The world we live in has been designed to push the ones with no morals and no inhibitions forward and to hold the shy, the kind and the ones we care for others back.
If you're socially awkward, if you don't know how to climb socially, how to manipulate others; if you can't flaunt your talents, or fake them; if you don't like stepping on others; if you're kind, have a good soul and don't want to hurt others, then you're going nowhere in life.
Everyone says you need to hustle nowadays to move forward.
But what is hustling?
Isn't it to do anything you can to make money, regardless of any ethical implications?
So, to be successful in this day and age, to be a hustler, you kinda have to be an asshole.
That's what society is rewarding, unethical and immoral behaviour.
21/04/2017
16/04/2017
Panic Attacks
Before I begin, I'd like to clarify I'm not a medical professional, or medically trained in any way.
However, I do have basic knowledge and understanding of psychology due to my masters degree, and I have also spent more than 10 years of my life researching and learning about anxiety and depression.
Recently, I've noticed a few people in my close circles -including myself- have been suffering from severe anxiety, which many times led to panic and panic attacks.
I decided to write down a few suggestions on what you can do when something like that happens.
But first of all, why do we get panic attacks?
As I said, I'm no doctor, so bare with my simplistic explanation.
My understanding is that there is a part in our brains that identifies danger. That part has been in our brains since ancient times, and to this day reacts the same way it used to react back then.
Only difference is, back then, what you perceived as danger was a bear, a wolf, or something life-threatening.
What causes most people anxiety and panic today is relationships, family, work, studies etc. Non life-threatening situations.
So, what do you think happens when your brain reacts to non life-threatening situations as if they're life-threatening? You get a rush of adrenaline, which would be useful to you if you were to run from a bear, but is not useful to you if you have a work deadline to stick to. Instead, it causes you a few very unpleasant symptoms; symptoms which most patients mistake as life-threatening.
Some, but possibly not all, of the symptoms you may get during a panic attack:
-Shortness of breath/hyperventilating
-Chest pain/tightness
-Numb limbs
-Numb head
-Tingling
-Fear of death/cardiac arrest etc.
-Shaking
-Teeth grinding/jaw tightness/lock
-Dilated pupils
-Nausea
-Dizziness
-Palpitations
-Negative thoughts
-Panic
-Crying
And here comes the question: What can we do to stop panic attacks?
It takes 3 minutes from the time your brain sends danger signals to the time adrenaline is produced. It also takes 3 minutes from the time your brain realises it was a false signal to the time adrenaline stops being produced.
Theoretically, you can stop a panic attack within 3 minutes.
But to do that, you must be quite experienced and know how to control your thoughts and your breathing. It can be hard, but it's definitely doable.
Yes, there is hope.
As it is very hard to remember how to deal with panic as it happens, it is advisable to rehearse how to cope with it while calm, so that your brain and body can draw on that memory and experience whilst it's happening. Have a plan (same way people do fire drills, or earthquake exercises)!
Breathing:
Breathing is your weapon and ally against panic attacks. It's the one thing you can actually master control of before anything else.
And if you learn how to control your breathing, you will eventually get control of your panic.
When you panic, you breathe too fast and too much, which results in too much oxygen in your brain, which causes the numbness and tingly feelings you get.
Always breathe from your belly -not from your chest- during panic attacks. Breathe slow counting to 4, hold your breath counting to 4, and exhale slowly counting to 4. Repeat and try to slowly count to 6 instead of 4. If you could even reach 8 or 10 it'd be great, but don't push yourself too hard.
What that does is telling your brain you're relaxing and there's no danger. Because if there was a real danger, you wouldn't be doing relaxation techniques, you'd run for your life.
Controlling thoughts:
That's another thing you can do to stop panic attacks. It's a lot more advanced than controlling your breathing though.
Basically, our brains are lazy and love to associate things. So, when your whole life you think negatively, your brain always falls into that habit whatever may be happening to you. Moreover, it associates negativity with certain thoughts and feelings (e.g. discomfort, anxiety, people looking at you, or anything really). And that can be a painful trap during panic attacks.
"I'm having a heart attack" or "I'm dying" or "No one can help me" etc. etc. are all negative thoughts we're having during a panic attack, which lead us to have even more negative thoughts that feed our panic. Negative thoughts derive from fears.
We need to understand that fear isn't always reality. Certainly not during a panic attack.
Your fear is relevant to the constant negative thought pattern you've developed, combined with the adrenaline rush you're having during a panic attack.
Nevertheless, how is this information going to help you?
Well, you kind of have to force positive thoughts into your brain. "I'm ok" or "This is just a panic attack and it's not life-threatening" are positive thoughts that can help you.
Also, try to expose yourself to more positive material in general (e.g. cat videos, comedy, nature etc.).
'Reprogramming' your brain to have a positive thought process will create positive thought patterns which will make it harder for panic to take over.
Of course, that is a long process and you have to be persistent and militant to see long term results eventually.
A grounding exercise:
There are numerous grounding exercises you can do to distract yourself when your anxiety starts building up. One of them is the following:
Look around you.
Find 5 items that catch your attention.
Then, try to identify 4 sounds that catch your attention.
Then, 3 scents, then, 2 items you can touch, and lastly, 1 item you can taste.
Lifestyle and Healthy choices:
Remember, we are what we digest. If you're eating a lot of unhealthy stuff, don't get enough vitamins, consume too much caffeine and energy drinks, don't be surprised when you get palpitations and anxiety.
A healthy mind resides in a healthy body.
Exercise, yoga, mindfulness, meditation: All can be extremely helpful to your mental health, especially if combined with a healthy diet.
Drink plenty of water and make sure you eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
If you're feeling low on energy and you get palpitations and/or anxiety, check your B12 levels, your thyroid function, iron and anything else that helps your body function that you may be lacking.
More than often people who suffer from anxiety have certain deficiencies.
Therapy, CBT, Counselling, Hypnotherapy
See a therapist/psychotherapist/hypnotherapist, counselor... Don't be hesitant to seek assistance. If you broke your leg you'd go see the doctor, so if your soul and mind are suffering, you should do the same.
There are different types of therapy, and it's up to the patient to research and find the one they feel can help them the most.
Don't get discouraged if you are going through financial difficulties. There are always free options for you to get support.
Environment and Atmosphere
It's very important to live in a pleasant and calm environment. That will help you heal and recover. Aromatherapy, music, specific decorations, crystals, plants... These are all things that can help you build a safe space where you can feel better.
You need to focus on yourself and your mental health. If you feel the need to remove certain people from your life or if you feel the need to remove yourself from unhealthy situations and relationships, do it.
Those who love you and care about you will understand. Those who don't understand don't really matter.
Research
Mind, 1 in 4, Mind our Minds and Samaritans are a few organisations/websites where you can find information and help.
There are also numerous fora and blogs where you can ask for information and even discuss mental health.
Useful Links:
- http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/stop-panic-attacks/
- http://nlppati.com/articles/end-panic-attacks.shtml
- http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/coping-with-panic-attacks.aspx
- http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/panic-attacks/
Useful Videos:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9jmO6xwFfs
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoYnqvadurg
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA05sgCeQ1E
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZqHRCBx9qk
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B6YsOonAJw
There are thousands of videos you can find on youtube and articles you can find if you google 'how to deal with panic attacks' or 'how to overcome panic' etc.
Feel free to research and focus on the videos and articles that can help make a positive change on your life.
12/04/2017
The truth about the NHS
I believe anyone who lives in the UK and is an NHS patient has noticed a decline in its services in the past few years.
GPs look more tired, and not willing to do thorough examinations, receptionists and staff are more aggressive, and there is an overall disregard towards patients.
As we all know, the system forces patients to go to GPs before they can see the doctor they need.
What that does is:
1. Puts a great amount of pressure on GPs to diagnose things they are not trained to diagnose
2. Gives GPs 10 minutes to make said diagnosis
3. Forces patients to depend on GPs who may take too long to refer them -if they decide to- to the appropriate doctor
4. Forces patients to wait, when that time may result in their death
Moreover, when a GP makes a diagnosis, that appears on your file, and the next GP who will see you is advised to follow that diagnosis rather than make a new one.
That means that if a GP didn't like you or if they just made a wrong diagnosis, that will follow you for a very long time and will probably result in more wrong diagnosis.
Now, I believe we have all heard NHS is being defunded. Considering that GP Practices already run on a budget, that just jeopardises patients health.
What am I talking about?
Basically, every Practice has a budget. When a GP refers you to another doctor that budget is used. Therefore, GPs are advised to not refer you unless they have explicit proof you absolutely need to be referred. Which means that sometimes you may actually need a referral and not get one.
