A Creative Writing tutor said us, writers, shouldn't share too much on social media. We should limit our online presence, for fear of how what we write can affect our futures.
And even though I, too, recognise that as a blogger and youtuber, as an instagrammer and a person with relatively strong social media presence, I run the risk of revealing too much, I cannot help myself.
Because I have a natural urge to create art and share it with the world. Now, I may have also shared personal moments, but it was always was the greater good, so that others who may experience similar situations, do not feel alone.
Or I may have shared my views on politics, and the reality we live in.
But as an artist, as a creator, isn't that what I am supposed to do?
Artists are special -and magical- creatures, people who can create from scratch, in addition to being inspired by what happens around them.
And especially in times like these, when political instability and irrational governing threatens the very core of our humanity, it is my duty, as an artist -and a human- to create, to act, to speak up.
I am an emotional person. A person who can empathise. When others feel pain, I can feel their pain, I can understand their position.
So, to see that which has taken place in the past 11 days... I am devastated.
At first came shock. Then, denial. Then, acceptance. Now, depression.
At 28 years old, I have no hope for the future.
I strongly believe the world is so fucked up, that it cannot be fixed in one, two -or even five- generations.
It took a very long time for things to become the way they are now, and that cannot be undone so easily. If I wasn't weary of copyright, I would share a few poems I wrote these days, but oh well. Maybe in the future.
We live in financial slavery, in ill capitalism, in cultural imperialism, in environmental crisis, in severe inequality...
The world we live in is controlled by an elite. And that elite will do anything and everything to stay at the top of the pyramide.
Not sure we stand a chance against them, despite the fact that we are a majority.
And that is because there is another factor that plays a role in this: the ego.
Which can also cause stupidity and people to be stuck up in their ways and blinded.
Good luck to all of us my friends.
Good luck to the underprivileged, good luck to the ones belonging to marginalised social groups, good luck to the ones who aren't brainwashed zombies and suffer due to the knowledge...
And good luck to us surviving by the rule of the ignorants, who -very unfortunately, make decisions for the rest of us...
14/01/2017
Dear tattoo magazines
Dear tattoo magazines,
Please stop sexualising the females on your covers and spreads.
Your audience comprises of males for the biggest part. But that is because you keep on choosing to be disrespectful towards females.
Your audience comprises of males for the biggest part. But that is because you keep on choosing to be disrespectful towards females.
The way you portray tattooed females implies that all tattooed females are 'whores,' 'kinky,' 'dirty,' always wear revealing clothes and don't mind showing their tattoos. That is harmful.
Even though there's nothing wrong with a female being promiscuous, kinky or wearing revealing clothes, there shouldn't be a connection of those attributes to tattooed females by default.
You also need to teach your audience to stop touching tattooed females -or anyone for that matter- without their permission.
My tattoos aren't an invitation for anyone to grab my arms or touch them.
My tattoos aren't an indication of my sex life, my intelligence, my career path etc.
My tattoos -along with their aesthetic and meanings- are personal, and I choose if and when to display them, and whom I will let touch my skin.
I'm sick and tired of tattoo magazines being so 'macho' centric, that all they do is cater to harmful toxic masculinity demands and expectations.
My tattoos aren't an indication of my sex life, my intelligence, my career path etc.
My tattoos -along with their aesthetic and meanings- are personal, and I choose if and when to display them, and whom I will let touch my skin.
I'm sick and tired of tattoo magazines being so 'macho' centric, that all they do is cater to harmful toxic masculinity demands and expectations.
03/01/2017
Extreme housemate horror story
During my last week in uni halls, and after looking for a place for about 2 months, I was very desperate. I needed to lower my standards and just find anything, otherwise, I would be homeless.
I went to a viewing that week, and I was offered a place in the house. I was a bit worried as there was no contract -which means zero security for me- but I had no other choice at that point.
After I moved in, I found out we would be 6 people instead of 5 -which was what I had been told before. One of the housemates, let's call him X, was away during the viewing, so they forgot to mention he lived there too.
I also found out that I had been lied to about who lived in my room before me and the situation of how the previous tenant left.
Less than 3 weeks that I lived there, one housemate's girlfriend moved in as well. And so, without being asked or informed of that fact, I ended up living in a house with 7 people instead of 5.
I quickly realised that X's girlfriend, let's call her G, was quite rude and always had an expression on her face as if she was annoyed by most of us.
