masters degree. Little did I know these would be the hardest three years of my life. I went through trauma, mental breakdowns, I learned, I rediscovered myself, I improved my research and writing skills and I became an adult. Yes, at almost 28 years old I became an adult.
Overall, I've spent 21 years of my life in education. And that chapter of my life is coming to an end today.
I'm not sure what the future holds. The future is terrifying territory for me.
What I'm sure of is that being in education helped me become the best version of myself. It helped me become aware. It provided me with the tools I need to be a decent human being. And not necessarily because of the teachers, even though I encountered a few of them that were exceptional -not a majority unfortunately. It was my effort, my resilience and research that gave me the tools, but had I not had education as a platform, I doubt I'd have ever made that effort and engaged in such research.
So, if you ever have the chance to go to college, university, or anything similar, grab it. Make sure to use that time creatively, meaningfully, lose yourself, find yourself, do crazy shit, learn crazy shit, question everything, and above all, _________ .
No, I ain't telling you that part. That is for you to discover yourselves.
Just fly,
Lara
28/09/2016
07/09/2016
Fabric just got shut down
So Fabric was shut down.
Islington council thinks we're stupid if they actually believe we were convinced they care about young people.They didn't shut Fabric "to protect the children" (there were never any children in Fabric anyway since you have to be an adult to enter). They shut Fabric because they want to focus on house development and they had eyed the Fabric building for a very very long time. I can't begin to imagine how many people will lose their jobs and how much money the owners will lose. I can't begin to imagine the financial uncertainty this will cause.I can't begin to imagine how much this will impact DJs, London's nightlife and tourism...People were coming to UK just to visit Fabric. I have seen people online infuriated and disappointed by this decision to shut Fabric, as they have already booked tickets to fly to the UK just to visit Fabric.
If Islington Council really cared about young people, they would stop this petty "War on Drugs" and start educating young people on how to be safe. They would make sure no club goer is ignorant when it comes to drugs, and they'd be giving free drug test kits outside clubs, as other progressive countries do. So that people know whether their drugs are what they were said to be or not. This has successfully worked in other countries. Islington Council needs to realise that people have always been taking substances to alter their perception since the beginning of time, and that practice won't change, no matter how many clubs they shut. Shutting safe spaces where people are monitored, have access to medical professionals and are protected by security personnel perpetuates archaic practices which push people underground. And the underground is a lot more dangerous. A lot more people have had accidents or died in illegal raves than in legal ones (analogically). Thousands of people have visited Fabric over the years. Yes, six people died in Fabric since 2011. Out of thousands of people, 6 died. Of course this is tragic, but statistically this is a very small percentage. I understand that the loved ones of those people must be devastated, angry and desperate to blame someone. But Fabric isn't the enemy. The enemy is a system that perpetuates the drug black market, putting persons at risk.
London -and UK in general- has been adopting very conservative tactics in the past few years. And now, after the Brexit and all the uncertainty that that entails, we see the capital's nightlife being viciously attacked in the name of money making. But the people need entertainment, they need to have places where they go to unwind, and let go of all the worries and stress of this fast-paced and tough life they live in London. You turned London into a place where you can't live comfortably, where you can barely survive. Now you take entertainment out of the equation. What do you think will happen? The people will find new ways, possibly more dangerous ways -and places- to replace the lost clubs (Cable, Fabric etc.). And then, when more people lose their lives, because these spaces aren't nearly as safe as Fabric, who are you going to blame?
Islington council thinks we're stupid if they actually believe we were convinced they care about young people.They didn't shut Fabric "to protect the children" (there were never any children in Fabric anyway since you have to be an adult to enter). They shut Fabric because they want to focus on house development and they had eyed the Fabric building for a very very long time. I can't begin to imagine how many people will lose their jobs and how much money the owners will lose. I can't begin to imagine the financial uncertainty this will cause.I can't begin to imagine how much this will impact DJs, London's nightlife and tourism...People were coming to UK just to visit Fabric. I have seen people online infuriated and disappointed by this decision to shut Fabric, as they have already booked tickets to fly to the UK just to visit Fabric.