It is cheaper for the NHS for you to go to the A&E when you're dying, rather than for them to refer the majority of people who ask for a referral. It is also a lot cheaper for them to give you medication, since most patients pay for their medication. Which is why they prefer to give people psychoactive medication, than refer them to therapists and counselors.
Why?
1. This way the GP Practice's budget remains untouched
2. The amount of people who will be dying and be in need of urgent care is lower than the number of people who will ask for referrals
3. Most people have to pay for their medication, but no one has to pay to see a GP and be referred to another doctor
So, now that there is less funding, there will be less referrals and probably less practitioners, and more waiting time. Furthermore, there will be a lot more prescriptions handed out.
A person who suffers from mental health has to wait 2-4 months to see a therapist, and even then, they only get 10-12 sessions. As you realise that is not enough or sufficient for people who suffer from mental health. Most mental health patients need years of therapy to see a great shift in their mood and health. Not to mention, a person who claims to be suffering from mental health has to go through a number of evaluations before they even get their sessions approved.
When you need an X-Ray or Pap test you have to wait for a few weeks before you get an appointment, and you aren't consulted when you are available for it. You are just expected to somehow be able to attend, and if you can't and have to reschedule, you may have to wait for months before you can get an appointment.
I know, by now you must be flabbergasted and frustrated due to this information. Which is absolutely understandable, if not expected.
And you may wonder, how did I acquire this information?
Well, apart from the fact that I came across a nurse who was very talkative regarding funding -she even mentioned they won't be giving STI tests to people anymore unless they're high risk- I also happen to know three doctors who at some point of their lives worked for the NHS.
On one hand I understand there's a lot of pressure on nurses, doctors and medical staff to perform under dystopian circumstances, which obviously causes them anger, irritation and influences their ability to perform. On the other hand, I cannot but be worried and fearful for the future of the patients, as they are the ones whose wellbeing is being affected.
GPs look more tired, and not willing to do thorough examinations, receptionists and staff are more aggressive, and there is an overall disregard towards patients.
As we all know, the system forces patients to go to GPs before they can see the doctor they need.
What that does is:
1. Puts a great amount of pressure on GPs to diagnose things they are not trained to diagnose
2. Gives GPs 10 minutes to make said diagnosis
3. Forces patients to depend on GPs who may take too long to refer them -if they decide to- to the appropriate doctor
4. Forces patients to wait, when that time may result in their death
Moreover, when a GP makes a diagnosis, that appears on your file, and the next GP who will see you is advised to follow that diagnosis rather than make a new one.
That means that if a GP didn't like you or if they just made a wrong diagnosis, that will follow you for a very long time and will probably result in more wrong diagnosis.
Now, I believe we have all heard NHS is being defunded. Considering that GP Practices already run on a budget, that just jeopardises patients health.
What am I talking about?
Basically, every Practice has a budget. When a GP refers you to another doctor that budget is used. Therefore, GPs are advised to not refer you unless they have explicit proof you absolutely need to be referred. Which means that sometimes you may actually need a referral and not get one.
It is cheaper for the NHS for you to go to the A&E when you're dying, rather than for them to refer the majority of people who ask for a referral. It is also a lot cheaper for them to give you medication, since most patients pay for their medication. Which is why they prefer to give people psychoactive medication, than refer them to therapists and counselors.
Why?
1. This way the GP Practice's budget remains untouched
2. The amount of people who will be dying and be in need of urgent care is lower than the number of people who will ask for referrals
3. Most people have to pay for their medication, but no one has to pay to see a GP and be referred to another doctor
So, now that there is less funding, there will be less referrals and probably less practitioners, and more waiting time. Furthermore, there will be a lot more prescriptions handed out.
A person who suffers from mental health has to wait 2-4 months to see a therapist, and even then, they only get 10-12 sessions. As you realise that is not enough or sufficient for people who suffer from mental health. Most mental health patients need years of therapy to see a great shift in their mood and health. Not to mention, a person who claims to be suffering from mental health has to go through a number of evaluations before they even get their sessions approved.
When you need an X-Ray or Pap test you have to wait for a few weeks before you get an appointment, and you aren't consulted when you are available for it. You are just expected to somehow be able to attend, and if you can't and have to reschedule, you may have to wait for months before you can get an appointment.
I know, by now you must be flabbergasted and frustrated due to this information. Which is absolutely understandable, if not expected.
And you may wonder, how did I acquire this information?
Well, apart from the fact that I came across a nurse who was very talkative regarding funding -she even mentioned they won't be giving STI tests to people anymore unless they're high risk- I also happen to know three doctors who at some point of their lives worked for the NHS.
On one hand I understand there's a lot of pressure on nurses, doctors and medical staff to perform under dystopian circumstances, which obviously causes them anger, irritation and influences their ability to perform. On the other hand, I cannot but be worried and fearful for the future of the patients, as they are the ones whose wellbeing is being affected.
02/04/2017
Random Thoughts XXXXXII
Όταν αγαπάς ένα άτομο, και αυτό το άτομο σου εκμυστηρεύεται κάτι που το βασανίζει, πρέπει να δείξεις κατανόηση. Να το ακούσεις.
Άσχετα από το αν θεωρείς αυτά που σου λέει χαζά, ασήμαντα...
Όταν αγαπάς κάποι@, τότε είσαι εκεί.
Ακούς, δίνεις μια αγκαλιά, το χρόνο σου...
Όταν αγαπάς δεν κοροϊδεύεις, δεν αγνοείς.
Random Thoughts XXXXXI
Life is way too short to spend it surrounded by assholes, bullies and narrow minded people. Don't be afraid to remove people from your life if they're toxic to you. You are entitled to choose how you want to live your life and with whom. And if people judge you, or if they don't get your decisions, screw them. It's your life, your rules.
Dear anti-vegans
So a couple of days ago I saw someone sharing an article that basically says:
"I eat meat and I don't feel guilty about it because being vegan doesn't make a difference."
Well well, look at how people are trying to get rid of their guilty conscious...
Fun fact, my comments were deleted because the person who posted the article had no argument against mine. Just trying to cover up for their guilt and get justification from other meat eaters with guilty conscious.
The article went on to attack vegans, as if vegans are humanity and environment's enemy.
Guess again: Wrong.
Vegans for the biggest part are a lot more eco-friendly and eco-conscious than most of us.
They care about ethical consumerism in all products.
The article said because rainforests are destroyed vegans are contributing to that due to their consumption.
First of all, if you buy ethically produced products and avoid palm oil (or unethically produced one), you have good chances of not contributing to rainforest destruction.
Secondly, we know that it's hard to be 100% eco-friendly. It's very very hard if not impossible (especially in big cities).
I've never seen a vegan make such a statement anyway.
I don't get why vegans are targeted by meat eaters, when it's so fucking obvious that when you eat meat you actually have contributed to animals' deaths (and possibly torture).
If you're vegan or vegetarian, at least you don't eat corpses, so you didn't contribute to the death of those said animals.
And that's a pretty big deal to me.
To say that you love animals, but then eat them... isn't that hypocrisy? Unless you support speciesism (which means you discriminate towards certain species).
If you really care about the environment and animals, maybe you should get a lesson or two from vegans instead of attacking them. Vegans aren't the fucking enemy. Those who torture animals and fuck up the environment and the ecosystem are.
Know your enemies and don't be manipulated sheep turning against people who aren't to be blamed.
If you want to eat meat, fine. But don't pretend you're not contributing to animal murder (and possibly torture). Admit you don't give a fuck and enjoy your steak.
I personally don't attack people for eating meat, regardless of my disagreement to it. It's your choice and you have to live with it. But don't bullshit me. If you don't feel guilty good for you.
However, if you feel guilty and try to justify your actions by making stupid and illogical excuses I ain't tolerating that crap.
You can lie to yourself, but keep it to yourself and don't attack us who don't eat meat.
Spewing all those lies that not eating meat doesn't make a difference. Of course it makes a fucking difference. Google it and see how many animals are saved per year by one person being vegan/vegetarian.
Bottom line is, do whatever the fuck you want to do and leave other people alone.
If you want to save the environment be an ethical consumer. If you don't care don't be.
Do you and let others do them.
Peace.
"I eat meat and I don't feel guilty about it because being vegan doesn't make a difference."
Well well, look at how people are trying to get rid of their guilty conscious...
Fun fact, my comments were deleted because the person who posted the article had no argument against mine. Just trying to cover up for their guilt and get justification from other meat eaters with guilty conscious.
The article went on to attack vegans, as if vegans are humanity and environment's enemy.
Guess again: Wrong.
Vegans for the biggest part are a lot more eco-friendly and eco-conscious than most of us.