I generally tried my best to be super polite to everyone, cleaned after myself, cleaned after other people, paid on time, contributed to bills, notified if I had guests etc.
During my 2nd week in the house, the pre-previous tenant asked me for her stuff from the room. I had never met her and I explained I threw everything away. She sarcastically wished me to 'enjoy the house.'
Right then and there, I knew something was off.
On my 3rd week, I got verbally attacked by G. She called me over the top, exaggerating, a bad fit for the house and a racist. She kept saying she doesn't feel comfortable in her own house (implying it's my fault), ignoring the fact this wasn't her house, but our house -supposedly. And of course she never cared that I didn't call this place my home, and didn't feel comfortable in it, because of her and X.
She admitted she had a bad day at work and took it out on me. I was calm and polite, explained what she did was wrong, and accepted her apology.
The conversation had started with the fact that there was drama in the house because some people were stealing food. And because I supported the person whose food was being stolen, let's call him A, she didn't like that.
She also didn't like that I'm not like the girl who lived in my room before. I later found out that girl was a very quiet person, who never complained because she was scared of G and X.
During the same month, X made some horrendous sexist 'jokes,' which resulted in the new housemate, let's call her E, crying. I supported her and told X off. He verbally attacked me, and left our group conversation on a chat app -where everything took place.
I was actually surprised E's boyfriend, who was also a housemate, let's call him K, didn't stand up for her.
I had stopped speaking to G and I was very happy about that. Not having to deal with her and X made my life in the house easier, almost pleasant.
Then, one day, as I was making my lunch using a pot from the communal lot, she said she wanted her pot. I explained this pot was in the communal lot. She said she doesn't mind people using it, but when she asks for it she wants it. I got pissed off of course and emptied my food into another pot, and then washed her pot and gave it to her.
She didn't like my reaction and started a whole dramatic situation.
I, again, was the bigger person and tried to defuse the situation. I also asked her what her problem was with me so we could resolve it. She claimed she had no issue.
During the same month (November), another housemate was rude to me on the group chat, when I complained about the horrible internet connection we had. Even though he actually had his own router in his room, which he only revealed after I complained. I knew from day one as I had followed the cables and saw they went into his room, but it just shows... Let's call him C. C is one of those people who wants to be left alone, and as long as he's doing alright, he gives no fucks about anyone else. He's also very grumpy and at times unreasonably rude to people.
During the same month, I was actually attacked by almost the whole house for complaining about how expensive our internet connection was, when we could pay half if we changed companies and packages.
Day by day I realised I was by myself. I had no contract. The landlord didn't care about anything but rent. I was alone.
E was kinda nice to me a few times. But she became closer to G and started changing her behaviour towards me.
The only one who consistently supported me was A. A is lgbt+ and we had gotten closer on those grounds, as I was the only ally in the house.
G and X are very homophobic and K was homophobic in secret.
The more I tried to not speak with G the more she provoked me.
Some of the things she said in front of me or to me:
-She doesn't like British people and feels she can't make friends in UK (I wonder why)
-She doesn't like people with piercings and tattoos (I got both)
-She doesn't like people who get plastic surgery (but said if she could afford it she would get it)
-She thinks people with disabilities shouldn't get as much help as 'normal' people (I worked with uni students with disabilities)
-She thinks gay people are unnatural (I am an ally)
-She thinks trans people who have committed suicide are stupid (I am an ally)
-She told me if she was fat she'd die (I am fat)
-She thinks I'm a student since I worked at a university at the time and according to her my job wasn't a real job
-She has said wearing makeup to work is stupid (when I was off to work and was wearing makeup). A few days later I caught her wearing makeup to work as well
Go figure.
Just before the holiday break, G and X had a huge fight. They were banging things, slamming doors and shouting. I had the misfortune of being their neighbour, so I could see my furniture that was touching the wall shaking from all the banging. I think X actually beat G up. And I didn't think it's the first time. All this happened around and after midnight. G left the house, and then came back and slept on the couch.
Even though they woke me up, I didn't complain.
2 days later, I was in my room singing around 8pm. It's Saturday. She texted me to say I was too loud. I told her that when she and her boyfriend made noise after midnight I didn't complain. She used excuses.
Then I contacted E, in hope of getting some support (since E and her boyfriend, K, make noise all the time after 11pm, playing music, singing etc.). She said my singing was 'wobbly.' Now bear in mind I have helped E practice her singing. She did apologise in the end, but still...
During the last weekend of 2016, X returned to the house from his holidays, without G. He had a huge party without asking anyone (it was in the house rules that if you have a party you have to ask).