If Islington Council really cared about young people, they would stop this petty "War on Drugs" and start educating young people on how to be safe. They would make sure no club goer is ignorant when it comes to drugs, and they'd be giving free drug test kits outside clubs, as other progressive countries do. So that people know whether their drugs are what they were said to be or not. This has successfully worked in other countries. Islington Council needs to realise that people have always been taking substances to alter their perception since the beginning of time, and that practice won't change, no matter how many clubs they shut. Shutting safe spaces where people are monitored, have access to medical professionals and are protected by security personnel perpetuates archaic practices which push people underground. And the underground is a lot more dangerous. A lot more people have had accidents or died in illegal raves than in legal ones (analogically). Thousands of people have visited Fabric over the years. Yes, six people died in Fabric since 2011. Out of thousands of people, 6 died. Of course this is tragic, but statistically this is a very small percentage. I understand that the loved ones of those people must be devastated, angry and desperate to blame someone. But Fabric isn't the enemy. The enemy is a system that perpetuates the drug black market, putting persons at risk.
London -and UK in general- has been adopting very conservative tactics in the past few years. And now, after the Brexit and all the uncertainty that that entails, we see the capital's nightlife being viciously attacked in the name of money making. But the people need entertainment, they need to have places where they go to unwind, and let go of all the worries and stress of this fast-paced and tough life they live in London. You turned London into a place where you can't live comfortably, where you can barely survive. Now you take entertainment out of the equation. What do you think will happen? The people will find new ways, possibly more dangerous ways -and places- to replace the lost clubs (Cable, Fabric etc.). And then, when more people lose their lives, because these spaces aren't nearly as safe as Fabric, who are you going to blame?
02/09/2016
Random Thoughts XXXXX
Whilst we all fight our own battles, we tend to forget we're all together in this thing called life and on this planet called Earth.
Light and love to all of you, it can be hard to see them and accept them, but maybe that's the point of our journey.
31/08/2016
Morning Thoughts
So the person who cleans our flat is having another tantrum today, banging the hoover on the floor, slamming doors and making as much noise as she possibly can. Many times when she's having a bad day she will make noise on purpose, knowing that some of us sleep, and/or she won't clean properly (actually, she never cleans properly). She's a great example of a person who wants to ruin someone else's day because she's not happy.
I've been observing for years, that many of the people I randomly encounter on the street/shops/public transport/etc. have the same mentality as her: "Since I hate my life or since I'm having a bad day, I will take it out on other people -even if they have nothing to do with my situation- or I will try to make other people miserable because no one should be happier than me."
This mentality and behaviour is one of the most harmful elements in human thought and behaviour in my opinion. Because it perpetuates misery and recycles negativity, hate and aggression. But this also stems from the inability of humans to recognise their true enemies. The person whom you took your anger out on the tube isn't your enemy. That person isn't responsible for your misery. You are responsible for your misery, and possibly the system, economy etc. So to target a random individual is harmful and irrational. I'm not saying that people can't piss you off. Of course, they can. And sometimes you do have to tell people off on the tube, in a shop etc. if they're doing something that disrespects you, hurts you or obstructs you from what you are doing. But that is very different to taking out other issues you have on random people.
I've been observing for years, that many of the people I randomly encounter on the street/shops/public transport/etc. have the same mentality as her: "Since I hate my life or since I'm having a bad day, I will take it out on other people -even if they have nothing to do with my situation- or I will try to make other people miserable because no one should be happier than me."
This mentality and behaviour is one of the most harmful elements in human thought and behaviour in my opinion. Because it perpetuates misery and recycles negativity, hate and aggression. But this also stems from the inability of humans to recognise their true enemies. The person whom you took your anger out on the tube isn't your enemy. That person isn't responsible for your misery. You are responsible for your misery, and possibly the system, economy etc. So to target a random individual is harmful and irrational. I'm not saying that people can't piss you off. Of course, they can. And sometimes you do have to tell people off on the tube, in a shop etc. if they're doing something that disrespects you, hurts you or obstructs you from what you are doing. But that is very different to taking out other issues you have on random people.
30/08/2016
Random Thoughts XXXXVIV
That moment when you realise you are incapable of feeling absolute and pure happiness.
25/08/2016
Harsh Reality
That moment when you realise dreams are just dreams that will never become reality.
That moment when you start crying because you slowly realise there is no hope.
That moment despair creeps in as you see your whole life crumble...
That moment has come for me. And it has come after me.
That moment when you realise everyone's hopes and expectations of you will never be materialised, because reality isn't a thought, an ability or a desire.
Reality is harsh as fuck and it crushes your whole being.
That moment when you start crying because you slowly realise there is no hope.
That moment despair creeps in as you see your whole life crumble...
That moment has come for me. And it has come after me.
That moment when you realise everyone's hopes and expectations of you will never be materialised, because reality isn't a thought, an ability or a desire.
Reality is harsh as fuck and it crushes your whole being.