They care about ethical consumerism in all products.
The article said because rainforests are destroyed vegans are contributing to that due to their consumption.
First of all, if you buy ethically produced products and avoid palm oil (or unethically produced one), you have good chances of not contributing to rainforest destruction.
Secondly, we know that it's hard to be 100% eco-friendly. It's very very hard if not impossible (especially in big cities).
I've never seen a vegan make such a statement anyway.
I don't get why vegans are targeted by meat eaters, when it's so fucking obvious that when you eat meat you actually have contributed to animals' deaths (and possibly torture).
If you're vegan or vegetarian, at least you don't eat corpses, so you didn't contribute to the death of those said animals.
And that's a pretty big deal to me.
To say that you love animals, but then eat them... isn't that hypocrisy? Unless you support speciesism (which means you discriminate towards certain species).
If you really care about the environment and animals, maybe you should get a lesson or two from vegans instead of attacking them. Vegans aren't the fucking enemy. Those who torture animals and fuck up the environment and the ecosystem are.
Know your enemies and don't be manipulated sheep turning against people who aren't to be blamed.
If you want to eat meat, fine. But don't pretend you're not contributing to animal murder (and possibly torture). Admit you don't give a fuck and enjoy your steak.
I personally don't attack people for eating meat, regardless of my disagreement to it. It's your choice and you have to live with it. But don't bullshit me. If you don't feel guilty good for you.
However, if you feel guilty and try to justify your actions by making stupid and illogical excuses I ain't tolerating that crap.
You can lie to yourself, but keep it to yourself and don't attack us who don't eat meat.
Spewing all those lies that not eating meat doesn't make a difference. Of course it makes a fucking difference. Google it and see how many animals are saved per year by one person being vegan/vegetarian.
Bottom line is, do whatever the fuck you want to do and leave other people alone.
If you want to save the environment be an ethical consumer. If you don't care don't be.
Do you and let others do them.
Peace.
27/03/2017
I'm an artist
I've been thinking lately about my career and its future.
I've got a BA in Music and an MA in Community Arts. It goes without saying that it's impossible to find a job in those fields unless you got really good connections -which I don't- or are a member of some sort of union -which I'm not and I cannot afford to be.
Thing is, I've always been told in my life that art can never be my main income. I've always been told it can only be a hobby and the very few who manage to make good money out of it and/or make a decent living are the exceptions.
So, what am I supposed to do?
Everytime I've tried a 'normal' job so far, I've felt extremely uncomfortable and a few times it even had an impact on my health.
You see, I thrive in creative environments and I wither in non creative, boring ones.
Ask me to come up with ideas, concepts, lyrics, stories, melodies, scripts, directive advice, designs, images, vocals (and anything artistic) and I will do so in no time.
I don't have to squeeze my brain to be creative, as creativity is my natural instinct, perception and way of thinking.
However, put me in a non creative job, and even though I can excel in it, I'll be depressed and stressed af. (hint: which is what's going on atm)
It's so fucking unfair that there aren't many opportunities for artists and creative people to make a living working within the arts unless they have connections. Some of us are introverts and cannot physically be 'sociable.' Also, when you make it compulsory for people to be part of unions to work in the arts you're excluding those of us who don't have the money and resources to do so.
I got two fucking degrees in the arts and so far I have not been able to find a job where I can put my degrees and creativity in use. And it's beyond frustrating. I'm going to be 30 in a year and a half, and I still don't know what I'm doing with my life.
You know what: I'm not a 'normal' person and I can't be a 'productive' and 'useful' member of society (the way most people perceive those).
I'm a fucking artist. And I cannot but only be that which I am.
Fuck it.
I've got a BA in Music and an MA in Community Arts. It goes without saying that it's impossible to find a job in those fields unless you got really good connections -which I don't- or are a member of some sort of union -which I'm not and I cannot afford to be.
Thing is, I've always been told in my life that art can never be my main income. I've always been told it can only be a hobby and the very few who manage to make good money out of it and/or make a decent living are the exceptions.
So, what am I supposed to do?
Everytime I've tried a 'normal' job so far, I've felt extremely uncomfortable and a few times it even had an impact on my health.
You see, I thrive in creative environments and I wither in non creative, boring ones.
Ask me to come up with ideas, concepts, lyrics, stories, melodies, scripts, directive advice, designs, images, vocals (and anything artistic) and I will do so in no time.
I don't have to squeeze my brain to be creative, as creativity is my natural instinct, perception and way of thinking.
However, put me in a non creative job, and even though I can excel in it, I'll be depressed and stressed af. (hint: which is what's going on atm)
It's so fucking unfair that there aren't many opportunities for artists and creative people to make a living working within the arts unless they have connections. Some of us are introverts and cannot physically be 'sociable.' Also, when you make it compulsory for people to be part of unions to work in the arts you're excluding those of us who don't have the money and resources to do so.
I got two fucking degrees in the arts and so far I have not been able to find a job where I can put my degrees and creativity in use. And it's beyond frustrating. I'm going to be 30 in a year and a half, and I still don't know what I'm doing with my life.
You know what: I'm not a 'normal' person and I can't be a 'productive' and 'useful' member of society (the way most people perceive those).
I'm a fucking artist. And I cannot but only be that which I am.
Fuck it.
25/03/2017
Plus size stereotypes
There are so many stereotypes surrounding plus size people, it's infuriating.
More specifically, we're portrayed as lazy, stupid, boring etc.
Plus size women get mistreated by strangers who shout insults about our weight on the street, public servants who have an attitude towards us because they consider us lower beings; we get catcalled and harassed by men who think we should be happy to be violated because we won't be able to 'do better' due to our weight, we are discriminated against during interviews because employers think we may lead an unhealthy lifestyle or because they may think we're 'slow' or lazy. We're always seen as the 'fat friend' in our friend groups and social circles.
And don't even get me started on how society views and treats plus size men, how people treat them as disgusting creatures and how other men make fun of them pretending these are harmless 'man jokes.'
As a plus size woman I have a few things to say:
We're not your punching bags. Stop taking your problems out on us.
Plus size people don't exist for your aesthetic pleasure and we do not need to adhere to any of your stereotypical expectations. We also do not need to apologise for who we are and we do not owe you an explanation about our weight and lifestyle.
Plus size people don't exist for your aesthetic pleasure and we do not need to adhere to any of your stereotypical expectations. We also do not need to apologise for who we are and we do not owe you an explanation about our weight and lifestyle.
You have no right to make assumptions about our life and you aren't entitled to insult us and belittle us.
Plus size people come in all shapes and sizes and they can be:
Sexy, smart, professional, active, athletic, seductive, strong, beautiful, talented...
Sexy, smart, professional, active, athletic, seductive, strong, beautiful, talented...
And if you can't accept that, well, that's your problem, not ours.
23/02/2017
Dear medical professionals...
It seems free healthcare comes at the price of psychological trauma and bullying.
You may be scratching your head right now, thinking 'What is she on about?'
Well, there are many incidents I could refer to: from being prescribed medication that almost killed me, to receiving racism for being Greek, to being judged for my appearance, to not being taken seriously as a patient, etc. etc. etc.
Today, however, I'm going to refer to one specific issue that has been coming up over and over again.
Fatshaming.
So...
Dear medical professionals,
This is an open letter to all of you, to stop. Stop immediately. Stop fatshaming your patients.
Your job is to help people, not to judge them and be rude to them.
You're -supposedly- educated people, who try to help people be healthy, yet you attack their mental health ferociously, by fatshaming them.
Yes, being fat can be unhealthy. We know. So stop.
Nevertheless, there are many people who are fat and are healthy. And live long happy lives.
You have no way of knowing if someone is healthy just by looking at their weight.
There are many thin people who are extremely unhealthy.
But you should already know that.
You are not allowed to have biases. You are not allowed to be discriminatory. You are not allowed to fatshame.
Do you hear me?
Due to the nature of your job, you have to be aware of your wording and demeanor at all times.
Because your rudeness and assumptions can affect someone's life for ever.
So you don't get to be mean. You simply do not have that right.
You are in a position of power and you know it. But with power, comes great responsibility.
Patients are vulnerable, and they are in your hands. So you do not get to crush them whilst in there.
You ought to be polite and professional at all times.
And if you can't, change professions. For you exploiting your patients' vulnerability consists malpractice. And that makes you a criminal.
Kind Regards,
A patient who won't tolerate your ignorance anymore
12/02/2017
Various Incense Sticks Review
I have been thinking about writing a review on various incense sticks I have gotten myself in the past eight months, since my incense stick love was revived and I started experimenting with aromatherapy.
So here it is: A review of all the incense sticks I have purchased in the past eight months.