Actually, G had told me once, when I asked why I am the only one who notifies when she has guests, that it's because: "We know everyone else." When I said I didn't know any of her guests, she remained silent.
Anyway, X and his friends got drunk, smashed things, slammed doors until 11pm.
C, who was in the house, and always complains when people slam the doors accidentally during the day, didn't say a thing.
Next day X brought more friends over to have a barbeque. Again, he didn't notify us. Thankfully, I was leaving the house for the weekend.
Then, I returned for the first time in 2017. I had gone to the supermarket, so I opened the fridge to put my food on my shelf. Someone had moved my stuff and had put a pot with meat on my shelf. They all knew I'm vegetarian.
I messaged the group with a picture of the pot and said I'm going to put it on the kitchen working space.
An hour or so later, I was in my room and heard X slamming doors, the cupboards, and trying to intimidate me with noise -as he did very often. He was also shouting on his phone.
I went downstairs, I said happy new year and then tried to explain what happened with the pot. He started shouting in my face: "You don't touch my stuff!" I tried to explain that I said I'd move the pot on the group. He then went on to shout that he wasn't on the group.
Again, calmly, I asked him why he is shouting, and tried to explain this was my shelf, and he was the one who moved my stuff to put his meat dish. He shouted "End of conversation" in my face as if he wanted to physically attack me.
Next day I found out he used my cutting board as well, which is on my cupboard. We're not supposed to use stuff that is on personal cupboards.
A few other 'fun facts:'
G told E that she didn't like British politeness and people saying sorry.
G is almost 10 years younger than X, and they have been together since she was 16 years old.
G was married to X, divorced him and then got back with him.
X was trying to be the 'alpha male' of the house, and he often shouted to the people who belong to minorities (e.g. me and A), thinking he's macho this way.
Both X and G believe this was their house, they felt like they were the king and queen, and the rest of us peasants. I wondered why they didn't rent the whole house by themselves since they felt this way...
X had displayed rude and demeaning behaviour to other housemates as well, in the form of 'jokes.' And if someone tried to hold him accountable for his bullshit he claimed that was "his sense of humour".
Around Christmas, X and G broke up. They still lived in the same room.
A few weeks later, E took one of my lunch boxes from my private cupboard for two days, and only told me after she had taken it. Obviously I was pissed off and explained that was not ok. She said she thought she could 'get away with it' because it was her...
Then, X left the house finally, but E started stealing my stuff continuously. C had his stuff stolen as well, so he moved everything he had in the kitchen to his room.
Unfortunately, my room was too small, so it's hard for me to do the same. I moved all my stuff from the shower to my room though, as my toothpaste kept on getting stolen -by E.
E, G and K kept making noise all the time, slamming doors in the middle of the night, having friends over without asking the rest of us, having parties and making living in the house unbearable.
I finally managed to give everyone 1 month's notice that I'd be leaving the house, and K got on my case because he wanted me to keep paying rent, even if they didn't have a new tenant after 1 month. Our agreement didn't say anything about that. E of course had to get involved as well. She turned into the new G, complaining constantly, even though she didn't abide by the house rules.
She told me off for reacting to K's absurd statement. I reacted in my room, as I was talking to my boyfriend, and she complained I was too loud and they heard I called them names.
Her and K played music all the time, came back drugged at 4am and woke me up (they made a habbit of taking drugs in the house), and I had never complained.
My health kept deteriorating whilst I lived in the house, and instead of leaving me alone they kept on pushing me.
A couple of weeks prior to my move G knocked on my door asking for change. After all that she had done to me, she casually knocked on my door and expected me to give her change. Of course I didn't give her anything. Then, at 1am I went to the loo, and on my way out she opened the door of her room (it's next to the loo) and smiled at me saying she didn't mean to scare me. I muttered 'For fucks sake' and shut my door. Her smile was creepier and scarier than a dark downtown alley after 2am.
Finally, a few days before my move G tried to "make amends with me" aka force me to like her... But it doesn't matter...
I'm out of that horrible place!
I went to a viewing that week, and I was offered a place in the house. I was a bit worried as there was no contract -which means zero security for me- but I had no other choice at that point.
After I moved in, I found out we would be 6 people instead of 5 -which was what I had been told before. One of the housemates, let's call him X, was away during the viewing, so they forgot to mention he lived there too.
I also found out that I had been lied to about who lived in my room before me and the situation of how the previous tenant left.