13/08/2016
Wisdom Tooth Poem
Another day of rice and soup, fuck you, damn you, wisdom tooth
My tooth doesn't hurt as much no more, But I have to be careful not to make it sore
Fuck you, damn you, wisdom tooth, I want mozzarella sticks to tell the truth
06/08/2016
15/07/2016
Random Thoughts XXXXVII
Sometimes you realise that you can just not tolerate anything else.
You have surpassed that point that used to be your limit by far, and even the smallest things can become triggers to send you off the edge.
And I'm at that point now, where I've taken too much bullshit, I've been too under appreciated, I've had to put up with too much ungratefullness, I had to survive obstacles on a daily basis, I had too many health implications, I had too many bad things happen to me constantly, and in general:
I've had enough.
Yes, I've had enough.
So from now on, get ready. This summer is going to be explosive.
You have surpassed that point that used to be your limit by far, and even the smallest things can become triggers to send you off the edge.
And I'm at that point now, where I've taken too much bullshit, I've been too under appreciated, I've had to put up with too much ungratefullness, I had to survive obstacles on a daily basis, I had too many health implications, I had too many bad things happen to me constantly, and in general:
I've had enough.
Yes, I've had enough.
So from now on, get ready. This summer is going to be explosive.
24/06/2016
Brexit
So apparently the brexiters won.
Right wings, racists, nationalists won.
I can't begin to tell you my feelings towards this result.
A country that is being governed by the Tories left the EU. This government wants to privatise the NHS, give less money to the Arts and Education, and give more power to banks and corporations.
Now that UK isn't part of the EU anymore, these things will happen. Dark times await the UK.
On top of that, there is no apparent plan for the aftermath of the brexit.
And what will happen to all of us who are from the EU and have been living in UK for years?
And what will happen to all the British people who live in the EU?
UK will be punished from the EU for this decision. Any brexiter who thought they can leave the EU and still be pampered by the EU is delusional.
And of course, now there is a great divide. Those who wanted to remain will never forgive the ones who wanted to leave, and those who wanted to leave now will have a sense of power over the ones who wanted to remain.
The majority of young people wanted to remain, and older people to leave, thus leaving the younger generations despising the older ones, feeling their future has been destroyed by anachronistic political and nationalist views.
The great divide begins, the dark ages begin.
Well done UK, you just started the domino effect of destruction.
28/05/2016
Random Thoughts XXXXVI
That terrifying moment when you realise you can't trust your brain anymore...
26/05/2016
Random Thoughts XXXXV
It's really hard to know that this is the only life I'm going to live, but it's not going to be the one I want to live.
25/05/2016
Random Thoughts XXXXIV
I don't think that being optimistic is usually being realistic.
And unless you're coming from an extremely privileged background you can't really afford to be unrealistic, because you won't fucking survive in this jungle called "the adult world."
And unless you're coming from an extremely privileged background you can't really afford to be unrealistic, because you won't fucking survive in this jungle called "the adult world."
16/05/2016
Donald Trump
The mere existence of Donald Trump and the fact that people are supporting him and he may become the president of USA shows humanity has no fucking hope.
In 2016, in 2016, there are still racists, white supremacists, homo/poly/transphobes, fatphobes, bullies, rapists, abusers, serial killers, cannibals, misogynists, sexists, extreme right wing people, people who torture animals, pedophiles, ableists, mentalists...
Humanity has existed for hundreds of thousands of years and we still discriminate against each other (not to mention that there is still war, hunger, poverty).
I generally exist in a very protected environment since my friends and most of my acquaintances are decent people and none of the above.
But in the past couple of years I have been exposed to the true nature of humanity widely and forcefully, through the internet.
And the more active I am online, the more desperate I become.
The more I lose any last fragment of hope I may have had.
Because for humanity to be the way it is, to have been and still be the way it is, it means any sort of evolution doesn't change the core of the human psych and behaviour. Hate and discrimination.
No matter how evolved we are as a species, no matter how fast technical advances and science unravel the mysteries of the universe, we won't change.
Evil is ingrained in our souls. That is very apparent to me. Not sure if it's somehow passed in our dna. But it is there.
And all this leaves me questioning, is goodness a minority?
Are we, the ones who demand peace and equality a painful minority?
Because if we are, where does that live us in the sense of demanding those things?
13/05/2016
Random Thoughts XXXXIII
Wondering if all those people supporting the brand Chanel know how Coco came to make her fortune and what kind of relations she had with the Nazis. Is fashion more important than morals and ethos? Would you buy products created by a company owned by a pedophile for example? Where does consumerism stop -if at any point- and where does free and critical thinking begin?
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