Every individual review will comprise of an image, a couple of sentences on the scent of the sticks, and a rating.
In the end of this blog entry you will find my final thoughts and my top 5 favourite incense sticks from the ones reviewed.
Enjoy! x
Stamford: Angel Dust
This one is one of those scents that I don't mind once in a while, but it's way too intense to use it often. It's supposed to have a lily scent.
Rating: 6/10
Stamford: Sandalwood
At some point I was obsessed with this scent! It has a wood, earthy feeling to it, so if you don't like that maybe Sandalwood is not for you. I personally love it when I want to meditate and relax.
Rating: 9/10
Stamford: Demon's Lust
I absolutely adore these! The scent is described as green oriental and I do find it has this sensual undertone that tingles your senses. Great if you have a special someone over and you want to set the mood. Bare in mind there is an earthy scent to it.
Rating: 8.5/10
Stamford: Vampire's Kiss
I find this scent extremely sensual, even more so than Demon's Lust. But it's also quite refreshing at the same time. It's described as a musky scent comprising of a variety of perfumery raw materials (as all Stamford incense do).
Rating: 9.5/10
Stamford: Fairy's Mist
This is a refreshing yet gentle scent of white rose. I do enjoy burning those incense sticks after a long day at work.
Rating: 8/10
Stamford: Witches' Curse
I have used them for sometime without realising their scent was Aloe Vera -which is my new obsession. I usually use these when I'm really pissed off at someone and negative energy lingers in my room. Such a powerful, yet calming scent.
Rating: 9.5/10
Stamford: Unicorn's Grace
Another Aloe Vera scent. This one has lower energy and in my opinion has a floral undertone to it. For some reason I have related it to Angel's Dust.
Rating: 8/10
Stamford: Pixie's Dance
These have become one of my favourite incense sticks! They have a vanilla scent -which I am in love with. I am a vanilla scent girl though, so no surprise there. Good for when you need a calming moment, or to just change the energy in your room.
Rating: 10/10
Stamford: Mermaid's Love
Another past obsession of mine! When I first burned those, I couldn't get enough of them! Another white rose in the Stamford collection, only this one has a sensual yet fresh undertone to it.
Rating: 9.5/10
Stamford: Werewolf's Bite
Frankincense and Myrrh. I was a bit hesitant with these incense sticks, but they grew in me with time. An interesting combination of power and calmness. I believe they could be used with spells or to enhance one's spiritual dreams.
Rating: 8.5/10
Stamford: Angel's Touch
Even though I'm generally not a fan of floral incense sticks, these ones are lovely. They have a sweet powdery floral aroma. Perfect for changing the energy of your room, and burning them could be a good way to start or end your day.
Rating: 6.5/10
Stamford: Water Dragon
White musk. It is not often that I find incense sticks that unbearable, but I am contemplating throwing these away. I just cannot seem to find their scent attractive at any time or situation.
Stamford: Fairy Dreams
As I've mentioned before, I'm a vanilla scent girl. This is one of my old time favourites. The sweet vanilla scent of those incense sticks is perfect for dreaming, relaxing and taking a bath. I usually burn them right before I go to sleep. (This scent reminds me Pagan Magic by a different company -it came in purple packaging).
Rating: 10/10
Stamford: Dragon's Blood
Dragon's Blood. I am not too bothered by this scent, but I am not in love either. I do enjoy burning these when the energy in the room feels dull.
Rating: 7/10
Stamford: White Sage
I was always curious about white sage, as I had heard and read a lot about it. At some point I was obsessed with these incense sticks! I use them to block negative energy from my space, cleanse the space and my energy. I have to admit if you use them too much, you do get a bit tired of the scent.
Rating: 9.5/10
Stamford: Vanilla
I don't like to repeat myself, but yeah, as you've noticed I am fond of vanilla scents. I usually burn these sticks when I want to relax or change the overall aroma in my room.
Rating: 9/10
Stamford: Pagan Magic
I actually thought this was the same Pagan Magic that came in a purple box and I had discovered years ago, but unfortunately, this is a very different scent. One I cannot stand. Apparently these specific incense sticks have an aphrodesia musk aroma.
Rating: 1/10
Stamford: Prosperity
Another sandalwood scent from Stamford. I burn these incense sticks when I'm not feeling very lucky or when I want to feel the energy flow in my room change. Not as heavy as the Sandalwood incense sticks, they have some fresh undertones to them.
Rating: 8/10
Stamford: Dragon's Fire
Roses. A gentle and discreet fragrance which fills the room with a pleasant vibe. As all Stamford incense sticks that come in a black box and red lettering it has a sensual, mystical undertone to it.
Rating: 9/10
Stamford: Egyptian Musk
Musky, earthy and with a hint of something ancient and sacred. These incense sticks are some of my favourites to burn when I want to meditate and relax.
Rating: 9/10
Tulasi: Jasmine
Way too strong for me.
Rating: 5/10
Tulasi: Sage
Quite a strong scent of sage, this one is not as soft and smooth as White Sage by Stamford. Still, you can use it to cleanse a space.
Rating: 6/10
Tulasi: Lemongrass
I had never smelled lemongrass incense sticks before. Way too earthy and uncomfortable for me. They literally smell like burnt grass.
Rating: 1/10
Tulasi: Lotus
I do enjoy this scent, but as it is extremely strong, I don't burn Lotus incense sticks that often.
Rating: 6.5/10
Tulasi: Sensuality
Patchouli, nutmeg and ylang ylang. This strong yet sensual combination of scents is great for an erotic session with your partner(s), a sensual massage or meditation. As it is so intense, I cannot burn those incense sticks too often.
Rating: 7.5/10
Tulasi: Moon
I am not sure what scent these incense sticks have, but it is not floral and it is not sensual. I can't really describe it. I have burned them in the past during the night, as the scent does feel right during that time.
Rating: 6/10
Tulasi: Night Queen
I am not a fan of floral scents usually, unless they are soft and/or sensual. And this incense sticks are exactly that. Again, like the Moon ones, I do find them more enticing during the night. Especially before I go to bed.
Rating: 8.5/10
Tulasi: Meditation
Vanilla, sandalwood and chamomile. An extremely strong blend that is perfect for meditation. I personally do not burn these incense sticks often due to the aroma.
Rating: 7/10
Tulasi: Sandalwood
Another earthy incense. This is very strong and woody. Way too strong for my tastes.
Rating 4.5/10
SAC: I tried Pine which did actually smell like burnt pine (or like a forest on fire) and Night Queen (not to be confused with Tulasi's one) which had an extremely heavy floral scent (to the point of causing me a migraine). Didn't enjoy either.
Sital: I tried Violet, which has a perfume-esque scent to it -if that makes sense. Very strong violet/floral scent, which I personally cannot stand for too long.
Lastly, I was trying to find a good vanilla incense stick -apart from Stamford's- and I decided to try GR's Royal Vanilla and Flute's Vanilla. The first one smelled nice before you burned it, but was way too strong as it was burning. The latter had a very bizarre and unpleasant vanilla scent, almost as if it had something else in it as well. Unfortunately, they didn't work for me.
I have also tried a few Chinese brands, but the letters are in Chinese, so I cannot find them in English.
I personally enjoy the ones that come in a black box a lot more as I am not fond of extremely floral scents.
Moreover, I feel the ones that come in a black box and have red lettering are more on the sensual side, and usually, these are some of my favourite incense sticks.
Even though I do like some incense sticks by Tulasi and other brands, I do feel Stamford is the one I am more attracted to.
My top 5 at the moment:
Lastly, I would suggest trying the 'mini-collection' versions like the Mythical Collection by Stamford.
Sources and suppliers
I wasn't able to find an official retailer website for the incense brands that were mentioned, but I am including a list with suppliers and also pages where I found the information about the scent details of each entry.
So here it is: A review of all the incense sticks I have purchased in the past eight months.
Every individual review will comprise of an image, a couple of sentences on the scent of the sticks, and a rating.
In the end of this blog entry you will find my final thoughts and my top 5 favourite incense sticks from the ones reviewed.
Enjoy! x
Reviews:
~Stamford~
Stamford: Angel Dust
This one is one of those scents that I don't mind once in a while, but it's way too intense to use it often. It's supposed to have a lily scent.
Rating: 6/10
Stamford: Sandalwood
At some point I was obsessed with this scent! It has a wood, earthy feeling to it, so if you don't like that maybe Sandalwood is not for you. I personally love it when I want to meditate and relax.
Rating: 9/10
Stamford: Demon's Lust
I absolutely adore these! The scent is described as green oriental and I do find it has this sensual undertone that tingles your senses. Great if you have a special someone over and you want to set the mood. Bare in mind there is an earthy scent to it.