Less than 3 weeks that I lived there, one housemate's girlfriend moved in as well. And so, without being asked or informed of that fact, I ended up living in a house with 7 people instead of 5.
I quickly realised that X's girlfriend, let's call her G, was quite rude and always had an expression on her face as if she was annoyed by most of us.
I generally tried my best to be super polite to everyone, cleaned after myself, cleaned after other people, paid on time, contributed to bills, notified if I had guests etc.
During my 2nd week in the house, the pre-previous tenant asked me for her stuff from the room. I had never met her and I explained I threw everything away. She sarcastically wished me to 'enjoy the house.'
Right then and there, I knew something was off.
On my 3rd week, I got verbally attacked by G. She called me over the top, exaggerating, a bad fit for the house and a racist. She kept saying she doesn't feel comfortable in her own house (implying it's my fault), ignoring the fact this wasn't her house, but our house -supposedly. And of course she never cared that I didn't call this place my home, and didn't feel comfortable in it, because of her and X.
She admitted she had a bad day at work and took it out on me. I was calm and polite, explained what she did was wrong, and accepted her apology.
The conversation had started with the fact that there was drama in the house because some people were stealing food. And because I supported the person whose food was being stolen, let's call him A, she didn't like that.
She also didn't like that I'm not like the girl who lived in my room before. I later found out that girl was a very quiet person, who never complained because she was scared of G and X.
During the same month, X made some horrendous sexist 'jokes,' which resulted in the new housemate, let's call her E, crying. I supported her and told X off. He verbally attacked me, and left our group conversation on a chat app -where everything took place.
I was actually surprised E's boyfriend, who was also a housemate, let's call him K, didn't stand up for her.
I had stopped speaking to G and I was very happy about that. Not having to deal with her and X made my life in the house easier, almost pleasant.
Then, one day, as I was making my lunch using a pot from the communal lot, she said she wanted her pot. I explained this pot was in the communal lot. She said she doesn't mind people using it, but when she asks for it she wants it. I got pissed off of course and emptied my food into another pot, and then washed her pot and gave it to her.
She didn't like my reaction and started a whole dramatic situation.
I, again, was the bigger person and tried to defuse the situation. I also asked her what her problem was with me so we could resolve it. She claimed she had no issue.
During the same month (November), another housemate was rude to me on the group chat, when I complained about the horrible internet connection we had. Even though he actually had his own router in his room, which he only revealed after I complained. I knew from day one as I had followed the cables and saw they went into his room, but it just shows... Let's call him C. C is one of those people who wants to be left alone, and as long as he's doing alright, he gives no fucks about anyone else. He's also very grumpy and at times unreasonably rude to people.
During the same month, I was actually attacked by almost the whole house for complaining about how expensive our internet connection was, when we could pay half if we changed companies and packages.
Day by day I realised I was by myself. I had no contract. The landlord didn't care about anything but rent. I was alone.
E was kinda nice to me a few times. But she became closer to G and started changing her behaviour towards me.
The only one who consistently supported me was A. A is lgbt+ and we had gotten closer on those grounds, as I was the only ally in the house.
G and X are very homophobic and K was homophobic in secret.
The more I tried to not speak with G the more she provoked me.
Some of the things she said in front of me or to me:
-She doesn't like British people and feels she can't make friends in UK (I wonder why)
-She doesn't like people with piercings and tattoos (I got both)
-She doesn't like people who get plastic surgery (but said if she could afford it she would get it)
-She thinks people with disabilities shouldn't get as much help as 'normal' people (I worked with uni students with disabilities)
-She thinks gay people are unnatural (I am an ally)
-She thinks trans people who have committed suicide are stupid (I am an ally)
-She told me if she was fat she'd die (I am fat)
-She thinks I'm a student since I worked at a university at the time and according to her my job wasn't a real job
-She has said wearing makeup to work is stupid (when I was off to work and was wearing makeup). A few days later I caught her wearing makeup to work as well
Go figure.
Just before the holiday break, G and X had a huge fight. They were banging things, slamming doors and shouting. I had the misfortune of being their neighbour, so I could see my furniture that was touching the wall shaking from all the banging. I think X actually beat G up. And I didn't think it's the first time. All this happened around and after midnight. G left the house, and then came back and slept on the couch.
Even though they woke me up, I didn't complain.
2 days later, I was in my room singing around 8pm. It's Saturday. She texted me to say I was too loud. I told her that when she and her boyfriend made noise after midnight I didn't complain. She used excuses.