Rating: 8.5/10
Stamford: Vampire's Kiss
I find this scent extremely sensual, even more so than Demon's Lust. But it's also quite refreshing at the same time. It's described as a musky scent comprising of a variety of perfumery raw materials (as all Stamford incense do).
Rating: 9.5/10
Stamford: Fairy's Mist
This is a refreshing yet gentle scent of white rose. I do enjoy burning those incense sticks after a long day at work.
Rating: 8/10
Stamford: Witches' Curse
I have used them for sometime without realising their scent was Aloe Vera -which is my new obsession. I usually use these when I'm really pissed off at someone and negative energy lingers in my room. Such a powerful, yet calming scent.
Rating: 9.5/10
Stamford: Unicorn's Grace
Another Aloe Vera scent. This one has lower energy and in my opinion has a floral undertone to it. For some reason I have related it to Angel's Dust.
Rating: 8/10
Stamford: Pixie's Dance
These have become one of my favourite incense sticks! They have a vanilla scent -which I am in love with. I am a vanilla scent girl though, so no surprise there. Good for when you need a calming moment, or to just change the energy in your room.
Rating: 10/10
Stamford: Mermaid's Love
Another past obsession of mine! When I first burned those, I couldn't get enough of them! Another white rose in the Stamford collection, only this one has a sensual yet fresh undertone to it.
Rating: 9.5/10
Stamford: Werewolf's Bite
Frankincense and Myrrh. I was a bit hesitant with these incense sticks, but they grew in me with time. An interesting combination of power and calmness. I believe they could be used with spells or to enhance one's spiritual dreams.
Rating: 8.5/10
Stamford: Angel's Touch
Even though I'm generally not a fan of floral incense sticks, these ones are lovely. They have a sweet powdery floral aroma. Perfect for changing the energy of your room, and burning them could be a good way to start or end your day.
Rating: 6.5/10
White musk. It is not often that I find incense sticks that unbearable, but I am contemplating throwing these away. I just cannot seem to find their scent attractive at any time or situation.
Rating: 1/10
Stamford: Fairy Dreams
As I've mentioned before, I'm a vanilla scent girl. This is one of my old time favourites. The sweet vanilla scent of those incense sticks is perfect for dreaming, relaxing and taking a bath. I usually burn them right before I go to sleep. (This scent reminds me Pagan Magic by a different company -it came in purple packaging).
Rating: 10/10
Stamford: Dragon's Blood
Dragon's Blood. I am not too bothered by this scent, but I am not in love either. I do enjoy burning these when the energy in the room feels dull.
Rating: 7/10
Stamford: White Sage
I was always curious about white sage, as I had heard and read a lot about it. At some point I was obsessed with these incense sticks! I use them to block negative energy from my space, cleanse the space and my energy. I have to admit if you use them too much, you do get a bit tired of the scent.
Rating: 9.5/10
Stamford: Vanilla
I don't like to repeat myself, but yeah, as you've noticed I am fond of vanilla scents. I usually burn these sticks when I want to relax or change the overall aroma in my room.
Rating: 9/10
Stamford: Pagan Magic
I actually thought this was the same Pagan Magic that came in a purple box and I had discovered years ago, but unfortunately, this is a very different scent. One I cannot stand. Apparently these specific incense sticks have an aphrodesia musk aroma.
Rating: 1/10
Stamford: Prosperity Another sandalwood scent from Stamford. I burn these incense sticks when I'm not feeling very lucky or when I want to feel the energy flow in my room change. Not as heavy as the Sandalwood incense sticks, they have some fresh undertones to them.
Rating: 8/10
Stamford: Dragon's Fire
Roses. A gentle and discreet fragrance which fills the room with a pleasant vibe. As all Stamford incense sticks that come in a black box and red lettering it has a sensual, mystical undertone to it.
Rating: 9/10
Stamford: Egyptian Musk
Musky, earthy and with a hint of something ancient and sacred. These incense sticks are some of my favourites to burn when I want to meditate and relax.
Rating: 9/10
~Tulasi~
Way too strong for me.
Rating: 5/10
Tulasi: Sage
Quite a strong scent of sage, this one is not as soft and smooth as White Sage by Stamford. Still, you can use it to cleanse a space.
Rating: 6/10
Tulasi: Lemongrass
I had never smelled lemongrass incense sticks before. Way too earthy and uncomfortable for me. They literally smell like burnt grass.
Rating: 1/10
Tulasi: Lotus
I do enjoy this scent, but as it is extremely strong, I don't burn Lotus incense sticks that often.
Rating: 6.5/10
Tulasi: Sensuality
Patchouli, nutmeg and ylang ylang. This strong yet sensual combination of scents is great for an erotic session with your partner(s), a sensual massage or meditation. As it is so intense, I cannot burn those incense sticks too often.
Rating: 7.5/10
Tulasi: Moon
I am not sure what scent these incense sticks have, but it is not floral and it is not sensual. I can't really describe it. I have burned them in the past during the night, as the scent does feel right during that time.
Rating: 6/10
Tulasi: Night Queen
I am not a fan of floral scents usually, unless they are soft and/or sensual. And this incense sticks are exactly that. Again, like the Moon ones, I do find them more enticing during the night. Especially before I go to bed.
Rating: 8.5/10
Tulasi: Meditation
Vanilla, sandalwood and chamomile. An extremely strong blend that is perfect for meditation. I personally do not burn these incense sticks often due to the aroma.
Rating: 7/10
Tulasi: Sandalwood
Another earthy incense. This is very strong and woody. Way too strong for my tastes.
Rating 4.5/10
~Various Brands~
As this post is too long already, here I will mention epigrammatically a few other incense sticks I did not enjoy due to their extremely strong scents.
Hem: I tried their Amber incense sticks which I did not like at all as they had a strong wooden/earthy scent, and their Almond ones, which I don't mind as they smell like almond, but wouldn't buy again.
SAC: I tried Pine which did actually smell like burnt pine (or like a forest on fire) and Night Queen (not to be confused with Tulasi's one) which had an extremely heavy floral scent (to the point of causing me a migraine). Didn't enjoy either.
Sital: I tried Violet, which has a perfume-esque scent to it -if that makes sense. Very strong violet/floral scent, which I personally cannot stand for too long.
Lastly, I was trying to find a good vanilla incense stick -apart from Stamford's- and I decided to try GR's Royal Vanilla and Flute's Vanilla. The first one smelled nice before you burned it, but was way too strong as it was burning. The latter had a very bizarre and unpleasant vanilla scent, almost as if it had something else in it as well. Unfortunately, they didn't work for me.
I have also tried a few Chinese brands, but the letters are in Chinese, so I cannot find them in English.
Final thoughts and favourites
It seems that the font colour and box colour in Stamford incense sticks isn't a coincidence. My understanding is that the ones that come in a black box are more aetherial, sensual and kind of gothic if you'd like, whereas the ones that come in a white box are more floral and intense.I personally enjoy the ones that come in a black box a lot more as I am not fond of extremely floral scents.
Moreover, I feel the ones that come in a black box and have red lettering are more on the sensual side, and usually, these are some of my favourite incense sticks.
Even though I do like some incense sticks by Tulasi and other brands, I do feel Stamford is the one I am more attracted to.
My top 5 at the moment:
- Sandalwood
- Vampire's Kiss
- Fairy Dreams
- Witches' Curse
- Pixie's Dance
Lastly, I would suggest trying the 'mini-collection' versions like the Mythical Collection by Stamford.
This way you can try various scents before you commit to buying the larger versions (the mini ones have 8 or 5 incense sticks each usually).
Sources and suppliers
I wasn't able to find an official retailer website for the incense brands that were mentioned, but I am including a list with suppliers and also pages where I found the information about the scent details of each entry.
- Ebay supplier
- Scent details and information (amazon retailer)
- Scent details and retailer
- Google (for images)
- Scent details and retailer
- Scent details and retailer
Conclusion
I hope you found this list useful. Remember, this is my personal opinion. Other people may have a completely different reaction towards these scents.
I have actually buyed everything on this list with my own money, a.k.a I'm not sponsored.
I will keep updating the list with every new scent I purchase.
Peace
05/02/2017
Funny fat girls
I see a lot of fellow fat ladies thinking they have to be funny; they have to perform all the time to blend in. And so they force themselves to do so. It seems there is this notion that since we're fat, our only option to be attractive in any way is to be funny. Nope. You don't have to feel the need to 'perform' and be 'funny' because of your weight. You are a valuable, and sexy and attractive person regardless.