Then I contacted E, in hope of getting some support (since E and her boyfriend, K, make noise all the time after 11pm, playing music, singing etc.). She said my singing was 'wobbly.' Now bear in mind I have helped E practice her singing. She did apologise in the end, but still...
During the last weekend of 2016, X returned to the house from his holidays, without G. He had a huge party without asking anyone (it was in the house rules that if you have a party you have to ask).
Actually, G had told me once, when I asked why I am the only one who notifies when she has guests, that it's because: "We know everyone else." When I said I didn't know any of her guests, she remained silent.
Anyway, X and his friends got drunk, smashed things, slammed doors until 11pm.
C, who was in the house, and always complains when people slam the doors accidentally during the day, didn't say a thing.
Next day X brought more friends over to have a barbeque. Again, he didn't notify us. Thankfully, I was leaving the house for the weekend.
Then, I returned for the first time in 2017. I had gone to the supermarket, so I opened the fridge to put my food on my shelf. Someone had moved my stuff and had put a pot with meat on my shelf. They all knew I'm vegetarian.
I messaged the group with a picture of the pot and said I'm going to put it on the kitchen working space.
An hour or so later, I was in my room and heard X slamming doors, the cupboards, and trying to intimidate me with noise -as he did very often. He was also shouting on his phone.
I went downstairs, I said happy new year and then tried to explain what happened with the pot. He started shouting in my face: "You don't touch my stuff!" I tried to explain that I said I'd move the pot on the group. He then went on to shout that he wasn't on the group.
Again, calmly, I asked him why he is shouting, and tried to explain this was my shelf, and he was the one who moved my stuff to put his meat dish. He shouted "End of conversation" in my face as if he wanted to physically attack me.
Next day I found out he used my cutting board as well, which is on my cupboard. We're not supposed to use stuff that is on personal cupboards.
A few other 'fun facts:'
G told E that she didn't like British politeness and people saying sorry.
G is almost 10 years younger than X, and they have been together since she was 16 years old.
G was married to X, divorced him and then got back with him.
X was trying to be the 'alpha male' of the house, and he often shouted to the people who belong to minorities (e.g. me and A), thinking he's macho this way.
Both X and G believe this was their house, they felt like they were the king and queen, and the rest of us peasants. I wondered why they didn't rent the whole house by themselves since they felt this way...
X had displayed rude and demeaning behaviour to other housemates as well, in the form of 'jokes.' And if someone tried to hold him accountable for his bullshit he claimed that was "his sense of humour".
Around Christmas, X and G broke up. They still lived in the same room.
A few weeks later, E took one of my lunch boxes from my private cupboard for two days, and only told me after she had taken it. Obviously I was pissed off and explained that was not ok. She said she thought she could 'get away with it' because it was her...
Then, X left the house finally, but E started stealing my stuff continuously. C had his stuff stolen as well, so he moved everything he had in the kitchen to his room.
Unfortunately, my room was too small, so it's hard for me to do the same. I moved all my stuff from the shower to my room though, as my toothpaste kept on getting stolen -by E.
E, G and K kept making noise all the time, slamming doors in the middle of the night, having friends over without asking the rest of us, having parties and making living in the house unbearable.
I finally managed to give everyone 1 month's notice that I'd be leaving the house, and K got on my case because he wanted me to keep paying rent, even if they didn't have a new tenant after 1 month. Our agreement didn't say anything about that. E of course had to get involved as well. She turned into the new G, complaining constantly, even though she didn't abide by the house rules.
She told me off for reacting to K's absurd statement. I reacted in my room, as I was talking to my boyfriend, and she complained I was too loud and they heard I called them names.
Her and K played music all the time, came back drugged at 4am and woke me up (they made a habbit of taking drugs in the house), and I had never complained.
My health kept deteriorating whilst I lived in the house, and instead of leaving me alone they kept on pushing me.
A couple of weeks prior to my move G knocked on my door asking for change. After all that she had done to me, she casually knocked on my door and expected me to give her change. Of course I didn't give her anything. Then, at 1am I went to the loo, and on my way out she opened the door of her room (it's next to the loo) and smiled at me saying she didn't mean to scare me. I muttered 'For fucks sake' and shut my door. Her smile was creepier and scarier than a dark downtown alley after 2am.
Finally, a few days before my move G tried to "make amends with me" aka force me to like her... But it doesn't matter...
I'm out of that horrible place!
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