There is no need to feed into a stereotype "she's not hot, but she's funny." You can be fat and hot, and if you're funny that's great as well, but you don't have to force yourself to make jokes and entertain people. And for the love of me, you don't have to make fat jokes aimed at yourself to show people you're funny; to prove you can 'fit in.' I've seen many times fat gals making fun of themselves, to the point where I wanted to cry at all the mean things there were saying. You don't have to make fun of yourselves to be cool. You don't have to use horrible and traumatising language aimed at yourself to be accepted. And if the people around you make you feel like you have to do those things, then you need to kick those people out of your life. Lastly, please, don't let movies be your example about how you should dress and behave as a fat person. Media's portrayal of fat people is inaccurate and harmful. They play into toxic cliches and stereotypes that either ostracise fat people or don't give them space to be themselves to exist in society.
04/02/2017
Pregnant People
I read responses to this: bma-warns-against-using-expectant-mothers-for-pregnant-women-as-it-may-offend-intersex-men
(calling pregnant persons 'pregnant persons' instead of expecting mothers, as many trans males, agender, gender neutral, gender fluid or intersex persons can get pregnant)
A lot of women were angry, saying they want to be called 'expecting mothers,' that they waited their whole lives to be mothers, that this takes away from their motherhood and many went as far as to make transphobic comments.
I personally have no interest in having children, being a mother etc.
However, as a person who identifies as a woman, I have one thing to tell them:
If you're so insecure about your femininity and motherhood, that you get offended by being called a 'person,' then that's on you.
Stop reflecting your insecurities and fragile femininity on others.
However, as a person who identifies as a woman, I have one thing to tell them:
If you're so insecure about your femininity and motherhood, that you get offended by being called a 'person,' then that's on you.
Stop reflecting your insecurities and fragile femininity on others.
Anyway, you could request your nurses, midwives, doctor etc. to call you an expecting mom if you want.
So, chill the fuck out and let other people with female reproductive organs have their space and be respected as well.
So, chill the fuck out and let other people with female reproductive organs have their space and be respected as well.
Accept that not only women can get pregnant and give birth. There are many people who don't identify as female and have female reproductive organs. And you have no fucking right to dismiss them because you want 'motherhood exclusivity.'
31/01/2017
The first 11 days of the end of the world
A Creative Writing tutor said us, writers, shouldn't share too much on social media. We should limit our online presence, for fear of how what we write can affect our futures.
And even though I, too, recognise that as a blogger and youtuber, as an instagrammer and a person with relatively strong social media presence, I run the risk of revealing too much, I cannot help myself.
Because I have a natural urge to create art and share it with the world. Now, I may have also shared personal moments, but it was always was the greater good, so that others who may experience similar situations, do not feel alone.
Or I may have shared my views on politics, and the reality we live in.
But as an artist, as a creator, isn't that what I am supposed to do?
Artists are special -and magical- creatures, people who can create from scratch, in addition to being inspired by what happens around them.
And especially in times like these, when political instability and irrational governing threatens the very core of our humanity, it is my duty, as an artist -and a human- to create, to act, to speak up.
I am an emotional person. A person who can empathise. When others feel pain, I can feel their pain, I can understand their position.
So, to see that which has taken place in the past 11 days... I am devastated.
At first came shock. Then, denial. Then, acceptance. Now, depression.
At 28 years old, I have no hope for the future.
I strongly believe the world is so fucked up, that it cannot be fixed in one, two -or even five- generations.
It took a very long time for things to become the way they are now, and that cannot be undone so easily. If I wasn't weary of copyright, I would share a few poems I wrote these days, but oh well. Maybe in the future.
We live in financial slavery, in ill capitalism, in cultural imperialism, in environmental crisis, in severe inequality...
The world we live in is controlled by an elite. And that elite will do anything and everything to stay at the top of the pyramide.
Not sure we stand a chance against them, despite the fact that we are a majority.
And that is because there is another factor that plays a role in this: the ego.
Which can also cause stupidity and people to be stuck up in their ways and blinded.
Good luck to all of us my friends.
Good luck to the underprivileged, good luck to the ones belonging to marginalised social groups, good luck to the ones who aren't brainwashed zombies and suffer due to the knowledge...
And good luck to us surviving by the rule of the ignorants, who -very unfortunately, make decisions for the rest of us...
And even though I, too, recognise that as a blogger and youtuber, as an instagrammer and a person with relatively strong social media presence, I run the risk of revealing too much, I cannot help myself.
Because I have a natural urge to create art and share it with the world. Now, I may have also shared personal moments, but it was always was the greater good, so that others who may experience similar situations, do not feel alone.
Or I may have shared my views on politics, and the reality we live in.
But as an artist, as a creator, isn't that what I am supposed to do?
Artists are special -and magical- creatures, people who can create from scratch, in addition to being inspired by what happens around them.
And especially in times like these, when political instability and irrational governing threatens the very core of our humanity, it is my duty, as an artist -and a human- to create, to act, to speak up.
I am an emotional person. A person who can empathise. When others feel pain, I can feel their pain, I can understand their position.
So, to see that which has taken place in the past 11 days... I am devastated.
At first came shock. Then, denial. Then, acceptance. Now, depression.
At 28 years old, I have no hope for the future.
I strongly believe the world is so fucked up, that it cannot be fixed in one, two -or even five- generations.
It took a very long time for things to become the way they are now, and that cannot be undone so easily. If I wasn't weary of copyright, I would share a few poems I wrote these days, but oh well. Maybe in the future.
We live in financial slavery, in ill capitalism, in cultural imperialism, in environmental crisis, in severe inequality...
The world we live in is controlled by an elite. And that elite will do anything and everything to stay at the top of the pyramide.
Not sure we stand a chance against them, despite the fact that we are a majority.
And that is because there is another factor that plays a role in this: the ego.
Which can also cause stupidity and people to be stuck up in their ways and blinded.
Good luck to all of us my friends.
Good luck to the underprivileged, good luck to the ones belonging to marginalised social groups, good luck to the ones who aren't brainwashed zombies and suffer due to the knowledge...
And good luck to us surviving by the rule of the ignorants, who -very unfortunately, make decisions for the rest of us...
14/01/2017
Dear tattoo magazines
Dear tattoo magazines,
Please stop sexualising the females on your covers and spreads.
Your audience comprises of males for the biggest part. But that is because you keep on choosing to be disrespectful towards females.
Your audience comprises of males for the biggest part. But that is because you keep on choosing to be disrespectful towards females.
The way you portray tattooed females implies that all tattooed females are 'whores,' 'kinky,' 'dirty,' always wear revealing clothes and don't mind showing their tattoos. That is harmful.
Even though there's nothing wrong with a female being promiscuous, kinky or wearing revealing clothes, there shouldn't be a connection of those attributes to tattooed females by default.
You also need to teach your audience to stop touching tattooed females -or anyone for that matter- without their permission.
My tattoos aren't an invitation for anyone to grab my arms or touch them.
My tattoos aren't an indication of my sex life, my intelligence, my career path etc.
My tattoos -along with their aesthetic and meanings- are personal, and I choose if and when to display them, and whom I will let touch my skin.
I'm sick and tired of tattoo magazines being so 'macho' centric, that all they do is cater to harmful toxic masculinity demands and expectations.
My tattoos aren't an indication of my sex life, my intelligence, my career path etc.
My tattoos -along with their aesthetic and meanings- are personal, and I choose if and when to display them, and whom I will let touch my skin.
I'm sick and tired of tattoo magazines being so 'macho' centric, that all they do is cater to harmful toxic masculinity demands and expectations.
03/01/2017
Extreme housemate horror story
During my last week in uni halls, and after looking for a place for about 2 months, I was very desperate. I needed to lower my standards and just find anything, otherwise, I would be homeless.
I went to a viewing that week, and I was offered a place in the house. I was a bit worried as there was no contract -which means zero security for me- but I had no other choice at that point.
After I moved in, I found out we would be 6 people instead of 5 -which was what I had been told before. One of the housemates, let's call him X, was away during the viewing, so they forgot to mention he lived there too.
I also found out that I had been lied to about who lived in my room before me and the situation of how the previous tenant left.
Less than 3 weeks that I lived there, one housemate's girlfriend moved in as well. And so, without being asked or informed of that fact, I ended up living in a house with 7 people instead of 5.
I quickly realised that X's girlfriend, let's call her G, was quite rude and always had an expression on her face as if she was annoyed by most of us.
I generally tried my best to be super polite to everyone, cleaned after myself, cleaned after other people, paid on time, contributed to bills, notified if I had guests etc.
During my 2nd week in the house, the pre-previous tenant asked me for her stuff from the room. I had never met her and I explained I threw everything away. She sarcastically wished me to 'enjoy the house.'
Right then and there, I knew something was off.
On my 3rd week, I got verbally attacked by G. She called me over the top, exaggerating, a bad fit for the house and a racist. She kept saying she doesn't feel comfortable in her own house (implying it's my fault), ignoring the fact this wasn't her house, but our house -supposedly. And of course she never cared that I didn't call this place my home, and didn't feel comfortable in it, because of her and X.
She admitted she had a bad day at work and took it out on me. I was calm and polite, explained what she did was wrong, and accepted her apology.
The conversation had started with the fact that there was drama in the house because some people were stealing food. And because I supported the person whose food was being stolen, let's call him A, she didn't like that.
She also didn't like that I'm not like the girl who lived in my room before. I later found out that girl was a very quiet person, who never complained because she was scared of G and X.
During the same month, X made some horrendous sexist 'jokes,' which resulted in the new housemate, let's call her E, crying. I supported her and told X off. He verbally attacked me, and left our group conversation on a chat app -where everything took place.
I was actually surprised E's boyfriend, who was also a housemate, let's call him K, didn't stand up for her.
I had stopped speaking to G and I was very happy about that. Not having to deal with her and X made my life in the house easier, almost pleasant.
Then, one day, as I was making my lunch using a pot from the communal lot, she said she wanted her pot. I explained this pot was in the communal lot. She said she doesn't mind people using it, but when she asks for it she wants it. I got pissed off of course and emptied my food into another pot, and then washed her pot and gave it to her.
She didn't like my reaction and started a whole dramatic situation.
I, again, was the bigger person and tried to defuse the situation. I also asked her what her problem was with me so we could resolve it. She claimed she had no issue.
During the same month (November), another housemate was rude to me on the group chat, when I complained about the horrible internet connection we had. Even though he actually had his own router in his room, which he only revealed after I complained. I knew from day one as I had followed the cables and saw they went into his room, but it just shows... Let's call him C. C is one of those people who wants to be left alone, and as long as he's doing alright, he gives no fucks about anyone else. He's also very grumpy and at times unreasonably rude to people.
During the same month, I was actually attacked by almost the whole house for complaining about how expensive our internet connection was, when we could pay half if we changed companies and packages.
Day by day I realised I was by myself. I had no contract. The landlord didn't care about anything but rent. I was alone.
E was kinda nice to me a few times. But she became closer to G and started changing her behaviour towards me.
The only one who consistently supported me was A. A is lgbt+ and we had gotten closer on those grounds, as I was the only ally in the house.
G and X are very homophobic and K was homophobic in secret.
The more I tried to not speak with G the more she provoked me.
Some of the things she said in front of me or to me:
-She doesn't like British people and feels she can't make friends in UK (I wonder why)
-She doesn't like people with piercings and tattoos (I got both)
-She doesn't like people who get plastic surgery (but said if she could afford it she would get it)
-She thinks people with disabilities shouldn't get as much help as 'normal' people (I worked with uni students with disabilities)
-She thinks gay people are unnatural (I am an ally)
-She thinks trans people who have committed suicide are stupid (I am an ally)
-She told me if she was fat she'd die (I am fat)
-She thinks I'm a student since I worked at a university at the time and according to her my job wasn't a real job
-She has said wearing makeup to work is stupid (when I was off to work and was wearing makeup). A few days later I caught her wearing makeup to work as well
Go figure.
Just before the holiday break, G and X had a huge fight. They were banging things, slamming doors and shouting. I had the misfortune of being their neighbour, so I could see my furniture that was touching the wall shaking from all the banging. I think X actually beat G up. And I didn't think it's the first time. All this happened around and after midnight. G left the house, and then came back and slept on the couch.
Even though they woke me up, I didn't complain.
2 days later, I was in my room singing around 8pm. It's Saturday. She texted me to say I was too loud. I told her that when she and her boyfriend made noise after midnight I didn't complain. She used excuses.
Then I contacted E, in hope of getting some support (since E and her boyfriend, K, make noise all the time after 11pm, playing music, singing etc.). She said my singing was 'wobbly.' Now bear in mind I have helped E practice her singing. She did apologise in the end, but still...
During the last weekend of 2016, X returned to the house from his holidays, without G. He had a huge party without asking anyone (it was in the house rules that if you have a party you have to ask).
Actually, G had told me once, when I asked why I am the only one who notifies when she has guests, that it's because: "We know everyone else." When I said I didn't know any of her guests, she remained silent.
Anyway, X and his friends got drunk, smashed things, slammed doors until 11pm.
C, who was in the house, and always complains when people slam the doors accidentally during the day, didn't say a thing.
Next day X brought more friends over to have a barbeque. Again, he didn't notify us. Thankfully, I was leaving the house for the weekend.
Then, I returned for the first time in 2017. I had gone to the supermarket, so I opened the fridge to put my food on my shelf. Someone had moved my stuff and had put a pot with meat on my shelf. They all knew I'm vegetarian.
I messaged the group with a picture of the pot and said I'm going to put it on the kitchen working space.
An hour or so later, I was in my room and heard X slamming doors, the cupboards, and trying to intimidate me with noise -as he did very often. He was also shouting on his phone.
I went downstairs, I said happy new year and then tried to explain what happened with the pot. He started shouting in my face: "You don't touch my stuff!" I tried to explain that I said I'd move the pot on the group. He then went on to shout that he wasn't on the group.
Again, calmly, I asked him why he is shouting, and tried to explain this was my shelf, and he was the one who moved my stuff to put his meat dish. He shouted "End of conversation" in my face as if he wanted to physically attack me.
Next day I found out he used my cutting board as well, which is on my cupboard. We're not supposed to use stuff that is on personal cupboards.
A few other 'fun facts:'
G told E that she didn't like British politeness and people saying sorry.
G is almost 10 years younger than X, and they have been together since she was 16 years old.
G was married to X, divorced him and then got back with him.
X was trying to be the 'alpha male' of the house, and he often shouted to the people who belong to minorities (e.g. me and A), thinking he's macho this way.
Both X and G believe this was their house, they felt like they were the king and queen, and the rest of us peasants. I wondered why they didn't rent the whole house by themselves since they felt this way...
X had displayed rude and demeaning behaviour to other housemates as well, in the form of 'jokes.' And if someone tried to hold him accountable for his bullshit he claimed that was "his sense of humour".
Around Christmas, X and G broke up. They still lived in the same room.
A few weeks later, E took one of my lunch boxes from my private cupboard for two days, and only told me after she had taken it. Obviously I was pissed off and explained that was not ok. She said she thought she could 'get away with it' because it was her...
Then, X left the house finally, but E started stealing my stuff continuously. C had his stuff stolen as well, so he moved everything he had in the kitchen to his room.
Unfortunately, my room was too small, so it's hard for me to do the same. I moved all my stuff from the shower to my room though, as my toothpaste kept on getting stolen -by E.
E, G and K kept making noise all the time, slamming doors in the middle of the night, having friends over without asking the rest of us, having parties and making living in the house unbearable.
I finally managed to give everyone 1 month's notice that I'd be leaving the house, and K got on my case because he wanted me to keep paying rent, even if they didn't have a new tenant after 1 month. Our agreement didn't say anything about that. E of course had to get involved as well. She turned into the new G, complaining constantly, even though she didn't abide by the house rules.
She told me off for reacting to K's absurd statement. I reacted in my room, as I was talking to my boyfriend, and she complained I was too loud and they heard I called them names.
Her and K played music all the time, came back drugged at 4am and woke me up (they made a habbit of taking drugs in the house), and I had never complained.
My health kept deteriorating whilst I lived in the house, and instead of leaving me alone they kept on pushing me.
A couple of weeks prior to my move G knocked on my door asking for change. After all that she had done to me, she casually knocked on my door and expected me to give her change. Of course I didn't give her anything. Then, at 1am I went to the loo, and on my way out she opened the door of her room (it's next to the loo) and smiled at me saying she didn't mean to scare me. I muttered 'For fucks sake' and shut my door. Her smile was creepier and scarier than a dark downtown alley after 2am.
Finally, a few days before my move G tried to "make amends with me" aka force me to like her... But it doesn't matter...
I'm out of that horrible place!
I went to a viewing that week, and I was offered a place in the house. I was a bit worried as there was no contract -which means zero security for me- but I had no other choice at that point.
After I moved in, I found out we would be 6 people instead of 5 -which was what I had been told before. One of the housemates, let's call him X, was away during the viewing, so they forgot to mention he lived there too.
I also found out that I had been lied to about who lived in my room before me and the situation of how the previous tenant left.
Less than 3 weeks that I lived there, one housemate's girlfriend moved in as well. And so, without being asked or informed of that fact, I ended up living in a house with 7 people instead of 5.
I quickly realised that X's girlfriend, let's call her G, was quite rude and always had an expression on her face as if she was annoyed by most of us.
I generally tried my best to be super polite to everyone, cleaned after myself, cleaned after other people, paid on time, contributed to bills, notified if I had guests etc.
During my 2nd week in the house, the pre-previous tenant asked me for her stuff from the room. I had never met her and I explained I threw everything away. She sarcastically wished me to 'enjoy the house.'
Right then and there, I knew something was off.
On my 3rd week, I got verbally attacked by G. She called me over the top, exaggerating, a bad fit for the house and a racist. She kept saying she doesn't feel comfortable in her own house (implying it's my fault), ignoring the fact this wasn't her house, but our house -supposedly. And of course she never cared that I didn't call this place my home, and didn't feel comfortable in it, because of her and X.
She admitted she had a bad day at work and took it out on me. I was calm and polite, explained what she did was wrong, and accepted her apology.
The conversation had started with the fact that there was drama in the house because some people were stealing food. And because I supported the person whose food was being stolen, let's call him A, she didn't like that.
She also didn't like that I'm not like the girl who lived in my room before. I later found out that girl was a very quiet person, who never complained because she was scared of G and X.
During the same month, X made some horrendous sexist 'jokes,' which resulted in the new housemate, let's call her E, crying. I supported her and told X off. He verbally attacked me, and left our group conversation on a chat app -where everything took place.
I was actually surprised E's boyfriend, who was also a housemate, let's call him K, didn't stand up for her.
I had stopped speaking to G and I was very happy about that. Not having to deal with her and X made my life in the house easier, almost pleasant.
Then, one day, as I was making my lunch using a pot from the communal lot, she said she wanted her pot. I explained this pot was in the communal lot. She said she doesn't mind people using it, but when she asks for it she wants it. I got pissed off of course and emptied my food into another pot, and then washed her pot and gave it to her.
She didn't like my reaction and started a whole dramatic situation.
I, again, was the bigger person and tried to defuse the situation. I also asked her what her problem was with me so we could resolve it. She claimed she had no issue.
During the same month (November), another housemate was rude to me on the group chat, when I complained about the horrible internet connection we had. Even though he actually had his own router in his room, which he only revealed after I complained. I knew from day one as I had followed the cables and saw they went into his room, but it just shows... Let's call him C. C is one of those people who wants to be left alone, and as long as he's doing alright, he gives no fucks about anyone else. He's also very grumpy and at times unreasonably rude to people.
During the same month, I was actually attacked by almost the whole house for complaining about how expensive our internet connection was, when we could pay half if we changed companies and packages.
Day by day I realised I was by myself. I had no contract. The landlord didn't care about anything but rent. I was alone.
E was kinda nice to me a few times. But she became closer to G and started changing her behaviour towards me.
The only one who consistently supported me was A. A is lgbt+ and we had gotten closer on those grounds, as I was the only ally in the house.
G and X are very homophobic and K was homophobic in secret.
The more I tried to not speak with G the more she provoked me.
Some of the things she said in front of me or to me:
-She doesn't like British people and feels she can't make friends in UK (I wonder why)
-She doesn't like people with piercings and tattoos (I got both)
-She doesn't like people who get plastic surgery (but said if she could afford it she would get it)
-She thinks people with disabilities shouldn't get as much help as 'normal' people (I worked with uni students with disabilities)
-She thinks gay people are unnatural (I am an ally)
-She thinks trans people who have committed suicide are stupid (I am an ally)
-She told me if she was fat she'd die (I am fat)
-She thinks I'm a student since I worked at a university at the time and according to her my job wasn't a real job
-She has said wearing makeup to work is stupid (when I was off to work and was wearing makeup). A few days later I caught her wearing makeup to work as well
Go figure.
Just before the holiday break, G and X had a huge fight. They were banging things, slamming doors and shouting. I had the misfortune of being their neighbour, so I could see my furniture that was touching the wall shaking from all the banging. I think X actually beat G up. And I didn't think it's the first time. All this happened around and after midnight. G left the house, and then came back and slept on the couch.
Even though they woke me up, I didn't complain.
2 days later, I was in my room singing around 8pm. It's Saturday. She texted me to say I was too loud. I told her that when she and her boyfriend made noise after midnight I didn't complain. She used excuses.
Then I contacted E, in hope of getting some support (since E and her boyfriend, K, make noise all the time after 11pm, playing music, singing etc.). She said my singing was 'wobbly.' Now bear in mind I have helped E practice her singing. She did apologise in the end, but still...
During the last weekend of 2016, X returned to the house from his holidays, without G. He had a huge party without asking anyone (it was in the house rules that if you have a party you have to ask).
Actually, G had told me once, when I asked why I am the only one who notifies when she has guests, that it's because: "We know everyone else." When I said I didn't know any of her guests, she remained silent.
Anyway, X and his friends got drunk, smashed things, slammed doors until 11pm.
C, who was in the house, and always complains when people slam the doors accidentally during the day, didn't say a thing.
Next day X brought more friends over to have a barbeque. Again, he didn't notify us. Thankfully, I was leaving the house for the weekend.
Then, I returned for the first time in 2017. I had gone to the supermarket, so I opened the fridge to put my food on my shelf. Someone had moved my stuff and had put a pot with meat on my shelf. They all knew I'm vegetarian.
I messaged the group with a picture of the pot and said I'm going to put it on the kitchen working space.
An hour or so later, I was in my room and heard X slamming doors, the cupboards, and trying to intimidate me with noise -as he did very often. He was also shouting on his phone.
I went downstairs, I said happy new year and then tried to explain what happened with the pot. He started shouting in my face: "You don't touch my stuff!" I tried to explain that I said I'd move the pot on the group. He then went on to shout that he wasn't on the group.
Again, calmly, I asked him why he is shouting, and tried to explain this was my shelf, and he was the one who moved my stuff to put his meat dish. He shouted "End of conversation" in my face as if he wanted to physically attack me.
Next day I found out he used my cutting board as well, which is on my cupboard. We're not supposed to use stuff that is on personal cupboards.
A few other 'fun facts:'
G told E that she didn't like British politeness and people saying sorry.
G is almost 10 years younger than X, and they have been together since she was 16 years old.
G was married to X, divorced him and then got back with him.
X was trying to be the 'alpha male' of the house, and he often shouted to the people who belong to minorities (e.g. me and A), thinking he's macho this way.
Both X and G believe this was their house, they felt like they were the king and queen, and the rest of us peasants. I wondered why they didn't rent the whole house by themselves since they felt this way...
X had displayed rude and demeaning behaviour to other housemates as well, in the form of 'jokes.' And if someone tried to hold him accountable for his bullshit he claimed that was "his sense of humour".
Around Christmas, X and G broke up. They still lived in the same room.
A few weeks later, E took one of my lunch boxes from my private cupboard for two days, and only told me after she had taken it. Obviously I was pissed off and explained that was not ok. She said she thought she could 'get away with it' because it was her...
Then, X left the house finally, but E started stealing my stuff continuously. C had his stuff stolen as well, so he moved everything he had in the kitchen to his room.
Unfortunately, my room was too small, so it's hard for me to do the same. I moved all my stuff from the shower to my room though, as my toothpaste kept on getting stolen -by E.
E, G and K kept making noise all the time, slamming doors in the middle of the night, having friends over without asking the rest of us, having parties and making living in the house unbearable.
I finally managed to give everyone 1 month's notice that I'd be leaving the house, and K got on my case because he wanted me to keep paying rent, even if they didn't have a new tenant after 1 month. Our agreement didn't say anything about that. E of course had to get involved as well. She turned into the new G, complaining constantly, even though she didn't abide by the house rules.
She told me off for reacting to K's absurd statement. I reacted in my room, as I was talking to my boyfriend, and she complained I was too loud and they heard I called them names.
Her and K played music all the time, came back drugged at 4am and woke me up (they made a habbit of taking drugs in the house), and I had never complained.
My health kept deteriorating whilst I lived in the house, and instead of leaving me alone they kept on pushing me.
A couple of weeks prior to my move G knocked on my door asking for change. After all that she had done to me, she casually knocked on my door and expected me to give her change. Of course I didn't give her anything. Then, at 1am I went to the loo, and on my way out she opened the door of her room (it's next to the loo) and smiled at me saying she didn't mean to scare me. I muttered 'For fucks sake' and shut my door. Her smile was creepier and scarier than a dark downtown alley after 2am.
Finally, a few days before my move G tried to "make amends with me" aka force me to like her... But it doesn't matter...
I'm out of that horrible place!
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